A Study In Satin

Part 3 - Dum Vivimus Vivamus


by Tigger



Chapter 9 - New and Unexpected Possibilities


"Good morning, Ma'amselle Cherie," Katrina sang, throwing open
the bed chamber curtains to permit the bright, snow-reflected
sunshine to flood the room.  "It is a glorious day and you are
being the lazy lay-a-bed!  Get up, get up!  Vite, vite!"

Sherla felt like burrowing into her covers, but the little minx
dispensed with those next.  Cursing mentally, she tested her
equilibrium with a careful movement and was pleased to find that
the world did not instantly go into a colored maelstrom.  She
felt brave enough to sit up in bed and scowl at her grinning
lover.  "How can you be so perky this morning?  You said you were
suffering from your own monthly."  A thought crossed Sherla's
mind and she pinned Katrina with a hard look.  "That wasn't a
little fib to make me feel like a whiner, was it?"

"Non, non, my love," Katrina laughed merrily. "I am having my
monthly, but I am used to this where you are not, and the worst
is past for me.  You should be feeling better today as well, if
not at your best.  Aren't you hungry this morning?"

Surprisingly, she was.  With a quick bound, she was out of bed,
and nearly on the floor.  "Easy, petite," Katrina said as she
moved to support Sherla.  "You are better, not all the way
better."

"So I see," Sherla said with some asperity.  "Help me to the
necessary.  I need to clean up.  I feel filthy."

Later, after she had seen to her toilette and her feminine
hygienic needs, Sherla moved very carefully into the sitting room
where a light breakfast had been laid.  Sherla found she was
ravenous, but decided to be cautious until she was certain what
she ate would stay down.  Weak tea and dry toast may not sound
like a great deal, but it tasted heavenly to Sherla and made her
belly smile.

"Aren't you going to eat more, dear?" Irene asked when Sherla set
her plate aside.

"If it stays down for an hour, I will have the same again."

"Ah, good plan.  So, what are you going to do while Katrina and I
are out and about this morning?"

About to say she would stay in the room, Sherla recalled the
lovely sunny day outside.  "I think I would like to sit in Frau
Schmidt's solar and take some sun among her plants.  Perhaps read
a bit."

"A capital plan," Irene enthused.  "I shall help you downstairs
and get you settled before I leave to meet with Herr Kreuger.  I
should be back by two in the afternoon, but I will speak with
Herr Schmidt so that someone checks on you periodically in the
event you need help getting back to the room before that."

~-------------~

The plant-filled solar was delightfully warm and was aromatic
with the scents of flowers and moist earth.  Sherla found herself
comfortably situated on a lounge chair near a small bubbling
fountain with the sun beaming in on her.  Her muscles, still sore
from the previous day's cramps, began to relax in the humid heat
of the glassed-in room.

The Schmidts made a point of dropping in on her every half hour
or so, bringing in some tea, or a sweet biscuit warm from the
oven, or just to chat.  She managed to make it to the common room
at noontime and ate a substantial if bland luncheon before
returning to her seat in the solar.

It was about an hour after she'd returned from luncheon when *it*
happened.  Sherla had been dozing in her seat when two towheaded
tornados zoomed by, squealing and laughing.

"Greta!  Johann!  Come back here, you imps!" another voice called
from the door to the main hotel.  A pretty young woman, a baby in
her arms, hurried into the solar.  She saw Sherla and came over
to her.  "Pardon me, Fraulein, did you see two children run by?"  

Sherla noted her harried look, her blond hair had begun to escape
what had likely been a very neat bun earlier that morning, and
her blouse showed signs of something spilled or spat up on it. 
Pointing in the direction of the children's escape route, Sherla
smiled.  "They went that way.  I suspect they are hiding in those
bushes at the end of the room."

"Drat the little demons.  I shall have to go in myself and roust
them out."  Then she looked at the small bundle in her arms. 
"Please, Fraulein, would you mind watching little Eva?  She is
ready to nap so she won't be a problem, but if I do not have my
hands free, I will never catch up with those two for their naps."

"But. .but. . .but. ."  The young woman did not hear Sherla nor
did she expect anything but a positive response for the next
thing Sherla realized, she had a lapful of baby whose Mother was
already halfway across the room.

"Oh lord, now what do I do?"  Sherla breathed as she quickly
reached down to get a hold on the baby.  Worried that she might
somehow harm the child, she did a rapid scan of her memories,
trying to recall anything she or Sherlock had ever read about
caring for small children.  It was not something in which the
Great Detective had ever had much interest.  Then she remembered
that one had to "Support the head.  Very well, how does on do
that?"

Cautiously, she wrapped her arms around the baby so that she lay
in Sherla's arms - her head crooked in her right elbow.  For her
part, Eva found the strange lady who was looking down at her very
interesting.  Waving her small arms, she grinned up at Sherla.

"She said you were supposed to sleep, Eva, so you will please go
to sleep." Sherla ordered.  The baby giggled up at Sherla.  "That 
wasn't meant to be funny," Sherla retorted, which only made the
baby giggle more.  "Happy, aren't you," Sherla asked, suddenly
finding this small person interesting.

"Ga da da ma ma ga."  Eva said very seriously.

This time, Sherla was the one to laugh.  "Is that so, young Miss? 
I would never have known that."  She said, smiling broadly as she
repositioned Eva in her arms much to the baby's pleasure.  She
was now close enough to grab hold of the lace embroidered into
Sherla's day-gown's collar.  "Oho, so you like lace, do you? 
What are you going to do with it if it comes loose, eh?"

Then, the baby gave a huge yawn, and closed her eyes, nearly
throwing Sherla into a spasm.  She was about to scream for the
little girl's mother when she realized that the baby was still
breathing. *She can't have just gone to sleep.  She was so alert
just a few moments ago, and yet. . ."  Sherla leaned over and put
her cheek near the baby's mouth, and felt the light, feathery
movement of her breathing. *Fascinating.  She did just fall
asleep.  Such unthinking trust.  Amazing.*

Intellectual curiosity led Sherla to examine the sleeping child
closely.  Sherlock had never given much thought to children,
unless he was tracking a kidnapper or unless it was one of his
Baker Street Irregulars.  It occurred to Sherla that she had
never been so close to a child so young for so long a time in
either of her lives.  While she was considering this, the baby
shifted in her arms and cuddled closer, her little arms seeking
and finding Sherla's bosom.  Eva pillowed her head against
Sherla's softness, gave a happy little sigh and melted something
deep inside Sherla.

It was not an altogether comfortable feeling, and one Sherla was
not certain she should explore further. *Ah, here comes the
Mother. . * she thought when she saw the blond woman marching in
her direction, one very displeased-looking child held firmly in
each hand.

"Oh, good, she went to sleep.  Ah, Fraulein . . . ?" 

"Cheryl.  Cheryl Huxley," Sherla replied absently, as she tried
to decide the best way to safely transfer the sleeping child back
to her MOther. 

"Thank you.  I am Frau Helga Mueller.  I wonder if you would do
me the favor or holding her for just a few more minutes while I
get these two ready for their own nap?  I mean, since you are not
doing anything right now." 

*What? Not DOING anything? She thinks I'm just laying about idly? 
Why, I'm . . well . . . um . .* "Ah, of course, if it would
help." 

"Oh, yes, immensely," Frau Mueller said, over her shoulder as she
turned after one of her charges who had already slipped from her
grasp. 

Sherla sighed as she watched the trio disappear into the main
hotel.  It was too bad there was no way she could tell that woman
that she was involved in a case upon which outcome the peace of
the world might well stand.  Sherla merely LOOKED as if she was
doing nothing.  Clear, rational and logical thought took great
effort.

*Too bad you could not come up with any of that commodity when
Frau Helga dropped the responsibility for this child quite
literally in your lap, Miss Holmes,* she mentally chided herself.

Uncertain as to how one looked after a sleeping child, Sherla
reassured herself again that the tiny baby she held was still
breathing regularly.  Of course, THAT was the reason, the ONLY
reason, she lowered her head down to where her cheek rested on
the child's equally-soft one.  The soft susurrus of breath
whispered against her cheek, confirming that the frail bundle was
life - new life, so fragile, yet so full of promise. 

It, no, 'she', Eva, stirred in her sleep, snuggling deeper into
the warmth of Sherla's bosom, her little mouth opening and
closing as even in sleep, she sought a comfort that only a woman
could provide.  It caused a most unexpected response in Sherla. 
Her hidden nipples erected with an alacrity hitherto only called
forth by decidedly adult endeavors, yet there was no sense of
wrongness, no sense of arousal about the feeling despite the
presence of a young child in this instance.  Instead, there was a
rightness, as though the delights of the flesh that so amazed
Sherla had yet another dimension of fulfillment to be explored. 

"Ah, Fraulein Cheryl, aren't you just the perfect picture?" Frau
Schmidt said expansively, distracting Sherla from a truth she was
all too near to discovering. 

"I would wager that you can not wait until you are holding one of
your own in your arms, now can you?" Frau Schmidt continued, fond
memories shining from her eyes. 

"Oh, um, I haven't given that much thought," said Sherla. 

"Well, from what I hear of your adventure with young Herr Krueger
yesterday, you had better start," the older woman said with a
laugh. 

The laugh caused Sherla to start, her sudden movement motion
partially rousing little Eva.  But, thankfully, only for a
moment.  The baby looked up into Sherla's dark eyes and gave a
happy little gurgle, then yawned so hugely it looked impossible
for the tiny face.  Yet, with another little squirm, she was once
again soundly asleep. 

Neither woman said anything for a moment, lost in a shared sense
of wonder at the tiny miracle of a sleeping child.  When Frau
Schmidt spoke, her voice was soft and full of love. 

"Dear child, do not be ashamed of the impulses you feel.  One of
the most wonderful joys in a woman's life is being able to bear
and to love children.  There is no higher calling," she said,
reaching out to gently stroke the infant's head. 

Then she snickered and said, "And as beautiful as you are, you
will not lack for those willing to bestow that gift upon you." 
Before Sherla could disagree, she continued, "If we could capture
your image, sitting here cloaked in the radiance of my solar with
a child in your arms, men of any age would line up for the chance
to make that picture real." 

"I, um, no . . . ah, . . ," stammered Sherla. 

"Oh, hush, girl.  I know it is too early for you to admit such
things.  One just come into the flower of her beauty, such as
you, is still unsure of her true appeal and of her true needs." 
Now Frau Schmidt's hand reached up to stroke Sherla's
midnight-dark tresses.  "But I was not always this old, or this
stout," Frau Schmidt claimed with a twinkling smile, "and Herr
Schmidt was quite a handsome man in his youth, too.  Someday you
will find your man.  And find how blessed a child of your own can
be." 

She bustled off about her business, her check of the young woman
complete.  But her effect on that same young woman was far from
finished when the door to the solar closed. 

*Is a child, my own child, truly that desirable?* Sherla mused. 
*I have to admit, the smile on little Eva's face, one put there
by the comfort of my embrace, was a very beautiful thing to see
and to experience.  I wonder what it would be like to have a
child of my own.  To feel her grow within me, and to bear her,
and to feed her from my own body . . .* 

*But that would mean I would have to lie with a man, to let him
plow my so-very-fertile furrow,* Sherla realized - then realized
the idea was not as horrifying as it should be, as she thought it
should be, at least . . .  She leaned back in her chair so that
she could support the infant with no real effort and closed her
eyes.  She tried to imagine such a man in her life, and was not
surprised when his face took on the features of Hans-Peter.  She
formed the mental picture of him cuddling her in his arms, as she
had just cuddled the baby in her arms.  It felt. . . strange -
right. . .and yet, somehow wrong as well.

"And what have we here?"  Irene's voice broke through that mental
picture.  "Who is your friend?"  The older woman asked as she
seated herself opposite Sherla and began stripping off her
gloves.

"A mother was chasing her other two children and asked me to
watch this one while she put the others down for their naps."

"You seem quite at home with her," Irene observed.  "I wouldn't
have thought Sherlock would have had much experience with small
ones."

"Experience?  Try none, Irene, and as to being "at home?"  I have
been terrified since the moment her Mother all but dropped her in
my lap."

"Oh, well, then let me take her. . "

"NO!, she's FINE. . . I mean, I've gotten used to her. . .and. .
and. . she's sleeping. . ." *And when did I learn to lie to
myself?  I don't WANT to give her up. . *

A quick glance at Irene's smug expression told Sherla that she
had not fooled THE Woman one little bit.  "Of course, dear.  I
was just offering," was all she said.

Irene considered the pair seated across from her. *She becomes
more a woman with each passing day.  When she applies her
rational side, she seems every bit as formidable in that realm as
was Sherlock, and yet, Sherla seems so much more than that to me. 
Would I have felt that way about Sherlock had I truly known him? 
Known him as more than the rival I always had to outdo, or as the
living embodiment of a masculine world that I was excluded from
solely by virtue of my birth?  Somehow, I doubt it.  She has
grown much in her knowing these past days, and more than that
since she wrote those early passages in that journal she still
keeps.  I would wager a fat purse that there shall be a very
interesting entry in that soon enough.  If she can bring herself
to deal with this honestly.*

Looking up from checking the baby again, Sherla gave her
curiosity full rein.  "And what did you discover on your outing,
Mother?"

A knowing look crossed Irene's face, but she replied.  "Nothing
suited to our needs and requirements, I am afraid.  According to
Herr Kreuger, we were well over halfway to Meringen at one point. 
He fears that he will not have anything more to show us soon, and
will be forced to refer us to a colleague of his in Meringen."

"That is too bad.  And what of the chateau Hans-Peter told us of? 
The one near Rosenlaui?"

"Herr Kreuger tells me that the current tenants have an option to
extend the lease at their discretion, provided they are willing
to increase the rent a suitable amount each time.  He cannot
guarantee its availability in any reasonable time frame."

"That is too bad.  It sounds more and more interesting each time
I hear of it."

"Doesn't it, though?"  Irene agreed.  "Perhaps when we remove to
Meringen, we will get a chance to at least see the place, eh?"

Sherla was about to reply when she heard, "Ah, Fraulein Cheryl,
thank you so much." 

Frau Mueller's voice interrupted Irene's report and precluded a
return to the more private musings the child had sparked in each
of them.  Musings that, at least in Sherla's case, had been
almost frightening, yet still compelling; certainly too consuming
for her peace of mind.  She let the harried mother  reclaim her
infant, not without an instant's pang of loss.

Irene also watched the mother and child depart, but she watched
Sherla more carefully.  "A lovely child," she finally offered.

"Yes, she was," Sherla said, almost absently.  "Irene?"

"Yes, sweet?"

"Did you ever regret . . I mean. . did you ever consider. . ." 
Sherla stumbled as she tried to find a way to phrase her
question.

"Did I ever want a child of my own body, dear girl?  Is that what
you are trying so hard to ask?"  Irene's voice was soft, and
gently indulgent.  

Finally, Sherla was able to nod.  It was done very quickly, and
just barely perceptibly, but it was a nod.  AT least, Irene
elected to take it as such.  "A difficult question, my dear. One
might as well ask what have I done in those years that might have
gone undone had I instead been a full time mother? There is no
good answer to that question, Sherla.  For my part, I can only
say that one must make choices in life, and I don't regret the
ones I made.   It helps that my dear friend Nel has given me
several children to spoil - and then there has been Katrina . .
.and you.  No, I don't regret not having born a child."

~------------------~

"How long will you have to be doing this stuff," Katrina in her
best 'disgusted boy' voice asked.

Erich looked up from the dustpan-full of monkey droppings he'd
collected and grinned.  "Don't tell my Father, but I actually
like doing this. . .taking care of animals, I mean."

"Oh really?  Seems like a pretty nasty chore to me," Katrina/Karl
plied as she carefully measured food into one animal's food dish.

"Well, he wants me to follow in his footsteps here, take over the
train station when he retires.  Me?  I want to be an animal
doctor.  But, I heard the man who ordered this lot is coming down
with a big cargo sleigh tomorrow to take some of them back with
him.  Might make another trip the next day if the tracks to
Meringin still aren't fixed."

"You ever seen this guy before?"  Katrina asked, trying to sound
off handed.  "I mean, what kind of person needs so many monkeys.
. .and what was it you called these big ones?  Chimpandas?"

"Chimpanzees, stupid," Erich tossed off the insult companionably. 
"My Papa says the guy told him they were for research on some
type of medicines.  Hope they don't hurt these fellows doing it.
As to the man, well, I saw him a few times around the station. 
Big man - taller than my father and he's over a hundred eighty
centimeters and big all over.  Talks funny.  My dad says he's
English like your Momma, and I have been learning to speak
English in school, but he doesn't talk the way we're taught."

"What do you mean?"

"He just has a really funny saying things, like some of the
letters aren't there.  Like when he had me help him hitch up his
team.  He said, "'Ere, boy, over 'ere. Gimme an 'and with these
'arnesses."  Like I said. . .some of the letters were missing."

Katrina nodded her understanding and spat into the straw.  "So
he's coming tomorrow?"

"That's what my Papa told me.  Right after lunch because he has a
fifteen kilometer sleigh ride and those big sleds are not very
fast."

"Well, hopefully they will all get delivered soon so that we can
get back to our other games."  Katrina said, injecting what she
hoped was sufficient disappointment into her voice.

"Oh, we will.  Best of all, Papa wants me to be here tomorrow
when the delivery is made so I won't have to go to school in the
afternoon.  We can go off on our own after I help load the
sleigh.  Got something I want to share with you, too.  Something
special."

"Sounds great." Katrina/Karl enthused.  A bell chimed from the
clock at the front of the warehouse.  "Well, I have to be getting
back to the hotel so I can get cleaned up and changed for
dinner."

"Change clothes just for dinner," Erich said, shaking his head in
resignation.  "Unbelievable."

Katrina gave him a last "What can you do?" shrug of her shoulders
and headed out the door and into the brisk evening air.  She had
information Sherla and Irene would want to hear.