A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's A Change of Pace ©1997
This story is based on and derived from the situations and
characters developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in
their collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on the Alt.sex.stories.TG news group.
This story is published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
A Change of Pace (Archived in its entirety at the Nifty Archive)
Fixer@servtech.com (Mike Allegretto)
Reprise from A Change of Pace
"That was dirty pool, mother" Jack complained.
She looked up from some picture album she was paging through,
and set her coffee down. She looked her new daughter directly
in the eye. "Well, you've had all morning to explore your own
feminine body rather than some movie star's. Have you learned
Jack just shook her head. How could she expect her to talk
about something like that. Gosh mom, I never thought I'd have
the chance to inspect a real hymen - thanks for letting me do
it first hand?
"About what I said." Jack broached the subject nervously.
"About needing more time?" she smiled wickedly.
"You can't really count that as consent." Jack objected.
"The statement 'I need more time', especially in hot and heavy
breathing, would be interpreted by most people as a request."
She countered while flipping to another page of the photo
"You said I could change back when I wanted to." Jack tried
switching to a different tack.
"Only after you are acclimated." she reminded him. "You have
"That's for sure." Jack commented staring at her nails.
"Whatever possessed me to paint my nails?"
"That would have been the Training Wheels." Laurie explained
"I gave you some of Scully's thought patterns and habits. I
actually alternated between physical changes and slipping in
little mental assists. "
"Like what else?" Jack queried.
"As in last night you knew when your hair was a mess, young
lady." Laurie pointed at Jack's new black hair. "That needs
brushing before you even think of showing your face anywhere."
Jack shuddered at the thought of showing this new face
anywhere. Still it was probably something that was better left
unsaid. "I take it that the 'Training Wheels' are gone?"
"Those were Scully things - you have to learn how to be your
own woman, Jacqueline. That's how we all manage it." Laurie
explained, pausing to look at the photo album again. "Still I
_might_ decide that you were only giving provisional consent.
Should you ever want to be male again I'm not sure I want to
set the precedent that consent can be obtained after you get
the girl on the edge of orgasm."
"You _might_ consider it provisional?" Jack jumped at the
chance. Still she had to be careful. She knew that when her
mother said she _might_ do something it meant that she had
further points for Jack to listen to first.
"Even with an eight hour extension you continued to explore
only the physical aspects directly related to sex." Jacqueline
could recognize that her mother was now in lecture mode. "Do
you really believe that life for a woman is about getting laid
and having orgasms? I expected you to learn far more."
"Mother, you were throwing the changes at me every fifteen
minutes. I couldn't even finish looking at one thing before
two others were already changed!" Jack protested.
"I did notice a lot of nail polish remover was gone." Laurie
conceded. "Maybe I should have provided the training wheels on
How to paint your nails at the same time as the idea that they
needed to be painted."
"Well I can't possibly learn anything about what really being
a woman at a pace like that. If you want me to find out any of
these 'sacred' truths I'll need more time."
Oh shit, Jack things to herself. Her mother's grin left no
doubts. She savored her victory while gazing longingly at the
photo album again.
"So how long before I'm acclimated enough to be turned back."
Jacqueline asked, resigning herself to the fact that it was
now her name for at least awhile.
"Oh, I don't know. At least a year." her mother replied
sipping on her coffee.
"A Year! But what about school?"
"Don't worry, records are easy to take care of." she reassured
Jacqueline sighed realizing she had no choice. "Well, I
suppose I could stand a year."
Laurie finished her coffee without comment. Jacqueline
suddenly realized she didn't recognize the photo album her
mother had been looking through all morning.
"Do you want to take a look?" Laurie offered, spinning it
"I've kept it safe all these years."
Jacqueline took the album and started looking. They were old
family photos. He could recognize his grandmother from when
she was about Mom's age. But who was the teenage boy? He
didn't remember any uncles.
Oh shit, suddenly he knew who the pictures were of.
"Grandmother gave you an initiation too?" she asked.
Laurie nodded. "But if anyone asks, that's your Uncle Larry.
They don't have to know that he doesn't exist anymore."
"How long were you stuck as Larry?" Jacqueline asked.
"Those were taken when I was almost eighteen, about three
years before you were born." Laurie explained. "The
'initiation' was a graduation present from my mother. It took
me three years for me to learn enough Magic to do a
Transformation Spell. Oh, did I forget to mention that you
will have to apply the reverse Transformation Spell yourself?"
Jacqueline gulped. If it had taken her mom three years she
knew it would take her at least four. She was going to be
female through college. She did not like this one bit at all.
"Wait a second," Jacqueline started running over the numbers
aloud "If it took you three years to learn how to Transform
yourself back, how could you have had me when you were twenty
"Jacqueline, I certainly hope you know how babies are made,
especially since it effects you far more directly now."
"No," she replied "How could you be turned into a guy when you
were eighteen, take three years to learn how to turn yourself
back, then meet dad, get married, get pregnant and give birth
to me nine months later?"
"The truth is out there. "Laurie answered "There should be
enough Scully left in you to come up with a _rational_
Oh god, Jacqueline just sat there numbly. "It took you three
years to learn _how_ to use the Transformation Spell, but you
never did _use_ it, did you?"
"Not until last night, darling daughter of mine." Laurie
explained "I'm sure you can figure it out just as quickly. You
know what they say - Like Mother, Like Daughter. And we both
had a lot of catching up to do."
A Change of Direction
©1997 All Rights Reserved.
"I'm not going to be pulled in just because you were!"
Jacqueline stared icily. "I want to learn what I have to know
as quickly as possible. I don't want to be female a month
longer that I have to!"
"That's your choice."Laurie conceded "But you won't like some
of the lessons required, especially if you really want to take
"Just as long as it can really be over and done with in a
year." Jacqueline seethed. "You had better not have been lying
"Now Jacqueline, I never lied to Jack, and I won't lie to you.
It can most assuredly be done in a single year." Laurie
assured her daughter.
Of course, Laurie added to herself. You'll have to acclimate
very quickly, since the most intricate portion of the
Transformation Spell can only be learned while in the delivery
room, and the final nuances while nursing your newborn.
"I don't believe you." was Jack's cold reply. Laurie's eyes
slued to her Transformed son. "That book proves you lied to
me. By omission, certainly and by making promises you did not
intend to keep. You never intended to return me to normal."
Anger sparked in Laurie's eyes. "I beg to differ, young lady.
If you had asked to end the Transformation it would have
ended. Now it is beyond my power to reverse it."
The bleak lack of any emotion in her child's response chilled
Laurie's soul. "Perhaps, but you have a world of history on
your side," Jack lifted the album to her, "to prove that,
without beforehand knowledge, the Transformed person is not
going to make that decision because the full ramifications
have been left. . ." the finely made fingers whirled in the
air as if to pull the correct words out of the ether,
Laurie pursed her lips and refused to answer. "How long,
Mother? How long has this. . . this abomination been
inflicted on the men of our family? And how could you do it
to me? And why should I believe you when you say that it is
beyond your power?"
"ABOMINATION?" Laurie's temper was back in full measure. "How
dare you call it that? It is a gift! A wonderful gift and
you will damn well learn and accept that basic truth if you
want any hope of returning to your pitiful male existence. I
*love* you and I will not have *you* say or think otherwise.
I loved Jack enough to give him these gifts of magic and
womanhood because I have had both and wanted to share them
with the son I love."
"Forgive me, Mother, if I don't share your enthusiasm for
these . . . gifts." The disgusted look on Jack's face left no
doubt of what he had wanted to say about those gifts. "And
you did not answer my question, Mother, so I will answer it.
Too long. This unwilling Transformation stunt has been going
on for so long that you fail to see the wrong you have done to
me, your son. Well, it ends here and now. I will be the last
of our family."
"What??" Laurie's head snapped up. "What did you say?"
"I won't perpetuate this horror myself nor will I permit it to
be perpetuated on any child of mine. I will not even bring a
child into a world where you consider it *your* unequivocal
right to take away that child's life and dreams because *you*
think you know better."
Laurie went very still, the full import of what her child had
just said shocked her into speechlessness. This was not going
at all well and certainly not as it had gone with her own
mother nor as Mum had told her it had gone with all the
previous generations of her family. Had she done something
wrong in casting her spell? Had she missed some key element
of the enchantment that would have made Jacqueline more able
to accept and enjoy her new situation? Choosing her words
very carefully, she tried a more conciliatory tact. "You
would deny me a grandchild to love?"
It did not work. "It ends with me, Mother."
"But you have already tasted the power of your femininity, and
of your new sexuality. Before you can learn enough magic to
change yourself back you may well end up pregnant."
"Even assuming I choose to be actively female, which is a
stretch, there are ways of preventing conception. This is the
"Women on birth control have babies every day, Jacqueline.
There is no foolproof way of preventing conception short of
abstinence." And you won't be able to do that, my daughter,
Laurie thought. Another little aspect of this Transformation
is that your female needs are extremely well developed and
demanding. Soon, your fingers will not be nearly enough for
"Again, assuming that something goes very wrong, there are
ways of ending an unwanted pregnancy. And it *will* be
unwanted, Mother. No child of my blood will come into this
world because I cannot trust you."
All remaining color drained from Laurie's face. "You can't
terminate, Jack." she whispered, not realizing that she had
fallen back to using his male name. Seeing the look on her
child's face, she hurried on. "It is not only a moral thing,
daughter, it is a rule of magic, as well. Someone who
deliberately snuffs out the spark of life from another human
can never again wield the power."
"Then my dreams will die with the fetus, Mother, for I cannot,
will not permit a child of mine to face what I am facing right
now. I won't Transform him or her, but as long as you live,
you are a threat because you don't believe there is anything
wrong in stealing a dream."
"You keep saying that. What dream? You can become a male
again, if you choose." and after you give me my grandchild she
added in a whispered thought to herself, "What dreams have I
taken from you?"
"College. It took you three years, Mother, so it will
probably cost me at least that much. I will not play college
sports. I won't go to a prom with my best girl on my arm. I
won't learn all the things a man needs to know to live in a
man's world as a man. You might as well have killed me,
Mother, and have had done with it."
Tears came to Laurie's eyes. "You cannot mean that. You are
just upset right now, overwrought. Honestly, Jack, it is not
that bad. In fact, *being* a fellow's best girl at the prom
really is rather wonderful, if you would just give it a
chance. Nothing else needs to change. I am sorry I hurt you
for I see now that I have, but I did not mean for it to be
Jack watched his Mother's tears with a detachment born of a
soul deep fury. "I will give you one chance, Mother. Reverse
the spell, right now. Return me to normal, give me back the
life *I* want for me instead of the one *you* want for me and
I will not do anything to prevent having children. Otherwise,
live with the fact that you have ended our line with your
gleeful lack of concern for my wants and dreams."
If anything, the tears flowed harder. Last night, Laurie
could have reversed the Transformation. She could have given
her son back the life he evidently wanted enough to threaten
her this way. Now, that was beyond even her power because the
final spell she had cast upon his "request" for "more time"
had been very carefully crafted so that only Jacqueline could
reverse it. Which she could not do until she had learned the
lessons and the magic necessary to effect and control the
Transformation Spell on her own. Lessons that included giving
birth and nurture to a child she now insisted she would never
permit to be born. Goddess, what *had* she done?
"I have to leave." Laurie sobbed and ran from the room leaving
a furious former son, now daughter, behind.
Twenty minutes later, a starkly composed Laurie returned to
find Jack exactly as she had left her. She was simply sitting
there, staring at the picture album. Goddess, but her son
made a beautiful woman. Dark hair, dark flashing eyes and an
olive complexion gave hints to the family's Gypsy ancestry.
In the right period costume, the girl would have looked right
at home in their Great Great Great Grandmother's caravan
wagon, dancing to the rhythm of a tambourine for the coins men
would toss her way and telling fortunes by fire light.
And the son she had given birth to hated the very thought of
that. Probably hated her, too, for her part in it. Still,
there was nothing more she could do about it. Laurie had
spent the last fifteen minutes pouring over her ancestral
texts, looking for a charm or potion or spell that would undo
what she had done, but to no avail. She had done her work far
too well in that respect and evidently not well enough in the
sense of easing her child's acceptance of this change as the
wonderful gift Laurie had seen it as. Now, she had no choice.
She had to play this debacle out the only way she had left to
her and hope, that in the end, she did not lose her child in
With great care, she walked back to her seat across from her
daughter and sat down. "I cannot undo the Transformation,
Jack. I have gone through all my records, and no one except
the Transformed One has ever been able to reverse the change
"So, others have found the change not to their liking?" The
comment was snide and was meant to wound. Laurie did her best
to ignore it.
Instead, she steeled herself not to rise to the spite in
Jack's voice. There was nothing to be gained at this point by
fighting. "According to my family records, there have been
fifty male to female Transformations attempted in our family
over the past two hundred years. Of that number, five men
refused the final Transformation and were restored to their
masculine state at the end of the first hour. Of the
remaining cases, five members of our family who completed
Transformation attempted to reverse the spell. The three who
completed the learning succeeded in undoing Transformation and
lived out their lives as men. However, the other two who
tried to reverse the spell were not successful. One attempted
the change before completing all the steps of the learning,
and the other forced his mother to attempt a counter-spell.
Jack sat back, legs akimbo, in a posture of utter male
dejection. It made Jacqueline look completely ridiculous and
rather lewd, but Laurie bit her lip and said nothing. Trying
to enforce the little niceties of ladylike deportment would
not help Laurie's weak case with her daughter. Jacqueline
looked up, her black eyes bleak and filling with tears. "Then
it is over. I know you won't attempt it because you won't
kill me, but in truth, I am not sure I wouldn't rather be dead
"That is enough!" Laurie's ringing rebuke stunned Jack. "I
will apologize one more time for my stupidity in thinking you
might be intelligent enough, open enough, to appreciate what I
did for you. However, you are alive. You are a beautiful,
intelligent human being who happens to be female and that
*can* be temporary. You have the potential to undo what you
find so absolutely distasteful if you will only quit whining
and get on with what must be done. You don't know anything
about the power you could wield, but just so you might begin
to understand, consider this. You say I have stolen your
dreams, that I am denying you the opportunity to go to college
as a male. If you complete the training and if you master the
skills I will teach you, there is no reason that you cannot
Transform yourself into your male self, at any age you desire.
You want to be an eighteen year old again, then make it so
when you perform the Transformation Spell on yourself. It
will be within your capabilities."
"And all I have to do is learn your little magicks and do your
little tests, is that it? Which you have already said I will
find distasteful. Let's not forget that."
"No, in your current mind set, I imagine they will be bloody
awful for you, but that cannot be helped. It is the only way
that I can find in my records to undo what I have done without
causing your death. For my part, I give you my most solemn
oath that I will teach you everything you need to know as
quickly as you can absorb and master the knowledge. In
return, I want your promise that you will do nothing to try
and accelerate your return to manhood. I won't teach you
without that promise because, while I don't want to live with
your unhappiness on my conscience, I refuse to be the cause of
Jack considered that. Laurie wanted to squirm under the power
of her unblinking stare. Goddess, but would Jacqueline be
powerful once she learned to focus her craft. Finally, Jack
drew herself up and spoke. "Very well, Mother. I agree and
you have my promise on that score. Just one other thing,
though. If I ever am given cause to believe that you are not
being completely truthful with me again, or that you are
playing games with me, I will leave and never come back. I
will live the rest of my days as you have made me, but with
one small change. I will have myself surgically sterilized so
that this ends with me."
She is striking out, trying to hurt me, as she has been hurt,
Laurie thought. She shook her head. This was going to be so
very hard. Why had it not been hard for her and her mother?
What had she done wrong with her own, beloved child? "Well.
I guess that tells me what you really think of me. I could
say that our family tradition says that I have done nothing to
deserve that, but there are exceptions to every rule and you
evidently are the one that proves it." She shrugged. No sense
in avoiding the worst of it. "Very well. I will agree to your
condition subject to one of my own. I cannot tell you
everything. The tasks you must undertake have lessons that
you must learn yourself. If I tell you what is going to occur
in those cases, then you might as well not do them and you
will not achieve your goal. You will simply have to trust me
on this or we can go no further. You would lose your chance
to master the Transformation Spell."
"Trusting you right now is difficult, Mother." Jack watched as
her arrow shattered her mother's hard won calm, as she had
intended it to do. Oddly, she felt a little ashamed. "All
right. I agree to your condition, but my statement stands.
Any other little non-truth and it is all over for you, for me
and for whatever hope of family continuity you still might
"I cannot let you do that, Jack. That is your male ego
talking and I will not permit you to do something that
stupidly harmful to yourself just to lash out at me. If you
attempt to leave, and if you follow through with your threat,
I will use my magic to stop you. You know I can influence
minds and I will make it impossible for you to take such a
The hopeless shrug from her daughter nearly broke Laurie's
heart. "You must do what you think you have to do, Mother, as
must I. You've already taken away the things I thought I
wanted, why not my free will, as well. Seems that would be
the simplest thing all around. Abra Kadabra, Bibbity Bobbity
Boo and Jack is a happy Jill. Or Jacqueline. No more muss or
fuss. Must be easy as pie for a wheeler-dealer spell caster
Laurie's answer was all but inaudible. "If I do that, you
will never wield magic because once a mind is opened to
magical suggestion, it is open forever. You cannot shield it
against someone else's influence. Only free minds can focus
the power of the Goddess. If I take away that choice, you
will be Jacqueline for the rest of your life." She saw the 'so
what' look in her daughter's eyes and hardened her heart and
her voice. "The only difference between my way and your way,
sweetie, is that I *will* have my grandchild. If you force me
to take your mind, I will go all the way and turn you into the
perfect wife and mother. I swear it! If your children are
all I can have of you, then I will have them."
Jack was strangely unresponsive in light of her ultimatum.
Laurie waited for her to say something, but she didn't.
Finally, Jack stood and looked down at her Mother. "I guess
that says it all. You hold all the cards. If I don't do as
you say, I end up as I am - a baby farm for future generations
of witches. Your kindness and concern for my feelings in all
this almost makes me wish we lived in Salem. When do we
The cruel remark and the sarcasm dripping from what had been
her son's favorite endearment cut at her soul like a barely
sharp knife, leaving ragged bleeding bits in its wake. She
would not cry, not again. Not in front of her. "Tomorrow,"
she rasped out. "I need some time to prepare and to fix
things like those records you mentioned. You need some time
to deal with the anger in your soul. Tomorrow is soon
enough." Probably too soon, she thought, but the early
lessons would be the easiest, and Laurie would be the one who
decided when the objectives of those lessons had been
"Very well, Mother. I will be in the garden." and with that,
Jacqueline turned on her heel and strode to the garden.
The absurd picture of it drew forth a watery chuckle from
Laurie after the door slammed behind Jack. She had looked so
silly trying to walk like a man in that compact, curvy body.
Bouncing like that probably hurt like hell. Well, dealing
with her first brassiere was a milestone in any girl's life.
Only most girls started with training bras fitted over a
dreaming young girl's hopeful almost-bumps. Her daughter had
to face a garment intended for a grown woman and was going to
have to fit it over fully formed B or C cup sized breasts.
How was she going to pull this off, she asked herself again.
How was she going to get her child through all the training,
all the lessons that she would need to come into the fullness
of her powers? Especially when the entire process had to
culminate with the ultimate expression of the woman-power, the
giving and nurturing of life? Somehow, she had to manipulate
her child into accepting . . . no, that was not enough. Her
child had to glory in his new found womanliness in order to
gain the power. Somehow.
Sighing, she rose from her seat and headed for her library.
First things first, she reminded herself, wearily. She needed
to make a place in this strange new world for her daughter.
There were records to change and memories to adjust before
Jacqueline could take Jack's place. After that, she would
have to go clothes shopping. Jack could get by on sweats and
castoffs for today, but she would need enough real clothes to
get started tomorrow, and Laurie's own wardrobe would not do
for her daughter. For one thing, her stuff was not
appropriate for a teenager, and for another, her things would
probably not fit Jack. Laurie's experienced fashion-eye told
her that Jacqueline was slimmer in the waist and bigger in the
bust than her Mother.
What a waste, she thought, casting such lovely pearls before
such a male chauvinist swine. Well, it was her job to help
her daughter learn to appreciate her new riches. It was much
more than she had let on to Jack. If Laurie was right about
her daughter's potential, Jacqueline's power was going to be
greatly needed in the dark days to come.
A Change of Direction
"Where the hell was he?" his still sleep fogged mind demanded.
Slowly, he fought his way to full wakefulness and tried to
take stock of his surroundings. Nothing was familiar.
Nothing was as it had been when he had fallen asleep or as it
had been for the last four years of his life. Only his window
that overlooked Mum's garden was where it belonged, but
everything else was. . . . wrong.
His basketball poster, his model planes and cars, his sports
memorabilia - every single thing that had been his was gone.
In their place were odd, fragile looking little nick-nacks,
crystal statues, dolls and a rock singer poster. A male rock
singer that Jack could not stand in the least.
And all *his* furniture was gone, too, replaced by a very
feminine, ivory colored ensemble. Even the bed he'd fallen
asleep in was gone, replaced instead by a frill-laden canopy
Mother. It had to be Mother. His hands came up to cup the
soft mounds of flesh that now a part of him. It had not been
just a dream, after all. A nightmare, maybe, and from the
looks of his room, Mother had used her magic to up the ante
while he'd slept.
He started to get out of bed and nearly fell when instinctive
movements learned over the course of a lifetime did not take
into account his new center of gravity. Overbalanced by his
new weight distribution, he only just caught himself on the
bed frame. Carefully, and with a great deal of conscious
effort, he rose again and moved about to inspect "his" room
His large dresser had been replaced by an ornate armoire while
his desk had become a vanity table covered with a variety of
tubes, bottles and pots that held things he really did not
want to think about. On entering his walk-in closet, he was
greeted by nothing but rows of empty hangers and shelves.
Every hint of his male identity had been ripped from the room,
as ruthlessly and as completely as his masculinity had been
ripped from him.
In stunned disbelief, Jack stood there in the door to his
closet and quietly mourned the loss of all the little prizes
and treasures of a lifetime. A stray lock of hair fell across
his face and resisted his best effort to clear it out of his
Slowly, he walked over to the vanity and found the very
feminine hairbrush he knew would be there. His mother was
nothing if not attentive to the fine details. Jack quickly
came to rue that he'd never gone through a "long-hair" stage
as a male so that he could have known how to deal with the
shaggy mane. Brushing that tangled black mass was itself a
tortuous experience in self abuse. He quietly admitted to
himself he should have listened to Mum's advice and brushed it
out more thoroughly the previous morning.
He brushed it furiously until he could not find any more
snarls and then tried to figure out how to keep the damn stuff
out of his face. Rubber bands seemed the simplest solution,
and soon his mane was gathered behind his head. It was not
elegant, but he could see again. A butch cut was looking
better and better to him.
What to wear was the next question and there was only one
answer immediately evident. A pair of white panties and a
folded white cotton terrycloth robe rested on the cushioned
stool in front of the vanity table. A pair of pink rubber
shower slippers, rested beside the stool on the floor.
Jack stripped off the sweatshirt and man's jogging shorts he
had worn since yesterday and donned the garments his mother
had left for him. He was disappointed, but not especially
surprised, when his discarded clothes had simply disappeared
before his eyes.
As ready as he was likely to be, Jack moved out of the
relative sanctuary of his room, and went off to face his
Mother. He found her seated at the kitchen table, sipping
coffee, a plate of toast in front of her. Her chin rested
heavily in the palm of her free hand. Dark smudges bagged
under her half open eyes and fatigue lines cut starkly into
her normally smooth face.
Walking past her to pour a cup for himself, he turned back to
her. "Busy night, Mother-darling?" he asked with heavy irony,
as he sat down across from her.
She cocked one of her eyes at him, but displayed no other
emotion at his jibe. "Obviously, Jacqueline. There was a lot
that had to be done if we were going to be able to start your
training today." She reached down and pulled up a stack of
papers from the chair beside her and slid them across the
table. "You will need these. ID's, driver's license, health
insurance card and all your other personal effects and
accounts, but all now set up in the name of Jacqueline Donovan
instead of John."
"And my friends? The people who know me?"
"Now remember only Jacqueline, and as for friends, some
adjustments had to be made there, too. You have a history of
being one of the girls instead of one of the boys. You are
the cheerleader instead of the cheered. And before you jump on
me, no, you don't have a boy friend. Given your looks, that
may raise some issues for you, but I figured you would rather
deal with those questions instead having to deal with a man."
Jack's face fell as he took it all in. Finally, he sighed and
took a bracing sip of his coffee. "So, my life is wiped as
clean as everything that was mine was blotted out of my room.
Is nothing mine, anymore, Mother?"
She was simply too tired to argue with him. The magic she had
expended the night before had taken its toll on all her
resources. She was exhausted and needed rest. "Had to be
done. Step one of your trip back to your old male self.
Every little reminder of your masculinity will set back your
progress. Remember, the requirement is that you must fully
acclimate to being a woman." She looked up and saw the pain
in her daughter's face and immediately understood. "Oh, don't
look that way." she said disgustedly. "None of your things
are gone forever. The instant your chromosomes are XY again,
they will reappear. Just like magic."
Jack could not quite hid the glimmer of a smile at her little
joke, but tried anyway. "So, what is the plan for today,
teacher? What little punishments are on the docket, today?"
Laurie wanted to scream, but didn't. It wouldn't do any good
and she needed to conserve what energy she still had. With a
calmness that did not remotely resemble her actual feelings,
she answered, "As long as you consider it punishment,
Jacqueline, we might as well do nothing. Get this straight,
okay? You have to work at this. Moreover, you have to want
it. It would be best and perhaps even easiest, if you could
want the experience for itself, for the simple pleasure of
being a beautiful woman. But if you cannot want it for that,
then at least want it because it is the only way you are going
to achieve your goal."
With great effort, Laurie used both hands to push herself to
her feet. She kicked a shopping bag over to Jack. "You have
two tasks today, one fairly simple; the other will apparently
not be so simple. In that bag you will find a full set of
clothes in your new sizes. Skin out. You need to learn how
to dress yourself, and to get used to how women's clothes feel
on your body. I suggest you dress and undress yourself
several times until you get the hang of it." A sly grin
momentarily lit her face. "There are several pairs of hose in
there since you will probably run the first couple of pairs.
Try to get it right before you ruin the last pair."
"It might be easier if you would try not to have quite so much
fun with this at my expense, Mother." Jack said darkly.
Her momentary pleasure instantly evaporated. "I wanted to
have fun doing all of this with you, Jacqueline. I'd always
believed that when this time came for us, I would relive
through you all the lovely and joyful things I discovered with
my own mother when she taught me. Can't you let me have what
little crumbs of pleasure that fall my way in this?"
Jack was not going to let her make him feel small in this. He
wasn't - this was her fault and if it was not as pleasurable
as she had wished it would be, well that was a small thing
compared to what she had done to him. He ignored her question
and instead asked one of his own in a toneless, inflection-
less voice. "You said there were two things I had to
accomplish today. What was the other task?"
Recognizing the implicit rejection of her request, Laurie
responded in equally cold tones of her own. "You need to
start thinking of yourself in the feminine. Understand that I
can hear your thoughts, feel your emotions, Jacqueline. You
are trying to perpetuate the image of yourself as a man stuck
in a woman's body."
"Well, that is exactly what I am, thanks to you!" he snarled.
"As long as that is what you think you are, that is all you
will be, daughter. And we can go no further in your training
until you start accepting the reality of your female state."
Laurie turned and walked back to stand before her child.
"Believe me, Jacqueline, if I could somehow undo the
Transformation, or if I could somehow go back in time and make
it so that none of this ever happened, I would do it. No
matter what the cost to myself. If my last drop of heart's
blood would make you what you long to be, I would cut my
wrists here and now. But those are not options. Only you can
do what needs be done." She absently brushed an escaped lock
of black hair from Jacqueline's eyes. "Only you. I am going
up to bed and get some rest. Later today, we will go out and
get you some more clothes." She spun on her heel and left the
Jack, no, *Jacqueline* sat sipping *her* coffee in the eerie
silence. He, dammit, *she* was at a loss about what to do
next. This thinking in the female tense was going to be a
*She* sat there for a little more than an hour, practicing
*her* feminine thinking. Toward the end of *her* mental
recitation period, *she* only had to correct him, blast,
*her*self about every fifth or sixth time. Progress was
progress, *she* supposed. Maybe it would even be good enough
for a start, anyway. There was one problem, though. Maybe it
was a holdover from the way *her* Mother had introduced him,
err, *her* to *her* new self, but one thing was very, very
He/She/Whatever _*hated*_ the name "Jacqueline" and
He/She/Whatever _*always*_ would!
Well, there was not much to be done about it now. Not with
all those records already done. *She* did not know much about
how magic really worked, but *she* did know that changing all
those records and memories had cost *her* mother dearly, and
the strength Mum had expended doing that magic would not
likely be replenished any time soon.
Sighing, *she* decided that it was not a battle worth fighting
and picked up the bag with his, no, make that *her* new
clothes and trudged off to practice dressing.
Five hours later, Laurie, alert and refreshed, came downstairs
where she found her daughter sprawled on the sofa watching the
24-hour news channel. Apart from her ungainly and totally
unladylike posture, Laurie's discerning eyes (and other, less
common senses) could find definite improvements since that
morning. The simple knit sweater and skirt set had been
selected because they would not pose too many challenges for
her daughter who still thought and acted like a son. No
buttons on the "wrong" side, no zippers in the back - just a
simple, loose pullover sweater blouse that draped casually
over the waist of an equally loose, knee length skirt that
zipped up the side. The pantyhose weren't rent from ankle to
thigh with ladders and runs, and the simple black pumps with
only the merest hint of a heel fit perfectly.
Jacqueline had not ventured so far as to try any of the
cosmetics her Mother had carefully selected and arrayed on her
vanity, but she had made a fairly good attempt at taming that
gorgeous hair of hers. She had done a reasonably good job
figuring out how to put on the hair band that pulled the
curling mass away from her face. Of course, that particular
invention was probably the daughter of necessity since seeing
clearly through long hair was annoying at best.
"I can see that deportment and posture will be among our first
lessons." she said aloud. Her voice obviously startled her
child for she jumped and nearly slipped off the couch in her
surprise. "Well, Jacqueline, stand up, please and let me get
a good look at you."
The eyes that met Laurie's were still cold and distant, but
with great deliberation, the body moved to obey her request.
Stage one begins, she thought - sullen, malicious compliance
to any order, intermixed with enough body language to show
just how obnoxious you and obeying you really are. Laurie
moved behind her daughter, as much to gain a moment's respite
from those eyes as to check out the rest of the outfit. "You
need to be more careful with laying out your skirts before you
sit, dear. The back of your skirt is frightfully wrinkled and
crushed from the way you sat upon it, Jacqueline."
The response was not at all what she was expecting and Laurie
was momentarily at a loss for words. "I beg your pardon?"
"I wish to be called Jackie. I detest the name Jacqueline -
it reminds me too much of our confrontation yesterday and last
night and therefore is non-productive - like the possessions I
*used* to love and own. Since I suspect that you won't have
the strength to change the world for me again anytime soon,
Jackie is the best compromise I can come up with."
"I see. That may be difficult for me as Jacqueline was the
name I had chosen for you since you were born. That is really
why you were called Jack. Since I always knew it would be my
duty to bring you to your full powers by exposing you to the
Transformation Spell, you have always been Jacqueline in my
That had been the wrong thing to say and Laurie knew it the
instant she saw her child's face. "I was not born female and
I will not respond to Jacqueline, so get used to calling me
Jackie or perhaps just "hey, you" will do. What is in your
heart is not something I am greatly concerned with at this
point in my life, Mother."
Laurie coughed to choke back the sob. "Very well. Jacqu... I
mean, Jackie. I will try."
The love Jackie still felt for his Mother twisted inside her
own heart and he, dammit again, *she* tried to make it a
little easier for both of them. "It will do you good, Mum, to
have to stop and consider *your* words before you speak or
even think. It will give you an idea of how hard thinking of
myself as *she* and *her* has been and continues to be for me.
Tell you what, we can spell my new call name with a 'cq',
instead of a 'ck'. Jacqui." She spelled the name out aloud.
"How's that for a compromise? Best deal you are going to get
A little bubble of hope rose in Laurie's breast. "Okay." she
whispered and then added. "Sounds fair." She shook off the
emotion. They had much yet to do this day. "So, I will ask
how the dressing up practice went since I can already sense
your effort to think 'girl'. I applaud you progress there, by
the way." You only have about 99.99% of the way yet to go,
but that is further then I expected to find you given the way
you reacted this morning, she thought. "So, are you ready to
go shopping for new clothes? You need skirts, blouses,
dresses, shoes and of course, some lovely knickers and other
undies." she dropped her eyes to Jacqui's legs. "How many of
your pantyhose are left intact?"
A rosy blush crept up her daughter's cheeks. "Ummm. Just
these." Laurie cocked an eyebrow. "They, uhhh, seemed to run
"Those were the industrial strength, heavy weave nylon, dear,
designed specifically *not* to run. I suppose you just tried
to pull them on like trousers?" A hesitant nod was her answer.
"Yes, well, there are tricks I will teach you before you put
on any of the really silky stockings we will buy today. Any
Another, even redder blush and a cough to clear her throat.
"The bra. I am not flexible enough to reach behind me and
latch it while trying to look in the mirror. I finally had to
hook the thing in front and then spin it around behind me."
"Good on you, girl. That works, particularly with everyday
things. Some of the frilly stuff might need a little gentler
hand, but we can work up to those. Other than that, how do
you feel in those clothes?"
"Underdressed. I notice drafts a lot. Very uncomfortable."
Laurie nodded. The answers were honest and were to be
expected. At least Jacqui was talking with her with some
degree of openness again. "All right, then. You will get
used to those feelings. We'll have you turned out to a fair-
thee-well after today and you will have ample opportunity to
get used to skirts and their little foibles and traps."
"What about trousers, jeans? I would like some jeans,
That was a problem. Mentally saying goodbye to their
momentary peace, Laurie answered. "That is not in your best
interest, dear. You already know how to wear pants. You will
learn what it is to be a woman much more quickly if you work
at being an especially feminine woman. You have so much to
learn in a short time. Don't forget, besides your own goals
in this, you will start school again in a few weeks. You will
need a whole range of behaviors at your command to deal with
school as a girl instead of as a boy."
"Just one pair? For knocking about? Won't it seem strange to
my girlfriends if I never wear anything but dresses and
skirts?" Jacqui pleaded. "How about if I promise to always
wear my frilliest bra and knickers when I wear the jeans?"
Pleased that Jacqui had not gotten her back up, Laurie smiled.
"All right, but just one pair. They will be very, very tight
and you will also agree to wear only high heeled shoes when
you wear the jeans, too." That would serve two purposes,
Laurie thought. It was nearly impossible to forget you were a
girl when wearing jeans that were a couple of sizes too small,
and it would get her daughter into real heels more quickly.
"Heels?" Jacqui momentarily bridled, but then deflated.
"Okay, I agree."
"Let's go get ready to leave. Your purse is with mine in the
foyer and your new ID are already in it." Laurie turned toward
the front door.
"Mum?" The name she had not heard without sarcasm in over 48
hours brought her up short. She turned and cocked a brow at
Jacqui. "Two things, first. One, I want to see a doctor - a
real one, not one of your witch cronies. I want advice on
birth control and I don't want you to interfere in any way or
to try to stop me."
Laurie understood where that was coming from. Jacqui was
starting to understand the full erotic potential and demands
of her new body. She was still female because she had been
unable to resist the demands of her new sexuality. Conceiving
a child was not on her agenda, *yet*, and she was trying to
take action to avoid getting caught between some guy and her
own burgeoning hormones.
"All right. We can select one of your choice from the phone
book, completely at random if that will make you feel more
comfortable. However, you should understand that the proper
term for the type of doctor you want is a gynecologist." The
"so-what" look that revelation elicited made Laurie decide to
change the subject. "One other thing, dear. You need to know
something about Transformed women. Whether we use
contraception or not, we get pregnant when we want the child
of the man making love to us."
"I want to see a doctor, Mother, and I want birth control."
Jacqui's tone brooked no further discussion on the issue.
Sighing, Laurie wondered what the girl was thinking.
Obviously, she did not believe her regarding the effectiveness
of the contraceptives. "Very well. We can set up the
appointment right now and go as soon as the doctor can see
you. I can go with you or you can go alone, but you have my
personal word of honor, that I will do nothing to influence or
impede you in any way. And the other thing?" The look of
relief on Jacqui's face was painful to Laurie who was only
just beginning to really understand how thoroughly she had
shattered her only child's faith and trust in her.
"I'd like to get my hair cut. Lots of women have short hair.
I don't want to have to deal with this mop for the rest of my
time as a woman."
Damn, damn, damn! thought Laurie. "Jacqui, could we hold off
on that, please? At least for a little while, until you have
had a chance to learn how to care for your hair? You can
always get it cut, but it will take months and months to grow
it back. I think you should wear it long, just as I think you
should stick to skirts and dresses, but if, after a reasonable
attempt to live with it, you still want to cut it, then I
won't stand in your way."
"I could just hack it off in my room, Mother." the frustration
was back in her daughter's voice.
"Yes, you could. If you get to the point where you are that
unhappy with it, then tell me and we will go straight off to
the beauty parlor. Please, Jacqui, all I am asking is that
you give me a chance, luv." Her eyes were wide with entreaty
as she looked at Jacqui. "Please." She said again.
The pleading in his, *her* mother's voice touched that hurting
core of love inside Jacqui. "All right. I will give it two
weeks, halfway until school opens. That should give you time
to teach me how to deal with it so that it does not get in my
way. If it is still a hassle after that, it goes. Fair
"Fair enough. Now, can we please go? I want to go
**SHOPPING** with my daughter."
"Shopping." There was a world of difference in the way the two
women said the word. "You sure you can't just get everything
mail order? I'd wait."
"Over my dead body, young lady. I am determined to enjoy this
and nothing is going to ruin it for me. Now move that cute
butt and let's go."
A Change of Direction
Laurie gently eased her tired body into the steamy, fragrant
bubbles and all but whimpered with pleasure. The two weeks
since she had fouled up the Transformation of her son Jack
into her daughter Jacqui had been difficult, to say the least.
All the same, there had been a few noteworthy successes.
She was lying in one of them. Jacqui had fallen hopelessly in
love with bubble baths. Quite a departure from the son who
thought that more than two minutes in a shower was wasted
time. Of course, the innate sensuousness and sensuality that
the Transformation imposed on Jacqui had a great deal to do
with that. After that first time, when she had needed to
frog-walk the girl into the tub after their marathon shopping
expedition, Jacqui had practically grown webbed feet. It was
a good thing they each had their own full bathroom or it would
have been shampoo bottles at ten paces and may the more
determined woman get the tub.
After a week of work, she had convinced Jacqui that she could
live with hair longer than the skull hugging bob she'd found
in a fashion magazine. Not that her daughter would not have
looked fantastic in that hairdo. They had ended up
compromising, again. The result was a trim that left enough
hair to reach down her back to her shoulder blades, but that
was easy to brush out in the morning and that tended to stay
out of Jacqui's face.
The trip to the gynecologist had been a revelation to both of
them. Laurie had been dumbfounded to learn that her daughter
was "virgo intacto". That meant that her son had never
enjoyed sexual intercourse with a girl or woman. By its very
nature, the Transformation Spell Transformed virgins into
virgins. Well, that was one experience that Jacqui had to
look forward to that Laurie had no personal knowledge of -
Larry had not been a virgin when his Mother had Transformed
him, so Laurel had not possessed an intact hymen at her
"birth". That could pose problems later on. She would need
to discuss this with the others. For Jacqui, the unhappy
discovery that "Dr. M. L. Sullivan" was a woman whose name was
Michelle Louise had been daunting. It was something of a hoot
to try and convince the girl that, given that she was now a
girl, undressing and being intimately examined by a female was
*supposed* to be less embarrassing for her. Still, it had all
gone very well, and if Jacqui had asked questions more suited
to a 12 year old just entering puberty than to a fully
developed and nearly mature 18 year old, the doctor had done
nothing to make her daughter more uncomfortable than she
already was. All in all, the doctor did Jacqui a lot of good.
Laurie would remember her for the others who had sons due for
The brassieres had been a minor problem. Jacqui hadn't
understood how to adjust them and had finally been forced to
come to her Mother for help because her shoulders and breasts
hurt so badly at the end of the day. The misadjusted bras
were pulling her bosoms in directions nature had not intended
and were not distributing the weight properly. Besides, she
had adjusted the back straps much too tightly in an effort to
use the bras to hide her nicely rounded breasts. A few
adjustments and realignments, along with a little motherly
advice had solved those problems. And it wasn't as if the
girl was grossly huge, anyway. She had a lovely figure, curvy
where she should be, slender where she should be. If only
she'd appreciate it, Laurie mourned.
Cosmetics were another non-winner. The memory of Jacqui's
furious tantrum at home after Laurie had sprung an
unannounced, full up make-over on the girl during that visit
to the beauty parlor still made Laurie shudder. That blowup
had surprised Laurie almost as much as Jacqui's reaction to
the Transformation. She had looked so lovely when the beauty
consultant had finished with her, but Jacqui had not uttered a
single word from the time the beautician had arrived at
Jacqui's chair until they arrived home at the end of the day.
She had, however, more than made up for that silence once she
had gotten her Mother behind closed doors.
Laurie had finally resorted to a little magical probing to
figure out what had provoked so violent a reaction. It would
have been funny had it not been so sad. Jacqui's still male
mind had been turned on by Jacqui's beautifully made up face,
and *he* (and it most definitely was the part of Jacqui that
was still *he*) had not been able to handle it. And like most
males when faced with something they can't handle, Jacqui had
gone livid and had lashed out at the 'cause' of her problem.
That had cost them a couple of days of seething tension.
Worse, it had ended the shaky truce between them, as well.
Jacqui cooperated with Laurie's lessons, but otherwise spent
as little time as possible in her Mother's presence.
Fortunately, things were settling down once again.
With Jacqui's somewhat grudging cooperation, other, important
lessons were proceeding apace. Jacqui was trying manfully
(again the correct term) to be womanly. If the tone of
Laurie's teaching was more appropriate to a Victorian girl
still in the schoolroom than to a modern woman of the
nineties, well, Laurie thought, that served a purpose, too.
The very exaggerated gestures and movements she had drilled
into him were too theatrical to be of any use in a modern
setting, but what was left over, when Jacqui wasn't "acting
out for teacher", was nicely feminine.
In the course of these lessons, Jacqui had walked back and
forth across the living room in her new high heels, balancing
Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_ on her head. She had
learned to sit demurely, with her back straight and her knees
together thanks to a few judiciously placed straps for
reminders. She'd learned to pour and serve tea with the
dexterity and aristocratic snobbery of a Regency Dame. She'd
read, under duress, romance novels which she was subsequently
quizzed on about the heroine's feelings and motivations.
Her forays into public had gotten a bit easier as she'd become
more used to her new skin and to the clothing that Laurie
insisted she wear. Jacqui looked particularly good in Laura
Ashley, but then, most good looking young women did.
The more intimate lessons had been the hardest ones to get
across to her only semi-willing pupil. Teaching her daughter
the fundamentals of feminine hygiene had not been a fun
experience for either of them. Jacqui had twice stormed off
in a humiliated huff during those lessons. Only the fear for
her daughter's health had spurred Laurie to finish those
lessons. An internal infection might damage Jacqui's
reproductive system which would put paid to any chance she
might have of undoing the Transformation. Laurie had finally
resorted to a minor touch of magic in order to convince Jacqui
of the need for these female ablutions. Amazing what a simple
urinary tract infection or just a taste of a vaginal yeast
infection had done to help her daughter understand the
ramifications of not keeping the inner woman clean.
By tacit agreement, they'd left the twin issues of sex and
sexuality alone. Although Jacqui would have to face them
when she went back to school, there were ways of avoiding the
issue for a short while longer. For one thing, it was going
to take real effort to get the girl to go out with a boy,
period, and for another, her child went to school for two
things, learning and sports. She would have only the most
innocent of contact with boys for the time being. Laurie was
entirely happy to let that particular hurdle stay in the
future. Jacqui needed more time to learn better the scope of
her new body's needs and demands. At the same time, she
needed to learn some control of her physical reactions, as
The last thing Laurie wanted was for Jacqui to slip up with
some guy and get herself pregnant. It was simply too soon.
Getting pregnant now, without the fundamental grounding in
magic necessary to finish learning the Transformation Spell,
wouldn't do her daughter any good. Jacqui simply had too much
to learn before she could begin to wield the power she would
need to be male again. Telling her that she had to get
pregnant once was a conversation Laurie wished she could
avoid. Having to tell her that her first pregnancy wasn't
enough did not bear thinking about.
Secondly, and just as importantly, she took Jacqui's threat of
abortion and self-sterilization seriously. Laurie knew the
rigidity of her son's will (and his sheer pigheaded
stubbornness) and really feared what *he* might do before her
*daughter* had finished sorting herself out. She only hoped
that Jacqui took her own threat of using mind control magic
just as seriously. Otherwise, they were in deep trouble
because the threat was hollow. She would not, could not do
that to Jacqui, because that would be exactly what Jacqui had
accused her of doing - destroying the last of her child's
Laurie needed to talk to her Sisters. Some decisions had to
made quickly and she needed their wise counsel. Maybe
tomorrow she'd call Bronwyn.
The chill of the rapidly cooling bath water pulled Laurie back
from her reveries. Quickly, she washed off and got out of the
tub. Her mind would not let her rest and she found herself
going downstairs to get a book. On her return, she heard a
muffled sound coming from inside Jacqui's room. She was about
to discount it as her imagination, when she heard it again.
It was a moan of pain. Tiptoeing over to the door, she peeked
in. There on the bed, laying on her side and huddled into a
fetal position about her pillow, was her daughter.
Laurie moved into the room and settled on to the bed beside
Jacqui. She looked up from her pillow, misery clouding her
eyes. "Mum, I'm sick. I think I have that flu bug again,
like I caught last winter. I feel so nauseous and my lower
belly is in knots." Jacqui was in such discomfort, she forgot
she was still cross with Laurie.
Laurie had been expecting this. She had described this
experience vividly in the diary she'd taken to keeping after
her own Transformation. It was right on time, she mused, and
evidently just as rough as her own first time. Gently, she
put a soothing hand on her daughter's sweaty forehead and
massaged her temples. "It's all right, luv." she whispered.
"It's not the flu. It is just the first arrival of your
monthly. To be sure, this is one of the less attractive
aspects of your new station in life, but it is a miracle,
none-the-less. You are a woman, now, Jacqui. You are
starting your first menses."
Jacqui pulled her covers over her head. "Oh, god, I had
completely forgotten that part of this." Another groan
signaled the onset of another round of cramps. "I don't know
how I will ever forgive you for this, Mother."
Although the words were sharp, the tone was not. It reminded
Laurie of the gentle male/female bantering she used to engage
in regularly with her son. It actually warmed her. "I know
just how you feel, luv. I said much the same thing to my own
Mum about this time after she Transformed me." Reaching down,
she pulled the covers off her daughter and admired for a brief
instant the lovely nightgown she wore. Jacqui had steadfastly
refused to model her nightwear for her Mother, giving Laurie
cause to wonder if she was sleeping in the buff. Evidently
not, she thought happily. "Come along with me, Miss. Time
for your first lesson on the care of the menstruating female.
You don't want to get that lovely night shift all messy, now
The technical aspects of inserting the tampon had been acutely
embarrassing for her child. Sitting on the toilet, splaying
her legs wide so that her *Mother* could demonstrate the
process, had nearly reduced the girl to tears. Laurie had
tried to make things easier for them both by injecting some
humor into the proceedings, but Jacqui's expression told her
that there was *nothing* funny about it. Maybe she'd look
back on it, someday, and see the humorous bits in it, Laurie
Once the immediate problem of leakage was under control,
Laurie had put Jacqui back to bed and given her a gentle back
massage. Her knowledgeable fingers soon relaxed the tight
muscles of Jacqui's abdomen and her daughter fell asleep
almost immediately thereafter.
A quick, magic-assisted examination of her daughter proved
that all of Jacqui's internal organs were working and fully
female. Phase one was complete. Her daughter was a fertile,
sexually mature female. She could now begin learning magic.
Her body had just taken the critical first step toward
reversing the Transformation she hated so very much. The next
step would come in ten to sixteen days when she ovulated for
the first time.
Quietly pleased, Laurie tiptoed back to her room and went to
A Change of Direction
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
This is *not*, underline that, please, *not* a diary and I am
not going to open it the way I have read that teenage girls do
by writing "Dear Diary" on every damned page. This is a
journal, a record of my experiences as I work to become my own
man again. It is also a place where I can vent in privacy.
Actually, the whole thing is Mum's idea and she has promised
some big deal oath that she will not use her magic to
"eavesdrop" on any thoughts I express in here.
It is a good idea, actually, although I refuse to tell her
that. God knows, I need some place to discuss things or I
will go crazy. I won't go to Mum and I can't go to anyone
else. So this is the place where I will talk with myself.
And with Jack.
I know I promised Mum I would work to think of myself as the
female I give every outward appearance of being. And I have.
Mostly. But Jack is still a part of me, and he still needs
expression. At least, he does if I/he/we are ever going to
get through this with my/his/our sanity intact.
Anyway, on with the writing....
18 Days A. T. (*that's *A*fter *T*ransformation. I need a
time scale. I would rather count "days to Re-Transformation",
but I can't. Mum doesn't even know when that will happen. Or
if she does know, she is not telling me. Which would mean
that she is lying to me, again, and I really don't think she
is - this time. I think I believe her. At least, I believe
she does not know *that* bit of information, anyway.)
I have just been assured that my *first* period is now
officially over. I hereby apologize to all the girls I
snickered at in the eighth grade when they turned green and
had to go to the school nurse every month or so. I also
understand the true meaning of "being on the rag". It has
nothing to do with the various cloth implements intended to
collect the discharge and thus keep our womanly parts and
clothes from becoming a bloody mess. No, the phrase *must*
derive from what the whole damned process feels like,
particularly when it first hits. I can only liken it to
having somebody reach inside you, grab hold of your guts with
both hands and then try to wring them out like a wet dish rag.
This is neither "wonderful" nor "glorious", Mum.
Jack went into deep hiding during the whole four days, the
damned coward. Left me alone to face the thing all by myself.
Well, not quite. Mum was there for me. She was actually
pretty great about the whole thing. I did not appreciate her
attempts at humor. On reflection that was more because of a
petty desire to pout and sulk then the lameness of her jokes.
Some weren't *too* bad. Her back massages were *blissful*
and the food she fixed for me was bland but it stayed down
when I did not think anything I ate would.
It's a strange thing and I don't know for sure, nor will I ask
her, but I think she did something magical to blunt the worst
of it that first night. Don't know why, just a feeling
niggling in my head. Her hands felt sort of warm on my back,
only it wasn't the hot kind of warm. Can't describe it,
really, you just had to be there.
Taking birth control pills every day sure seems strange. Not
that I want to be with guys *that* way, but if I have learned
nothing else about this new body of mine, I have found out
that I am very easily aroused, and once I am turned on, I
*need* sexual relief. Since I am not sure that my mental
reservations about guys will preclude some male from getting
me sexually excited, I really don't want to take the chance.
What is that old line about what you call women who rely upon
contraceptive methods other than chemical or shields? They
call them Mothers. And since I am a virgin, that leaves only
the chemical method for me. Particularly since I am *not*
going to trust a man to protect me.
What am I saying??!? A man? Me? Damn.
Mom gave me some line about only getting pregnant if I want
the baby of the man who is inside me. What a crock! Does she
*want* me to get pregnant? If I believe her, all I have to do
is not want babies and I am home free. Somehow, I don't think
Which leads me to another, scarier line of thought. What the
hell is all this learning I am going to find so "bloody
awful"??!? I know Mom had me, and I *do* know where babies
come from. I don't think I am going to be permitted to avoid
becoming "fully female" with a man, but I hope it is not
something really sick, like taking a man in my mouth or
putting out to two guys at once.
Naw, whatever Mom is, she is not that nasty. More likely, I
am going to have to make out with a guy and enjoy it. Yeah,
something like that. She is just not going to happy until I
get thoroughly screwed and love it.
Well, that is it for today. Not a bad first start, and I *do*
feel a little better. Jack feels a bit ashamed at my
discussion of his cowardice, but he'll get over it. For now,
I have a date with a hot tub full of bubbles. Another thing
about this monthly affirmation of my new femininity. It makes
you smell just a bit off, particularly up close, and a shower
just doesn't get the job done.
Just wish I had something to read other than fashion magazines
and romance novels. Don't girls read Sports Illustrated? Oh
well. Till next time.
End Journal Entry.
"Well?" Laurie asked the slender, ethereally pretty woman
seated across the kitchen table from her.
The woman smiled. "If you wanted to know that badly, Laurel,
you should not have taken an oath sacred to the Goddess not to
peak." she chided gently.
Laurie grimaced. "She needed the outlet so much, Bronwyn. She
won't talk to me and she doesn't have anyone else. She would
not have started the journal if I had not promised not to
"You know that asking me to do your peaking for you is
precisely the type of half truth that got you into this
trouble to begin with. However, in this case, I must agree
with you. She needs to express her feelings and you need know
how she is feeling." Bronwyn's faintly blue eyes became
unfocused, then once again cleared. She looked at Laurie,
surprise arching her brows. "Did you use the healing arts to
ease her menses, Laurel?"
Laurie's eyes went wide and then she blushed at having been
caught. "Yes, High Priestess. She was in such discomfort and
I felt so guilty at that moment. When I massaged her, I took
just a bit of her pain into myself - not much," she hastened
to add in self justification, "Just enough that she could drop
off to sleep.
"Yes, well, as you are aware, we don't normally do that for a
new Sister's First Flow, but I can understand your dilemma. I
will not gainsay your decision, Laurel. You must do as you
think best in this sadly unique Transformation Transition.
However, that is not the point. What is important is that
your daughter sensed the use of the power. She speculated
that you did something magical and even described it quite
accurately. I don't think I have ever heard of a novice
Sister being quite so sensitive or aware of the Goddess power
so soon after Transformation before."
"I am not surprised, Bronwyn. Everything has pointed to her
being very special, and very powerful. Stubble it! What did I
do incorrectly? Why is she fighting this so hard? How can
she possibly want to ... to go back?" Tears welled in Laurie's
"Laurel." Bronwyn's voice was velvet steel. "You did nothing
wrong. The Sisterhood has reviewed the Transformation and
everything leading up to it. We have found nothing wrong.
Your child is, as you said, unique and very special.
Unfortunately, this is sometimes what happens when you deal
with unique cases. You cannot anticipate things that are
outside your experiences. So, while that makes her very
important to us because of the power she possesses, some other
facet that makes her unique is likely working against us."
Laurie's tension eased under her friend's soothing approval.
"You are sure?" she asked tremulously. At Bronwyn's emphatic
nod, she sighed, and relaxed a bit more. "You know? I do
think I know at least one of the problems. Initially
pretending that the Transformation was a fanciful lark on my
part was a mistake. I know that it worked with me when my
Mother Transformed me. I just saw the entire thing as a great
adventure. However, that ploy failed miserably with my own
daughter. At the time, she saw my lighthearted attitude as a
cruel, mean-spirited thing. She continues to think of it that
"Would you have denied her the re-Transformation back to her
male identity had she requested it before you completed the
final spell? The spell that now requires her to effect her own
change back to Jack?" Bronwyn's tone was one of only mild
interest, as if she already knew the answer.
Laurie's eyes went wide in outraged shock. "Of course NOT!
Not if she had been that repulsed by the change, or if she had
maintained sufficient self control in the face of her new
feminine needs and responses to request the re-Transformation.
That would have been proof that Jack's masculine self image
was simply too strongly ingrained for her to have any success
making the adjustments she would need to master the Power
herself. That *would* have been cruel because without her own
Power, my spell would then have been both permanent and
"Then your only error was one that the Sisterhood approved -
the treating of the initial Transformation period in a fun and
playful manner. We *expected* it to be a fun experience for
her because that's how it was for all of us. If you will
recall, *that* was why we chose the Scully identity for the
first stage of the Transformation - because everything we knew
about your son indicated that he would have fun "being" her.
Unfortunately, although Jack reacted as we expected when you
put the question for "more time" to her, she did not react as
we anticipated when she was faced the totality of what she had
inadvertently agreed to accept. The real sadness of this is
that as we prepare for a probable conflict in which we will
desperately need the power she could wield, we will likely not
be able to count upon having it. *BUT*, I will say this
again, *none* of that is your fault."
A teary smile curved Laurie's lips. "I understand, High
Priestess. Thank you for telling me that. I have felt very .
. . inadequate of late."
"Nonsense. Nothing about you is in any way inadequate."
Bronwyn flicked the word away with a careless gesture of her
hands. "One other thing, Laurel. Jack is in the journal,
too, but in the third person. I find that very positive. She
is trying to acclimate. She also berates his ..... desertion
of her during her recent trial." A wickedly mirthful grin lit
Bronwyn's face showing how beautiful she was. "My, my, my.
She does have quite an imagination." Mirth twinkled in
Bronwyn's eyes. "She is discussing what her lessons may
require of her. Very inventive, and at least partially
"On another matter," Bronwyn continued quickly, "she did not
believe you when you told her about the ineffectiveness of
birth control. I even infer that she took it just the other
way, that you were telling her she could stop conception."
Laurie's eyes closed on her misery. "Goddess, what a mess.
In that case, we are going to have to keep her on a very short
leash until she is advanced enough to be taught the
Transformation spell. It is almost impossible for one of us
*not* to think positively about conception when we are making
love with a man we care about. That is why we usually stick
to relationships with other Sisters. Otherwise we would be
"Sadly true. Although, being with child is a lovely feeling.
It is too bad that as members of the Sisterhood, we tend to
link making love and making babies very closely in our minds
"At least *you* can avoid that by maintaining some separation
when you are making love with a man. Some of us can't."
"True, which is probably a facet of your healing gifts.
Still, keeping that mental shield means that the act of making
love is not nearly as fulfilling as it should be." Bronwyn
frowned a bit before continuing. "Anything else?"
Laurie hesitated, but decided to press on. "Yes, while we are
on the subject of sex. Jacqui's drives are already very
strong. She masturbates every night. My own sex drive
following Transformation was very demanding and I think hers
will be even stronger. Like most new Sisters, I had my Mother
to help me cope with the hunger until I was ready to deal with
men. She never took, Bronwyn, only gave until I was ready to
return the gift. Jacqui, however, has not forgiven me and she
won't want that kind of relationship with me. It would be
abusive of me even to try right now, but we can't let her fall
prey to her body's needs and end up getting pregnant too soon.
I don't want to find out the hard way she was serious in her
threat. If she wants to be a man again that badly, I have to
help her, but you are well aware of what terminating a fetus
"Yes, I know. You really believe that is a possibility?" At
Laurie's shaky nod, Bronwyn frowned thoughtfully. "Hmmm, Yes,
I see you do. All right, I agree we need to provide her with
an outlet. Someone to whom she can relate and to whom she
can confide her little troubles would also be useful. She
starts school when? In a fortnight? All right, I will
arrange for her to meet someone at school who will provide her
with friendship, advice and sexual relief."
"A member of the Sisterhood?" Laurie asked. At Bronwyn's
emphatic nod, Laurie sighed resignedly, wishing she could be
the one to share that first time and those other things with
her daughter. That was just another of her little Mother's
dreams that had to be foresworn for the good of her daughter.
"Please, Bronwyn, make sure it is someone special for her.
The answering smile was both gently reassuring and wickedly
feline. "Why, Laurel." The Power glowed about Bronwyn and
her form blurred momentarily. The glow died just as suddenly,
and where Bronwyn had been but an instant before, sat a
teenaged girl - a shorter, blonder and very well developed
teenaged girl. The face and body were pure adolescent male
wet dream brought to life, but the smile was still Bronwyn's.
"I think your daughter is still viewing other women through
your son's libido, darling. I believe this form is
sufficiently lacking in subtlety to gain her and *his*
Shocked, Laurie gasped. "You? You are going to go to school
and watch over Jacqui??"
"Laurel, darling. I am going to do *much* more than just
watch. I am going to wear her out, and then, I will give her
a little, less-than-sisterly guidance about the pitfalls and
dangers of being a beautiful woman in man's world. Hopefully,
I will be in a position to control her first contacts with men
and keep her out of too much trouble. It will also give me a
chance to figure out how or if we can soften her attitude
toward the Transformation. If she is going to be as powerful
as we both think she can be, we will need her willing
assistance in the coming struggle." Anticipation, then hunger
gleamed in her lovely eyes. "Now, since your daughter is
enjoying her little soak, how about you and I give the new
equipment," she gave her newly expansive bosom a little shimmy
that made one of Laurie's mouths dry and the other very wet,
"a test drive?" She held out her hand to Laurie who happily
took it in hers and then led the way to her bedroom.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
Journal Entry: 25 days A. T.
Mum's own monthly visitor arrived today. From the look of
her, that arrival was not gentle, either. I wonder that I
never noticed how difficult these times are for her before
this. Takes one to know one? I guess.
I really wanted to be glad she was feeling so vile. I wanted
to enjoy the fact that she was suffering, just like I had
suffered because of what she had done to me. I *really*
wanted to stand outside her door and yell something like
"Payback is hell, isn't it?".
Only, I couldn't. I hated that she did not feel well. Jack
is a bit upset with me for going soft on him, but I can't help
it. Besides, his opinion doesn't count, the coward. I
wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.
And besides, she still is my Mum.
Anyway, I went into her room tonight and did the same things
for her that she did for me - herbal tea and a back rub. She
has nice skin - really soft and nice to touch. Is my skin like
that now? She is so much lighter in skin color than I am.
Anyway, it seemed to help. She went to sleep soon after I
started. Hope she feels better tomorrow. I don't feel so
good myself just now. I wonder if I am going to be irregular
about these things. I feel like I am about to have another
period, myself. Yuck.
End Journal Entry.
"Hello?" the calm voice came over the phone line.
"Bronwyn? This is Laurie. You will not believe this."
Laurie's voice was a flood of excited babbling.
"Calm down, Laurel. Tell me what's wrong!"
Laurie took a deep breath and forced herself to speak slowly.
"Nothing is wrong, Bronnie. It's amazing, but nothing bad. I
started my monthly last night and Jacqui helped me."
"Oh? So she is softening toward you?"
"No, no... I mean, well, maybe, but that is not what I mean.
She *helped* me, like I did her. She used magic to share my
discomfort and reduced the intensity of it so I could fall
sleep. I fell asleep before I could stop myself. I think she
did that, too."
"Now, Laurel. You know she can't possibly do that without
"Bronwyn, you are the High Priestess and the most powerful of
us all, but I am the Chief Healer. I know the feel of a
healer's touch on me. I did not do it. You know as well as I
that the healing art only works on others. Somehow, she
learned by feeling me do it to her and she did it for me
without realizing what she did. I know the signs and this
morning, she was suffering from post healing fatigue symptoms.
She had shared my cramps and had not slept well because of
"Incredible. So advanced for one yet untrained. We will have
to watch her even more carefully. I've never heard of a
novice learning independently like that, but she evidently
"Do you know how long I had to work with my own Mother before
I could begin to match what she unthinkingly accomplished last
night?" Laurie interjected, somewhat indignantly.
"Now there's a scary thought, my dear. If the mere act of
using magic on her in some way "teaches" her enough to begin
using it herself, then we must be extremely cautious what
magic she is exposed to and when she is exposed to it.
Goddess, but that takes many options out of our hands. Even
the mildest manipulation and influence spells are out of the
question for the time being. I don't want an untrained novice
poking about people's heads without even realizing she is
"Bronwyn? What about the Transformation Spell? She was
definitely exposed to that magic, too. The Sisterhood could
be endangered if the entire Senior Class at her school
suddenly all turn into females."
The phone went silent for a moment. "Good point. I will have
to be sure I am there with her. It may not be a problem since
she was exposed to that spell when she was still a male and
therefore incapable of wielding the power, but until we are
sure of that, we need to be on guard against it. We can only
hope that this trick is a manifestation of her incredible
potential now that she is female. Laurel? You had better
start her training." the voice paused and then added
"Now??" Laurie was aghast. "But, we agreed to give her a few
months to settle in before starting to teach her any real
"That was before she taught herself. Unfortunately, she
probably does not know how she is doing it. She may not even
realize that she *is* doing it. You know as well as I the
dangers an adept faces once a healing linkage is joined. She
has to learn how to control the establishment of a link and
she has to understand the inherent risks."
"You are right, of course. I will use the remainder of my
monthly as the hook. I will start tonight before bedtime.
You realize it will be a time before she can safely do
anything on her own?"
"Healing is not the focus of my talent, but I know how
difficult it can be to master. In any case, I should be able
to block her if she does start to do something at school. I
have already arranged to be in all of her classes. By the
second day, we should be famous chums. Now, if I am going to
be spending the next few months reliving my high school years,
I have some things that require my attention first. I suspect
I will be seeing you soon, Laurel. Bye." The phone clicked
off and a dial tone began to buzz in Laurie's ear.
Laurie carefully hung up the phone. What had she done?
Obviously, her daughter was unique in the recorded memory of
the Sisterhood. Whether that would be a good thing, a neutral
thing or a bad thing, only the fullness of time would tell.
"So," said the tall, dark haired man seated behind the desk.
"She is of the Sisterhood, and her son is now her daughter?"
The man seated across from him looked at the spiral notebook
in his hands and then looked up to speak. "Yes, High Leader.
Our data scans of the Social Security records have shown that,
about two weeks ago, the Social Security Number of one John
David Donovan was suddenly associated with Jacqueline Daphne
Donovan. Subsequent checks of other personal records for John
Donovan are nonexistent. To date, only your special,
magically sealed records indicate such a person ever existed."
"Excellent. The Dark One is with us. For the first time in
the history of the Brotherhood, we have identified a
completely untrained Sister. We will play this game
carefully. I want a totally invisible, completely discreet
surveillance on both of the Donovan," and here the man sneered
and spat out the word, "women. We will bide our time and
strike when we have what we need to rid this planet of the
Sisterhood and their puling Goddess once and for all. Now go
and do as I ordered."
The other man made a toadying bow and all but ran from the
room. Power, thought the man still seated at his desk, was
the only thing worth having in this life. And soon, his would
be total. Thanks to the power of computers and the power of
A Change of Direction
Jacqui pulled her car into a parking slot set aside for
seniors. Driving to school was a treat. Last year, when Jack
had gotten his driver's license, Mum had insisted that he
continue to take the bus with the rest of the students on his
street. That had put a crimp in his plans. Offering rides
home on rainy days was an easy way to get on a girl's friendly
Jacqui did not plan to offer boys rides home anytime soon. As
a one-time boy, Jacqui was well aware of the dangers inherent
in that act of thoughtless kindness. Boys always tended to
misinterpret such offers from girls. Jack certainly would
have. One of them might decide she was coming on to him and
try to take advantage of the situation and her. Whatever else
might happen to her this year, boys were not on her agenda.
Not like that, they weren't.
The dashboard clock told her it was time to move or she'd be
late for class. She got out of the car, trying to remember to
move the way her Mother had been drilling her to move over the
past weeks. One thing about the one inch heeled shoes Mum had
laid out for her this morning - they cut down her stride so
she walked more like a girl. She still tended to stride out
like a boy when she forgot herself. She gathered her books
and hurried off as quickly as she could in those damn shoes.
She entered the building with the last of the stragglers and
came up short as the enormity of it all hit her once more.
She had been coming to this school all her life and now, it
was different. It seemed bigger, probably because she was now
five feet six inches tall instead of six feet and four inches.
Anxiety, fear, and uncertainty all welled up and threatened to
overwhelm her. She stopped dead in her tracks to try and
Something crashed into her from behind and sent her sprawling
onto the floor. Books and pencils went everywhere.
"Hey! Why'd you stop in the middle of the floor?" Came a
young, edgy female voice from above her. "Are you all right?
You're not hurt, are you? I am really sorry, but you stopped
right in front of me and I was rushing to not be late and..."
"I am all right." Jacqui forced out, trying to stem the
flood. She pushed herself to her feet and went over to where
her things had ended up on the floor. Her assailant was right
beside her. She knelt down to start scooping up pencils as
Jacqui bent over to pick up her books.
"Hey!" came the loud stage whisper. "Unless you want to show
off those pretty panties to the boys, get down on your knees
to do that. That skirt is too short for bending over like
A fiery flush rose up Jacqui's face as she quickly dropped
down and then spun around so her butt was to the wall.
"Thanks. The skirt is my Mom's idea. I haven't worn them
much, but she says it is time to learn to be more of lady."
"No problem." A grin lit the gamine face. "Hey, we have to
hurry. Who's your home room teacher?"
"Hey, me, too. C'mon, I don't want detention the first day.
Not by accident anyway." This time the smile was positively
devilish, and Jacqui was quite enchanted.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
31 Days A. T.
Jacqui's First Day at School. I let Mum take pictures for the
special album I know she is doing on me. All things being
what they are, it was not bad. I managed to make it through
the entire day without even *once* trying to walk into the
boy's rest room. I consider that a significant victory. I
did miss seeing urinals, though, and it did take me a couple
of minutes to figure out what that coin operated dispenser
next to the door in the girl's room was for. Well, I may need
tampons now, but I am damned if I am going to buy them at
school. I put three of them in the bottom of my purse when I
got home today.
Academics look okay. I was a little worried that my brains had
changed along with my body, but I still like math and science.
I am glad, too, because I was really looking forward to those
Advanced Placement courses in Calculus and Physics. I
probably would have screamed if I had arrived at school to
find out I was enrolled in Home Ec or Family Life. Thanks,
Mum, I needed that.
Gym was a revelation. We played around for a while with a
basketball. God, that was depressing. The ball feels
heavier, the hoop looks higher, I am a whole lot slower and my
coordination just stinks. My shots fell short and moves that
should have been graceful nearly took me off my feet because
my boobs did not want to change direction with the rest of me.
All that aside, I was still better than any of the other girls
in the class. Ms. Williams, the gym teacher who also coaches
the Girls' Basketball Team, asked me if I was going to try out
for the team this year instead of cheerleading. I don't know
what Mum will say about that, but I am considering it. I
don't really want to be a cheerleader.
Crowded into a tiny locker room with 25 girls who were
changing into or out of their gym clothes, was wild. Jack
went nuts. There he was, in the middle of your basic male
fantasy, surrounded by wall to wall, naked and near naked T&A,
and all that happened was my nipples got hard and my crotch
got wet. It will make for very nice memories tonight when the
lights go out, though. Wait for it, Jack.
It does make me wonder, a little, how other "real" girls feel
about their bodies in that kind of situation. How do they
feel about themselves and each other? I mean, guys in a
locker room are always checking each other out. Who has the
biggest penis, who has hair on their balls, who has "scored" -
things like that. I know what *I* was thinking about in that
girl's locker room and I don't think those thoughts were
shared by very many of the "real" girls in there.
Mostly, I felt really nervous. Would I make some stupidly
male remark more appropriate to a boys' locker room? I know I
turned away from the group when I buttoned my blouse. Not
because I was shy, but because I have not yet gotten the hang
of reaching for the buttons on the correct side. I don't know
how observant women are about such things, but after Mum's
intensive "Girl Basics Course", I am very conscious of such
little habits. I saw the other girls do it without any
thought at all. I did not want them to see me fumble doing it
and wonder why.
Oh, and only four of the girls were wearing skirts. I am
going to keep track. I want some pants that do not feel like
a straight jacket!
Finally, I ran into this girl, or rather, she ran into me.
Bonnie or something is her name. She is new to the area and
she is drop dead gorgeous. She had Jack's mental tongue
hanging out. She is shorter than me, with blond hair, big
blue eyes and even bigger... well, let's just say what she
possesses a wonderfully large and shapely mammary development
that owes nothing to any woman's foundation garment. Another
nice memory from the locker room that I will put to good use
later in my bed. She seems to be quite a chatterbox, but she
is also pretty nice. Once she found out I was not used to
wearing a short skirt, she stuck with me all day and gave me
helpful little hints when I needed them. She is in all my
I think I may have made a friend. That makes this whole mess
all a little less scary.
You know, I think that is why I am still upset with Mum. This
is all so darned scary. Nothing is the way it is supposed to
be. I should not be deciding whether to be a basketball
player or a cheerleader. I should be playing ball and dating
a cheerleader. Look up a couple of paragraphs. I don't even
like writing the words "my vagina" or "my pussy" on paper so I
wrote "my crotch", instead, but that does not alter the fact
that I have one - I really, truly have a vagina and
everything else that goes with that.
I am completely out of step with everything that used to be my
It is like I was a blind man (ok, blind woman) and someone
came into my house and moved all my furniture around. I know
I am still home, but I keep bumping into things that aren't
quite where or what they should be. And I don't even have a
cane to wave in front of me as I walk along so I have to bang
my shins into everything.
I guess I am just afraid.
End Journal Entry
"You did not tell me she was a bloody mathematical and
scientific genius, Laurel." Absolute disgust tinged every
syllable. "Do you know how hard I am going to have to work to
keep from being academically removed from all those courses I
so blithely signed up for?"
"Not your favorite things, Bronwyn?" there was a suppressed
giggle in Laurie's voice.
"No! I barely made it through geometry when I was in high
school and I swore, then and there, that I would never touch a
math book again. I see math symbols and I get hot flashes.
Don't you dare laugh, blast it!"
A coughing sound punctuated Laurie's attempt not to laugh.
Bronwyn glared at her. She had arrived earlier, wearing her
own body, for a little chat with Jacqui's Mom. "Well, you did
not ask before you offered yourself for the job. Why don't
you just eavesdrop on Jacqui's public mind during tests? She
always got straight A's. Miss enough of the questions not to
get yourselves accused of cheating, but still pass easily."
Bronwyn grimaced. "I will have to, I think. Anyway, my real
purpose for coming here as Bronwyn is to discuss a couple of
observations. First, I am beginning to question the wisdom of
her ultra-feminine wardrobe. She does not deal with it well
and I am afraid it may make her withdraw. If she doesn't
connect with the other kids in her class because she is so
self conscious, she will never develop any real female
Laurie closed her eyes in frustration. "It was a deviation
from what my Mother did with me. She let me find my own way,
fashion wise, after she Transformed me. However, I had
already finished high school and had time to learn to deal
with all the little mannerisms and restrictions of women's
clothing. In Jacqui's case, I had my promise to help her
change back as quickly as possible to consider. I thought
having her dress very femininely, very strikingly would sort
of be like shock therapy for her. That it would get her in
the proper frame of mind about her new body much more quickly.
The alternative was to let her live in sweaters, T-shirts and
jeans at school, because she would not know anything about how
to live in women's clothing by the time school started."
"Too little time," Bronwyn mused. "She simply did not have
any time alone with herself after the Transformation."
"You will recall, Bronwyn, that the issue of timing was
discussed, somewhat heatedly. The alternative we considered
was to wait until after Jack had finished high school. I was
worried that he would not have enough experience in his female
identity to feel comfortable at school, but in the end, the
general concern about the imminence of the coming conflict won
out. We decided to Transform him as soon as possible so that
Jacqui would be ready to join us as soon as possible."
Bronwyn frowned, considering. "Well, that is 20-20 hindsight,
now. I don't know if waiting would have made things any
better. I could wish, however, that she had more time in her
Transformed situation before she had to face her new peers.
She is *very* self conscious about her looks, and she has to
*think* about even the most casual movement. We are going to
have to watch this, Laurie, and adjust her wardrobe if things
don't turn around for her." Laurie wearily nodded her
agreement. "I am not saying your decision was wrong, luv,
only that we need to be ready to respond if she continues to
be so uncomfortable or if she shows signs of withdrawing
further into herself."
Bronwyn took a sip of her drink before continuing. "My other
mission may help preclude that, too. After watching her today
in gym class, I think you need to get a basketball hoop put up
here so that Jacqui can practice. I don't think the
cheerleader thing is going to fly. She is not going to
acclimate quickly enough to be able to fit in with those young
women in that environment. I doubt she will even make the
squad, no matter what influence we may try to help her. On the
other hand, playing on the basketball team will still give her
the opportunity to interact with other girls, but in
situations that her still changing instincts can deal with
from her previous experiences as an athlete. It would also
give her something she can use to relieve stress. A couple of
times today she got so wired I gave her a little mental nudge
to relax her."
Laurie sighed. "Okay. When the Sisterhood discussed the
specifics of her Transformation, we decided that it would be
best to give her a clean break with that part of her life.
That was the reason we opted for the cheerleading thing, to
fill in the empty spot in her life and to give her a social
standing with the other girls at the school."
Bronwyn nodded. "I remember, but at the time, we could not
have anticipated the situation we are forced to deal with now.
She needs something familiar to give her back some mental
balance, and to help center her."
Laurie agreed and was about to say more when Jacqui slipped
into the room. She was obviously fresh from her bath, and
wore her robe wrapped about her nightgown. A towel turban
wrapped around her hair threatened to come loose. Laurie
stood and came over to adjust it for her daughter. "Mum? I
am going to go up to bed, now. Long first day at school. I
"All right, darling. Before you go, I would like you to meet
Ms. Bronwyn Llewellyn. She is an old college friend of mine
who just moved to the area." Jacqui offered her hand to
Bronwyn the way her Mother had prescribed when meeting another
woman and then smiled a greeting.
"Pleased to meet you, Jacqui. I hope I can be your friend,
A strange look fluttered across Jacqui's face and she stared
at Bronwyn for a moment longer than politeness dictated before
smiling again. "I can always use another friend. Well, I
need some sleep." She leaned over and gave Laurie a pecking
kiss on the cheek. "Night, Mum. Sleep well."
She was out the door before a stunned Laurie could respond.
"Laurel, what is it? What is the matter?"
Tears were streaming down Laurie's eyes. "That was the first
time she has kissed me. Since the moment of her
Transformation, Jacqui has never kissed me and she did it just
now because she had an audience, not because she still loves
me or wanted to kiss me."
Bronwyn stood to hold her longtime friend. "I think you are
wrong. I think she kissed you because I was here to distract
her and she forgot she wants to be angry with you. In that
moment, her real feelings came out. She still loves you,
Laurel. She has come a long way in the last few weeks."
"Goddess, I hope you are right." So do I, Bronwyn thought as
she held Laurie. So do I.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
32 A. T.
Mom put up a backboard and hoop for me. I got home from
school just as the workmen were leaving. They even painted
out a regulation half-court onto the pavement around the
basket. Mum offered to play me a game of one-on-one, telling
me that since she'd been a girl longer than I had, she would
eat my lunch because I was still so "ungraceful".
I murdered her, but it was a gentle death.
I wonder why she did it?
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
42 days A. T.
My period started again today.
End Journal Entry
A Change in Direction
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
48 days A. T.
First round of school tests are scheduled for next week and
Bonnie is really worried about them. Mum said she could stay
over at our house this weekend so we can study together and I
can help her get ready for them. She says it will be like a
mini-slumber party. Slumber party? What do I do at a slumber
It may be my imagination, but I think Bonnie has become a
little quieter, a little less chattery of late. I like the
Anyway, she is going to sleep over from Friday night till
Monday morning. She is going to share *my* bed. Jack is
going crazy. Here, we are going to be in same bed with this
gorgeous, sexy and voluptuous woman and we can't do anything
Well, I guess there are things that we could do. I remember
that magazine that made the rounds last year in the locker
room. It showed two women getting it on together without
Yeah. I think that could be pretty nice, now that I remember
that. So, am I (Jacqui) a lesbian or is Jack still straight?
I don't think I want to know. Of course, if I ever slip up
and make it with a guy, then the same question gets asked the
other way around, doesn't it?
Oops. Jack just went into his hidey-hole, again. Chicken!
She sure is cuddly-looking. Even if nothing else happens, it
will be nice to snuggle up against her.
End Journal Entry.
"Mum?" Laurie looked up from her coffee and morning paper to
look at her daughter. She fought to keep the hope out of her
eyes, and waited for her daughter to respond now that she had
her Mother's attention. "What *do* girls do at slumber
"Well, darling, I can't really say. I never had one. The
first time I associated with girls as a girl was after I went
to college. The closest I can come is when we used to stay up
late in the dorm. Besides, I thought you were going to study.
What did you do when you have had friends over here for the
"Talked about girls, Mum." The tone was disgusted and Laurie
fought back a grin, knowing that it would damage their slowly
"As I recall, we talked about boys. It was one way I learned
some of the things birth-girls already knew about them. I
just knew about the boy side of things and how boys felt. It
was nice to learn the girl side of things before I had to deal
with a boy on my own."
"Well, I don't think that is in the cards for me, Mum." Jacqui
thought of the boys who had used to be Jack's friends and how
they had treated her since school had started. Then she
thought of Bonnie. "I may be a girl now, but I am still
attracted to girls."
"I understand, luv. I did not opt to have my personality and
mind set changed during my Transformation, either. But the
power of sex is great and you may find yourself changing your
mind in time. As for being attracted to girls, that is to be
expected, and I see nothing wrong with it. Girls are very
nice." An altogether predatory and sexy grin lit her Mother's
face. "Women are even nicer."
"Mother!" Jacqui squawked. "You??!?" The thought of her
Mother having sex was one thing, but...
"Yes, Jacqui. I do enjoy sex and I enjoy it with both men and
other women. In fact, during those first months after my
Transformation, I had an exclusive, monogamous relationship
with another woman. It was wonderful. I hope you find
someone just as wonderful." Her voice dropped off as the
disappointment of not being that "someone" for her daughter
clawed at her, again. Clearing her throat, she continued.
"But that is up to you in the fullness of time. To answer your
earlier question, there are many things you can do - watch
television, eat, talk or sleep. For goodness sake, Jacqui,
stop worrying about what "girls" do. Try enjoying yourself.
This is not supposed to be punishment. Do what feels like fun
when you are with other girls. You might be surprised at the
things you learn and the things you like."
A tear glistened a single track down Jacqui's cheek. She
batted at it furiously, mentally damning the hormones that
made her emotions so close to the surface. "Okay, Mum. I will
try, but it is just so hard. School is okay, so long as I
stick to the class work. Besides Bonnie, I don't know how to
talk to the girls or the guys anymore. "Hey, babe, wanna go
out for a burger?" doesn't seem to be right somehow, and the
guys talk around me or at me so much I could scream. I don't
fit in anywhere except in the classroom. I am becoming very
popular as a study partner or lab partner." She grimaced at
"Stop trying so hard." Laurie repeated slowly. "You have a
friend whom you like and who likes you. You have people who
are willing to accept you on at least an academic level and
that is something you can build on. And, I seem to see a real
improvement in your shooting."
Jacqui's hands moved to her bosom and cupped herself with a
smirk. "I am learning how not to fall when these keep going
one way when my feet go another, and I have learned my new
range. I am not strong enough for a twenty footer anymore,
but I am getting the hang of a ten-to-fifteen footer again. I
guess I am going to be a guard and not a power forward. If I
make the team."
"You will. I think you have made a lot of progress, dear.
Really. Your healing lessons are going very well, too. You
have picked it up much faster than I did. So, just take it
easy, okay? Look, if you are worried about tonight, just let,
what is her name, Bonnie? Let Bonnie take the lead." Taking a
huge chance, Laurie stood and went over to stand behind her
daughter. She squeezed the girl's shoulders comfortingly and
leaned over to whisper into her ear. "Just have fun."
Jacqui sighed and then leaned her head back into her Mother's
neck. Gripping her mother's hands in her own, she smiled
wanly. "I will try, Mom. I will try." Speaking of fun
reminded Jacqui of something. "Mom? Speaking of fun. . .
.girls play chess, don't they?" The tone was wistfully
"Last time I checked, dear." Laurie laughed. "Why?"
"Well, one of the things you . . . . put into storage for Jack
was my chess set. I could still play on the computer, but I
liked moving and handling the chessmen when I played."
Laurie smiled gently. "You were the school district champion
last year, weren't you?"
A frown shuttered Jacqui's eyes and her voice lost its
vibrancy. "Jack won the district championship, but Jack is no
longer with us. I have not had the courage to go and see
whose name is engraved on the trophy in the school display
Hurting for her child, Laurie embraced Jacqui and felt her
daughter lean harder into her. "Your name, luv. Jacqueline
Donovan. You still won the championship, Jacqui. I never
intended this Transformation to diminish you, sweetheart.
Quite the opposite, in fact. Every honor you ever won that I
could somehow shift to your new life is still yours. Honest."
Jacqui just stood there, for a long, long time, letting
herself bask in her Mother's comforting embrace. She had
missed it so much. Finally, she spoke, her voice just a
little husky with emotion. "So, uhhh, if I get a new chess
set, you won't put it into cold storage, too?"
Another little hug. "No, love. In fact, I will go looking
for one while you entertain your guest. My special treat,
"Thanks, Mom." Her voice cracked that time. Embarrassed by
the emotions she could not seem to control, Jacqui gave her
Mother a little kiss on the cheek, and then all but ran from
Bonnie rode home from school that night in Jacqui's car. A
picture of Jack bringing such a hot looking girl home to Mom
brought a bit of a smile to Jacqui's face. Dinner was a
jovial occasion, with Bonnie keeping the conversation lively
and humorous. Her presence did a lot to ease the remaining
tension between mother and Transformed daughter. The three of
them made quick work of the after dinner clean up, but when
Jacqui suggested they start studying, Bonnie rebelled.
"Do we have to start tonight? Can't we watch some TV, or go
for a walk, or *something*? Isn't tomorrow soon enough for
you to crack the whip over my poor head?"
Jacqui pretended to consider. "I don't know." she said
speculatively. "Do you really think there is enough time this
weekend if we don't get on it right away?"
Bonnie's eyes went wide. Playfully, she picked up the
decorative pillow from the couch she was seated on and pitched
it at Jacqui's head. "BITCH!!" she spluttered, before falling
into a peel of giggles. "No, I don't think we need to work
twenty four hours a day. Besides, all work and no play makes
Jacqui a very dull girl and will make Bonnie crazy."
Settling the pillow down beside her and taking a very
dignified pose, Jacqui sniffed. "Very well. What *do* you
want to do, then?"
"I know, you can show me around the house and then we can go
up to your room and play dress-up. I want to play with your
hair and makeup. You never wear any and I have been itching
to see some on you."
Laurie, seated beside Bonnie on the couch, tried to look only
mildly interested as Jacqui dealt with Bonnie's idea.
Actually, this was a key aspect of the agenda that she and
Bronwyn had worked up for this weekend. Thus far, Jacqui had
studiously ignored the array of cosmetics that Laurie had left
for her the night after the Transformation. This lesson was
one that Jacqui needed, but they had agreed that they would
not press it if she resisted strenuously. But Laurie could
not help hoping.
Stunned by the idea, Jacqui had to resist refusing out of
hand. Bonnie was her friend, and so far, her only friend.
She did not want to offend her by declining to do something
she wanted to do, but still - to wear makeup? Like a girl?
But you are a girl, a niggling thought taunted. Swallowing,
she looked nervously at Bonnie. "You. . . ummm . think I
really need to wear makeup, Bonnie?"
Bronwyn/Bonnie almost cheered, but instead let a very feminine
smile light up her face. "Darling, nobody *needs* makeup.
You *need* food. You *need* air and water. Cosmetics are
among the little extras that make life special. They make you
look good and that makes you feel good." Bonnie decided to
sink the hook by letting disappointment and a touch of hurt
creep into her voice. "But, if you don't want to. . ."
Jacqui fell on the bait and took it down in one gulp. "No, no.
It sounds like. . ." She swallowed again and licked her dry
lips, "umm, fun." Shock sent icy chills down her body as she
realized what she had just agreed to do with Bonnie. Bonnie
and her Mother just sat there looking at her, waiting for her
to do. . . what? Finally to fill in the gap in conversation,
Jacqui forced a smile and asked. "So, Bonnie. What do you want
to see first? I know. I will show you my library. Yes, that
Surprised by that statement, Laurie forgot her decision to
remain silent and asked "Your library, Jacqui? What is so
perfect about starting in your library?"
The smile on her daughter's face became blinding as she stood
up and hauled her friend to her feet. "So Bonnie will know
the place of my retribution tomorrow if she gets too carried
away with this make-over plan of hers. Come along, Bonnie,
let's go see my whips and chains. See you, Mum."
Bronwyn managed to shoot a look of triumph at Laurie before
she had to stagger after Jacqui to keep from falling as she
was dragged from the room bodily. Laurie smiled softly at the
little victory. She hoped it would work and that Jacqui would
start experimenting a little with her looks on her own.
Hopefully, she would start taking a little feminine pride in
her appearance. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, she'd see her
daughter in make up for the first time since that abortive
trip to the beautician.
A couple of hours later, Jacqui was sitting in front of her
vanity mirror, staring at herself and trying to sort out all
the feelings that were assailing her. Confusion was a large
part of it, but there were also sizable pieces of pride and
even arousal in the mix, too. Just to make sure she was not
dreaming, she closed her eyes and pinched herself hard.
Nothing changed when she reopened her eyes.
The woman looking back from her mirror was someone Jacqui did
not know. The hair she had taken to wearing in a ponytail
(because it was easy), had been teased into lion-mane
fullness. It also seemed to change the shape of her head
completely. Her face was different, too. The colors that
Bonnie had chosen from that dizzying array of bottles and pots
were very subtle, yet very effective. Her eyes seemed larger
and more doe-like; her cheeks seemed higher and more shapely;
her lips seemed fuller and more pouty.
That was not all. She was wearing a very silky, shorty
nightgown that Bonnie had found in a bag of clothes from that
marathon shopping trip. Jacqui had hidden that bag in the
bottom of her bottom armoire drawer so she would not have to
look at it, but Bonnie had found it mere moments after they
had entered Jacqui's room. Once she'd seen it, nothing else
in Jacqui's entire wardrobe had been satisfactory. Lord,
Jacqui thought, I can see my nipples puckering through this
Her fingernails were again adorned with polish. This time the
color was one more suited to Jacqui's dark gypsy coloring than
the one she had worn initially as Scully's twin. Her toenails
had been painted to match and on her feet were the two and a
half inch tall high heeled mules she had tried to talk her
Mother out of buying when they'd gone to the shoe store.
"Well?!?" Bonnie's tone was impatient, with just a touch of
anxiety thrown in for effect. "What do you think?" Bronwyn
let her voice become wheedling.
Jacqui opened her mouth to answer, but could find no words.
Her head swivelled to look at Bonnie then back to the mirror
before finally setting on her friend. "I don't know what to
think. I did not know I could look this way. I'm...." she
struggled to force out the word. "Goodness, Bonnie, I am
Bonnie snorted. "Pretty, hell, girl. You are beautiful."
"Sexy as hell" was Jack's uninvited input. Jacqui ordered him
back into his cave. She had enough trouble on her hands.
"Heck, a little work and you would have the boys lining up to
take you out."
That remark got just the negative response the Bronwyn had
expected. "Boys are not a big thing in my life, Bonnie. I
have things to work out before I consider going that way."
Bonnie shrugged. "Whatever. Boys do have their uses,
especially if you train them well. Still, you still ought to
make the most of your looks because the other girls will
notice. I don't understand how you can have all this
wonderful stuff and not use it. And that bloody ponytail.
Let me tell you, Jacqui, if I see that thing again I am going
to do something violent to your hair."
Jacqui's voice became a whisper. "One reason I don't use it
is because I don't know how. Mom bought this stuff, not me.
This, " and she swept a hand over the top of the cosmetics,
"is not something I would purchase. I just don't see myself
"Well, you ought to, girl. And how can you not know how to
use makeup? Your Mom seemed to wear hers well enough. Really
subtle work - only another woman would even see what she had
done. If she bought this, why didn't she teach you how to do
Jacqui looked away. "Ummm, well, my Mom and I are not getting
along just now."
"Huh!" was Bonnie's disbelieving response. "The woman I saw
tonight thinks you put the stars in the sky. I like your
Suddenly, Jacqui needed to talk to someone, needed to air her
feelings, at least a little. Wasn't that what friends were
for? Carefully, she chose her words and asked, "What if I told
you she took something from me, maybe forever. Something I
never thought I could lose because it was everything I thought
I wanted out of life. She simply took it from me, without
warning, and then thought I should be grateful."
Bronwyn listened to the emotion as much as the words. She
heard the hurt, the lingering sense of betrayal. She paused
as if to consider Jacqui's words. "Sounds like a man." she
said, deliberately misunderstanding, "Is that why you aren't
into boys, because you have a man you are in love with?"
"No. Nothing like that. More like a dream. What I wanted to
do with my life. Where I would go to school. Something like
that, anyway." She sighed.
Bonnie pursed her lips. "Well, I don't know, girlfriend. Off
hand, and without knowing the whole story, I would say your
Mom probably thought she was doing the best she could for you.
I don't know much about her, but if that was not love and
pride I saw in her eyes at dinner, I completely misread her.
Don't you love her?" The infinitely costly question was out
in the open. Bronwyn crossed her mental fingers for her dear
"So much it is killing me to think she could do this to me,
change me into a wo... I mean, change my entire life without
so much as a "by your leave" or honest warning."
"Do you think she loves you?" Another big question floated
down on to the table.
"Now. I think she does now. I thought she did before, but
then she did this. And all I can wonder is what wasn't good
enough about me before?"
"Jacqui, you are working very hard not to tell me explicitly
what your Mom did. What I do think is that she loves you and
you love her, and you are both hurting. I think you should
try to believe that she did whatever "it" was, because she
honestly believed that it was the best thing she could do for
you. If you try that, and you find you cannot believe it,
then maybe you have to leave. You are almost eighteen. You
can leave after you graduate from school."
"If I do that, I can never regain what I lost."
"Can your Mother undo what she has done?"
"She says she can't. After seeing how miserable we have both
been, I think I even believe her, but she says she has the
means to help me undo it. Eventually."
"It sounds to me as if she made a mistake, Jacqui, one based
in love, but a mistake none-the-less. Do you think she is
unwilling to help you achieve this goal of yours now?"
"No." Jacqui sighed. "She is not unwilling. Disappointed,
but she will help me."
"Then if I were you, I would try to forgive her and get on
with your life and what you must do. Love is a very precious
commodity in this life, luv. I would not throw any of it away
if I were you."
Tears cascaded down Jacqui's face, cutting mascara-black
rivers through the rest of her makeup. Sobbing, she let
Bonnie take her in her arms and lead her to the bed, where she
cried herself to sleep in the comfort of her friend's arms.
A Change of Direction
It was a quieter, more introspective Jacqui who ruthlessly
drilled her friend on calculus differentials and derivatives
the next day. Bronwyn had not carried through on her threats
of the previous night when the familiar ponytail had
reappeared after Jacqui's morning shower. When the pair took
a break to walk to the store for some things Laurie needed for
dinner, Bronwyn let her friend brood in peace. Bronwyn was
tired of hearing Bonnie's chatter, too, and even more tired of
having to think of things to chatter about.
When they returned, Jacqui surprised her Mother by giving her
a pecking kiss on the cheek along with the groceries. Then
she hustled a resigned Bonnie back off to the library for more
Around four p.m., Jacqui called a halt for the day, much to
Bronwyn's undisguised relief. The two went up to the bedroom
and cleaned up for dinner. Bronwyn nearly cheered when Jacqui
took down her hair and tried for a facsimile of what Bonnie
had done for her the night before. Jacqui did not ask for
help, and so, Bronwyn elected not to offer any. Then she
added just a touch of lipstick, applying it with such care and
intensity that Bronwyn had to go into the bathroom to keep
from laughing and ruining everything she'd worked for.
Dinner was a quieter affair than the previous evening's had
been. Laurie and Bronwyn let Jacqui set the tone, and she was
too distracted to contribute much in the way of conversation.
If, from time to time, the other two women glimpsed the
Transformed Woman staring intently at her Mother, they did not
remark upon it. Bronwyn had set the stage for the internal
battle that Jacqui was fighting, but the battle had to be
fought alone. They could hope that she would come to accept
what had happened to her and forgive her Mother for her part
in it, but only Jacqui could make that decision. They had,
rightly or wrongly, made the first decision to Transform Jack
into Jacqui, and now, Jacqui had to live with the effects of
that decision. Laurie, Bronwyn and the entire Sisterhood
would now have to live with the ramifications of the decisions
that Jacqui would have to make for herself.
Bonnie sent Jacqui upstairs to bathe after the dinner dishes
were done, giving her first crack at the tub. Once she was
out of hearing range, Bronwyn turned to Laurie. "I couldn't
get her out of the room last night once I had her dolled up.
She confided in me sooner than I thought she would and then
she broke down under the emotion."
Laurie started to say something, then looked away. She did
not want to see the pity in Bronwyn's eyes. "Does....does she
The answering hug was fierce. "She is hurt, luv, but she
loves you very much. That is why she wants to hate you,
because the love made the hurt worse." Bronwyn wanted to ease
her friend's pain at Laurie still saw as "her failure". "At
least we really only lose a few years, Laurel. If Jacqui does
effect the re-Transformation, Jack will then only be able to
father girl children, whom you will be able to train into the
Sisterhood. They won't have the Power themselves, but like
us, they will breed only sons who *will* possess that spark.
And you and I will be there to help convert those sons to our
calling. It is only a momentary setback, love, not a
deathblow." she said fervently. "We will have lost Jacqui's
considerable potential, but the Sisterhood *will* survive,
Laurie nodded, then she seemed to visibly steel herself. "If
I am still here to train those children, Bronwyn." Laurie's
eyes overflowed before turning hard and flat. "As High
Priestess of the Sisterhood, you are aware that there is a way
to break my final Spell without Jacqui having to go through
the entire learning process."
Bronwyn started to correct Laurie's misstatement and then she
realized what her friend meant. Stark terror clutched at
Bronwyn's heart. "No! You will not even permit you to
consider that option. Have faith in your daughter. If she
wants to be a male again enough, she will do what needs be
done. I forbid you even to discuss this further. If she
elects to opt out of the Sisterhood, that is one thing. We
will *need* you when the dark time comes. I don't know if we
can prevail without you."
"It is not your choice, Bronwyn, and in this instance, I don't
care about the needs of the Sisterhood. My child is what I
care about, and if my child cannot forgive me for what I have
done to him. If my child wants nothing more of me than to be
free of me and my foolhardy decision to Transform him against
his will, then I will do anything," the word came out as a
sobbing rasp, "anything to make that up to him. And you will
see that it is done, because it is my right to ask it of you
and your duty to see that my Death Wish is granted, High
Priestess. On my death, the enchantment that prevents anyone
but Jacqui from undoing the Transformation Spell will die with
me. I ask, as my formal Death Wish, that the Sisterhood grant
my child's wish should that come to pass, High Priestess."
Tears were now streaming down Bronwyn's cheeks. Goddess, how
could you permit this to go so wrong. And yet, she is right.
It would work, and damn her, I don't have any other choice.
Refusal would be grounds for my dismissal as High Priestess
and my replacement would still have to do as she asks. "Very
well," the words shuddered out of her mouth, "So Be It."
"So Be It." Laurie responded.
"Give her a chance, Laurie, please? At least a few more
months? If college sport is more important to her than her
Mother, surely we can wait until summer. Give me that much
time? And besides, she won't want the gift at that price."
"She will never know." was the angry response. "I will die
somewhere else, in an "accident". You will never tell her,
Bronwyn, or I swear, my friendship to you is forfeit."
"Time, Laurie," she pleaded one more time, "Give me time,
Laurie saw the acquiescence in her friend's eyes and nodded.
"Very well. Until the Summer Solstice, Bronwyn. We will try
to help her find her way in this world that is not of her
choosing. We will teach her the things and arts she must
learn to wield the Gift of the Goddess and to control the
Transformation Spell. *But*, if we cannot do that, and my
child remains as miserable as she is right now, then we will
give her back the life she wants."
"At the cost of your own, Laurel? Goddess, woman, she loves
you, Laurie. I know she does." Bronwyn whispered.
"That only makes it worse. Take care of her, Bronwyn. I need
some rest." And with that, Laurie left the room.
"Goddess, what ever am I going to do now?" Bronwyn asked
plaintively. There was no answer.
She went up to the bedroom after fixing her face (it had taken
more magic than makeup) and found Jacqui watching the end of
"The Wizard of Oz" on television. Even though it was
Hollywood schlock, Bronwyn cringed a little when Dorothy
killed the Wicked Witch with the pail of cleaning water.
Thoroughly distracted by her confrontation with Laurie, she
did not notice when Jacqui perked up at the Wicked Witch's
After the credits rolled, Jacqui turned to her friend. "So,
what do we do tonight? Another makeup lesson to get back at
me for beating you bloody with the Central Limit Theorem?"
Doing her best to look evil and mischievous, Bronwyn asked in
a passable imitation of the Wicked Witch, "Well, my pretty,
how ever did you guess?"
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
51 days A. T.
Bonnie is asleep now. She's exhausted - it must be really
tiring being such a demanding bitch. If she is as put out with
my "dictatorial teaching style' as she let on earlier today,
she sure got even with me tonight. For tonight's lesson in
"Basic Girl Stuff - 101", she made me do my own making up.
This was *not* a pretty sight.
She did, however, eventually relent enough to show me how to
fix my mistakes without having to clean and scrape the gunk
off and start from scratch each time. Since I made a lot of
mistakes, I had plenty of opportunities to practice. I
finally got to where I was about half as good looking as I was
I still don't get it. Why do real women, oops, excuse me. . .
. Why do *we* put up with this??
After she had laughed herself into a better mood at my
expense, so she showed me some other things you can do with
cosmetics. She turned me into quite the sexy little slut.
None of the subtlety of last night, just bright color and
stark contrasts. I looked like a real life version of that
gypsy dancer from that Disney movie take off on the "Hunchback
of Notre Dame".
That was not all bad. Maybe this could serve some purpose I
don't yet understand. Watching her do it to me in my mirror
took my mind off . . . things tonight. I wonder if Bonnie is
going to study psychology in college? She sure is not going
to study math or physics, but she did a great job of shredding
my mind last night.
Afterwards, we cuddled in my bed. I thought we were going to
end up playing "you-show-me-yours-and-I'll-show-you-mine" by
the Braille method (with our fingers, Jack), but just before
we could get into each other's panties, she fell asleep.
ASLEEP!!! I don't know how she could do it. I was so knotted
up inside, I went back into the bathroom to let my fingers do
the walking. Maybe *real* girls don't get worked up that way?
Another little extra added benefit of the Transformation
Spell, perhaps? A case of terminal hot pants?
End Journal Entry.
Sunday started much as Saturday had, except that Jacqui was a
little more talkative. After helping clean up the breakfast
dishes, she absently kissed her Mother before dragging a
loudly complaining Bonnie off to continue the studies.
At two o'clock, Jacqui looked up at her friend. "You sure you
really want to take these courses?"
Caught, Bronwyn thought. "No, I don't, but pre-vet schools
look for things like this on your transcript."
"You will make a great Vet, Bonnie. You have a way of being.
. . comforting even when you are chewing me out." Jacqui
smiled in self derision. "Like last night about my Mom." She
reached out and took Bronwyn's hand. "Thank you for that. My
Mom and I were able to talk more easily this morning. What
you said the other night, well, it helped a little."
"I am glad." She made a shaking movement with her shoulder.
"Now, am I going to pass these tests?"
"I think so. Actually, the last few hours have not been bad."
That is because I have been eavesdropping on your mind as you
work the problems out for yourself, Bronwyn thought. "Yeah,
you should do fine."
"Then can we please relax for the rest of the weekend?"
Jacqui laughed at how pitiful her friend managed to look.
"Okay, but I'd like a favor." Bronwyn gave a "so ask" look.
"Could you help me dress for dinner? Clothes, makeup, the
works? I'd . . ahhhh, I'd like to surprise Mom.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
52 Days A. T.
I am not sure, but I think I made Mom cry tonight when I came
down to dinner. Bonnie helped me get ready. All right. She
did everything, and I just sat there. She made me up as she
did the first night - really subtle. I can still barely see
what she does, only I know Jacqui looks a whole lot better
when she is done. She put me in a skirt and blouse, which
surprised me. I thought she would pull out one of those
dresses Mom bought which still have not seen the light of day
from my closet. I think she chose this outfit because she has
seen me in fairly often and figured I would be more
comfortable in it.
She did something strange with my hair. . it twisted around
and sat up on the back of my scalp. She called it a French
Twist. I don't know about the French part, but if felt like
she was trying to twist my scalp off when she did it.
Then she made me wear one of the pairs of heels Mom insisted
on buying, but again, not the slinkiest ones. These are only
and inch or so tall and I was able to move fairly easily in
The total effect was really pretty. Jack thought so, and so
did I. Evidently Mom did, too, because when I came down, she
gave me this odd look and then hurried off to the kitchen. I
was afraid I had done something wrong and I gave Bonnie a
nervous look. She just squeezed my hand and led me into the
During dinner, every time I glanced at Mom, she was just. . .
. looking at me. And she had this little Mona Lisa half smile
on her face.
I wanted to ask her if it was okay, but I chickened out. Not
because I did not want to know, but more because I am still
not sure I want her to know that her opinion mattered that
That makes me feel kind of small.
Thank goodness Bonnie was there. That little chatterbox
filled in some very awkward silences tonight during and after
dinner. I owe her, big time. She makes a lot of things with
Mom and me easier. I think I need them to be easier, just
now. Have to run, Bonnie is coming back from the bathroom,
and it is my turn in the tub.
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
52 Days A. T.
Bonnie made love with me tonight after we went to bed. It was
fantastic! And she did it so slowly, like every touch, every
kiss, every lick and nibble were just so . . . important. I
am surprised I did not shred my bedding with my fingernails I
was holding on so hard.
Then she taught me how to do it, to her, with my own fingers
and mouth. That was almost as good - better in some ways. I
love the way she tastes! I love the power of holding her
pleasure on the tips of my fingers or on the edge of my
tongue. I love hearing her beg for her release and then
holding back just a second or two longer so she's really
frantic before I tip her over the top.
She called me a "cunt-tease". HA. I rather like that, and I
want to do it again. Soon.
Afterwards, she just held me, and praised me. Told me how
well I did for a first timer. Being held that way, cuddling
and talking was really nice, too.
And we could do it so often! I had at least three or four
cums (I am not sure because the blond bombshell over there had
me pretty well strung out for a while) and I could never do
that when, well, I might as well say it, when I was Jack.
Not that Jack ever did *it* with anyone but Merry Hand and her
Five Sisters back then. How strange that my first time making
love to a girl is *as* a girl. I don't know how it could be
better than this. On the *very* bright side, I will know a
lot about what really pleases a woman when I am a man again.
Another thing I wonder at is where Bonnie learned to do that.
Are girls that much more open with other girls than guys are
with one another? I do *not* intend to get involved sexually
with guys, but it would be nice to be able to do this when I
am at college. I don't think Bonnie is going to go college
here in town as I have decided to do(I need to be close to
Mum to keep up my other "lessons"), and making love with
someone else is so much better than doing it alone.
I am over here writing right now so I won't go back to the bed
and ravish the poor dear. She has had a rough weekend. Gosh
but she is pretty, all blond and round, and her breasts are
just so perfect.
Oh well, maybe she doesn't need *quite* that much sleep.
End Journal Entry
A Change of Direction
An excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
68 days A. T.
I guess that since I have been Jacqui now for over two months,
it is perhaps time to start counting months instead of days?
Next entry, I think.
Something is *really* bothering Mom, and it is getting
progressively worse every day. Every time Ms. Llewellyn comes
to visit, they go into her library and then she comes out
still more upset. I have tried to talk to her about it like
Bonnie talks to me about my problems? But she just gives me
this sad little smile and tells me I am imagining things. All
I know is that something about all this is really setting my
hair on end. Wish she would let me help or something. Guess
real girls have some type of sensitivity I either lack or have
not developed yet. I really wish I could do for her what
Bonnie did for me.
Another problem on a similar issue. I am not sure why, but I
keep remembering the wicked witch's death scene in The Wizard
of Oz whenever I see her upset like that. It is a creepy
feeling. And it is so vividly clear in my mind, almost like I
am actually watching the show on a TV in my head. I keep
seeing the witch die, over and over again.
I DON'T LIKE IT!! Okay, so I made that stupid crack about
Salem the day after she Transformed me. I REGRET THAT,
OKAY???? It was a stupidly male comment intended to wound her
_I_ _DID_ _NOT_ _MEAN_ _IT!_
I just wish I could take back the words.
Something else has changed, too, and it is *not* to my liking.
I played chess today on the Internet, again. And I got
CREAMED, again! My mind wanders so much now I can only keep
two or three moves ahead. I know the correct moves to make.
I proved that later when I reconstructed the games. I just
lacked focus at the time I was playing.
And I made a couple of strange, really impulsive moves in
another game that, in the light of reconstructing the moves,
were very weak. I know better. I am, or at least, Jack was, a
much better chess player than this. The only game I seem to
win consistently now is a "speed game", where thinking ahead
time is limited. I seem to have an instinct for the game that
does not work as well when my opponent has time to plan moves
ahead and can use it to control the game.
I am not comfortable with this. I was never very good at the
speed game before. The strength of my game was cold,
rational, ruthless strategy. Now, it is like there is too
much else in my skull. I cannot focus the way I used to
focus. Tomorrow, I will talk to Mom about it. Hopefully, she
might be able to help.
End Journal Entry
Jacqui slipped down to the kitchen early the following day.
Although not in her Mother's class when it came to cooking,
she was pretty good for a teenage male. That meant she was
probably adequate as a teenage female. She set out to fix a
special breakfast for her Mom.
Shortly, the smell of coffee brought Laurie down to the table,
still yawning. "G'mornin'" she mumbled. "What are you doing
"Wanted to beat you down for a change and see if I can still
make a decent omelet." Jacqui grinned as she set a fluffy
folded egg concoction and a cup of steaming coffee in front of
Laurie eased into the seat and took a sip of the coffee before
tasting the egg. "Delicious." she proclaimed with her mouth
full. She swallowed and then looked up at her daughter. "And
why shouldn't it be wonderful? I taught Jack years ago. Did
you think being female would do something negative to your
Jacqui laughed easily, surprising both women. "No, Mum. But
some things have been. . . .changing." She hesitated, not
knowing how to ask the question. The part of her that was
still Jack pressed the issue and forced her to confront it
directly. "Mum, does being female change something fundamental
in my head? In my brain?"
Laurie considered this for a long time. "I am not sure I know
what you mean, dear. Are you having trouble with your school
Jacqui shook her head. "No, not trouble. Just something out
of my experience. Like yesterday, I was playing chess at the
park with one of the older folks who go there?" Laurie nodded
her understanding. "Well, I got this wild notion to make this
one particular move. It completely violated the strategy of
the gambit I was trying to play, but the feeling was so . . .
.demanding, I guess. Anyway, on a whim, I just did it. I
expected to get clobbered but what actually happened was that
the move totally disrupted the variation the other guy was
trying to play and I won in four more moves. On the other
hand, I can't control a game like I could before. I tend to
get. . . distracted." Jacqui broke eye contact with Laurie as
if that admission had somehow embarrassed her.
She visibly gathered herself, returned her gaze to her Mother
and pressed on. "Another example is I can be alone in a room,
working on my schoolwork, and my concentration will break
because I will suddenly just *know* that someone is going to
enter the room in the next minute." Jacqui frowned. "Heck,
Mom, as Jack, a marching band could be in the room with me and
I would not have noticed them. I used to be able to just
close out the world when I studied. Now, I can't."
Laurie set down her cup and looked pensively at her daughter.
"Sounds to me as if you are starting to develop a fairly
Jacqui snorted derisively. "Intuition? As in women's
intuition? Isn't that just a convenient myth?"
So, Laurie thought with a rueful smile. Jack is still with
us. It was to be expected. She'd only been female, what, two
months? "Look at it this way, Jacqui. The ability to focus on
a goal to the exclusion of anything else, or how did you put
it? Oh, yes to close out the world." She grinned over her
cup. "That is a very fine talent if your job is to go kill
the mastodon and drag its wooly carcass back to the cave.
That is what men evolved to do. However, if your job is to
protect the family while said male is out stalking dinner,
other and perhaps broader instincts might be the result of the
natural selection process. Other input, that a man might not
need to process, that might only distract him at the critical
point of the hunt, for a woman and her family might be the
difference between escaping and living, or staying put and
dying. Darwin doesn't just make animals bigger, stronger or
faster, dear. Survival of the fittest means many things. For
women it meant developing different talents and
characteristics than it did for men."
"So this is real? This is something you experienced? I'm
not. ." and her voice trailed off, uncertainly.
"Yes, it is real, and I did experience what you are
describing, although I don't remember it being quite so
upsetting to me. And you are not. . . WHAT?" Laurie infused
the word with Motherly command.
"I thought I was going a little crazy. What has been
happening made no sense. There was no data I could see, but I
was just so. . .so sure." She flung her arms up in a sign of
"You are not going crazy, dear. The data was there, just not
evident to your "regular" senses. Intuition is very real, and
if you must be so bloody analytical about it, I suspect that
it uses peripheral senses. Like seeing something out of the
corner of your eye. Your subconscious knows it is there, but
it is not in the field of vision your conscious mind is
analyzing. As a result of evolution, women can accept,
process and act upon such data. Men have not evolved that
A relieved Jacqui began to work on her own meal. "So, I
should learn to accept these feelings, and to act on them? Is
that part of being a female that I have to learn?"
Laurie hid a grin. Everything still pointed to how to get to
the goal of being a male again. How very masculine of you,
dear daughter, she thought. Now was probably not the time to
tell her daughter that another element of her womanly heritage
was a strong, almost psychic empathy that also fed that
intuition. That did not fit into the "seeing out of the corner
of your eye" model she had just sold the girl on. That might
be more than Jacqui could assimilate in one sitting. Besides,
if the other explanation was sufficient to help her accept the
evidence of her new perceptions, that was more than enough for
Laurie conspicuously stuck her tongue into her cheek. "Well,
if you got a strong feeling to jump in the road in front of a
car, I would hope you would be more rational about it than
that." The answering grin from Jacqui was just what she had
hoped for. Now, Laurie became serious once more. "On the
other hand, I think you should regard these strong feelings as
part of the way you now view the world. If it is safe to do
so, experiment with them. If the feeling is recurring and
strong, I would suggest that it might be important."
Jacqui frowned again and Laurie caught it. "You can always
talk to me, luv, if you are bothered. I am a bit more
comfortable with such things than you are just now. I might be
able to help you."
For a moment, Laurie thought the girl might want to say
something, but in the end she just smiled. "It's probably
nothing, Mom. Thanks for explaining things to me. It has
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
2 Months 14 days A. T.
It has been almost a week since my talk with Mom about this
blasted intuition thing. Well, mine has been driving me
crazy, or if *it* hasn't, then I am simply going crazy all by
I am *dreaming* of that damned Witch in Oz, now. Every night
for the past few days, I have come out of a sound sleep with
the Witch's death scene playing in Technicolor on the backs of
Only thing is, this morning the scene changed - big time!
Instead of the green faced actress melting, the witch was Mom,
and instead of Dorothy holding the water pail, it was Jacqui.
Mom, this is getting *really* creepy, and I am getting
I can't do what Mom suggested. I can see how that
conversation would go. "Hey, Mom, my intuition tells me I am
going to kill you." Right. That ought to help improve
matters between us.
So, what do I do? I wish I knew another one of her Witch
buddies. I would really like a disinterested opinion on this.
But I don't have one, and I am not comfortable with this
intuition thing yet to decide what to do. So I have decided
on a plan of action that ought to give me some more "hard"
It took a while to figure this out, but everything keeps
pointing back to the scene in the movie. Whatever is
bothering me, must be there in that movie itself.
Tonight, Bonnie is coming to stay the night again. Before she
arrives, I am going to make time to watch the movie again.
Maybe that will give me the clue I am missing. I think the
old remote may get a real workout when Jacqui, I mean Dorothy
pitches that water pail.
End Journal Entry.
Jacqui crept out of bed at dawn. Bronwyn felt her leave, but
the girl obviously wanted to be alone and decided it was best
to let her. She was so tired, anyway. Jacqui had been
restless the entire night. She'd gotten out of bed several
times and paced about the room, or sat at her vanity.
Whatever was bothering her had kept Bronwyn from getting much
rest, either. She'd catch a few more winks before she had to
suffer the torture of optics and wave theory later that
Laurie came down to find coffee made and her daughter sitting
at the kitchen table. "What's wrong, luv? Can't sleep?" One
thing about her child had remained constant, Laurie mused, he
*or* she would not miss a minutes sleep she did not have to
"No. Yes. Well, maybe." Laurie smiled at that. So
familiar, she thought. "Mum? I have a question and I want an
Laurie went still. "I will not lie to you, Jacqui. I have
already promised you that."
"Not lying is not the same thing as telling the truth as I
discovered a few months ago, Mum. I need the truth and the
whole truth - nothing held back. Your word, Mum, Please."
"Very well, if you feel that my oath is necessary. I swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So
be it." Laurie intoned, her hands open and in front of her.
"I have been having those feelings we talked about again.
Actually, I have been having them ever since that night that
The Wizard of Oz was on television. I love that movie."
"I know. I think we have three copies on video and you still
never miss it on TV." The smile was soft, maternal and it
made Jacqui's heart skip a beat.
"Mum, when the Wicked Witch is killed, she says something
about all her works being destroyed with her." Laurie went
stock still. Her empathy cannot be that strong, she thought
in dismay. Her daughter's next words dashed that hope to
bits. "Is that true? If a ... witch," she stumbled over the
word, "dies, do the effects of her spells die with her?"
Laurie wanted so badly to lie, but knew she could not.
Moreover, she knew that Jacqui had seen the longing to evade
that question in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she tried to
answer the question without giving herself away. "The effects
of some simple spells do. Some spells are special spells, and
those do not necessarily end with the death of the person who
Jacqui heard the hesitancy in her Mother's voice and decided
to ask the question she wanted answered outright. "Will I turn
back into Jack if you die?"
Laurie looked away, refusing to meet her daughter's gaze.
"No, Jacqui. The spell is permanent unless and until someone
specifically removes it."
Jacqui pounced on it. "Someone! That is the first time you
did not say that *I* had to break it. Just now, you said
"someone else" had to do it." Jacqui considered that. A
flash of that intuition struck her. "The key is still your
death, isn't it?" she said flatly.
Defeated, Laurie nodded and explained the process in detail.
Jacqui listened impassively throughout the entire monologue.
When Laurie had finished, Jacqui sat staring into her coffee
cup. "You should know, darling, that in the event I die
before you have learned everything you must know to undo the
Transformation, friends of mine will then be able to do it for
you. In fact, I have asked a special friend of mine to
promise that she will see to it that your wishes are granted
should I . . . die."
Fear clutched hard at Jacqui's guts. She could not do this
without Mom. There had been mornings where only the assurance
of Mom being there had given her the courage to go on. She
*had* to have Mom with her all the way through this. "You
will give me another promise, Mother. You will do nothing to
take your own life, do you hear me?!!? Jacqui was screaming
and she was shaking her Mother bodily with hands gripping the
lapels of Laurie's robe. "You will live with this the same as
I have to. You will do everything you can, short of harming
one hair on your head, to help me, but don't you DARE do that
to me. Don't you DARE take my Mother from me along from with
everything else. Damn you, I LOVE you and I will live with
almost anything except your blood on my hands."
"You. . . you love me? After. . . after.."
The two women met in a fierce embrace. "Yes. After
everything. It was Bonnie who first reminded me of that fact.
It was the same weekend I saw the movie on TV, again. I could
not hear you through the hurt before. I know you thought this
was for the best. At least, I knew that in here." and she
touched her fingers to her forehead. "But it took a while to
accept it down here." She patted her breast. "I make you a
solemn promise, Mother. If you die before I am capable of
making my own decision, and your friend comes to me? I swear
that I will choose the option I want the least."
Eyes wide, Laurie sputtered. "That is a stupidly male
reaction. Goddess, but you are just pigheaded enough to mean
"You know it, so I guess you had better be very careful until
I can manage my own Transformation and make my own decision."
Sighing, Laurie nodded. "Okay. I promise." She lifted a
sleeve to wipe away tears. Her daughter *loved* her. That
was enough for now, and Laurie was wise enough not to press
for more. "So, what do you want for breakfast?"
"Oh, something light - fruit and toast? I have been informed
that I eat a little too enthusiastically." she sniffed
indignantly. "But I will get my revenge. Four hours of
refraction, reflection and interference patterns ought to
cross her eyes for her."
Better you than me, Bronwyn, Laurie thought, and then shoo-ed
her daughter off to wake her friend.
Jacqui was in the library setting up for the day's study when
Laurie got Bronwyn alone. "And she figured it out all by
herself? I swear, Laurie, I said nothing to her. I did
nothing to alert her."
"I did not think you did, luv. I think, however, we may have
seen the first inkling of deeper knowing and strong empathy
with her. And I think she is starting to read me like a book.
Jack never could, but I think my daughter sees deeper." The
disgusted look on her friend's face brought a chuckle to
Bronwyn. "You had better be careful, Miss." Laurie snapped,
peevishly. "She *might* start reading you!"
"Ah, but unlike your own skills, deception is at the core of
my talent, dear heart. She will have to become much more
advanced and powerful to read past my shields. She just
might, though. If she can put so little real information
together and put you on the spot like that." Bronwyn just
shook her head. "Good thing we only need to maintain this
masquerade until she graduates."
"Well, just be sure to be very careful around me, Bron. If
she reads me too well, she might pick up on you."
"What a wonderful thought. Well, I am off to learn more about
waves than I really care to know. See you at lunch."
October turned into November into December, and things became
easier between Jacqui and her Mother. Meals and quiet times
were no longer the silent battlefields of dark looks, cold
backs and pointed sniffs they had been shortly after the
Transformation. Bonnie/Bronwyn was a frequent visitor and
dinner guest. Study time they called it, Laurie snorted
derisively to herself. Well, Jacqui was learning how to enjoy
that body she now wore, and that was an important part of
learning the master the Transformation Spell. She was also
learning how to give as good as she got, if the goofy grins of
utter satiation on Bronwyn's face when she stopped to say good
bye were any indication.
Jacqui tried out for and made the girl's basketball team,
although she was not a starter. Her strength and body control
were simply not up to her (Jack's) previous standards. She
was an adequate shooter and a determined, hard nosed defender,
but her body just could not do what her mind "told" it to do.
As a result, she tended to fall the floor or to trip over her
own feet fairly regularly. In a year or two, she would have
learned her new body well enough to be an excellent player
Unfortunately, there just was not enough time for her body to
relearn all that before the start of the season. Still, she
played about fifteen of the forty eight minutes each game,
usually as the second player off the bench. Both Laurie and
Bronwyn were encouraged with the way the girl opened up with
her teammates, and how they quickly integrated her into their
after school activities. She wasn't "one of the girls", but
she was "one of the team", and that helped her acclimate a bit
Her grades continued to be among the best in the school, and
she had been accepted at all of the colleges to which she had
applied. Laurie had been surprised by Jacqui's decision to
attend the local state college instead of heading off to one
of the more prestigious science schools.
Staying close to home made sense, though, since only Laurie
could teach her daughter what she needed to know, what she
still wanted to know. Sometimes Laurie still wished for the
post-Transformation relationship she had enjoyed with her own
Mother. The happy discoveries, the little victories over the
unexpected pitfalls of being female, the shared laughter and
the lovemaking were all things she was unable to share with
her own daughter.
Her daughter was attacking (that was the only word that fit)
every task Laurie set for her. Frankly, it was just a little
scary how easily the girl had absorbed and stored away large
amounts of knowledge in that computer brain of hers. Laurie
was particularly pleased with how well her daughter was
picking up the fundamentals of Laurie's own specialty, the
healing magic, although the girl did tend to forget to shield
herself properly when she established a link.
That was really not a problem when healing minor ills or when
simply giving comfort, but it could be a huge problem if the
hurt or disease being dealt with was really serious. In that
case, a failure to properly shield could be fatal for the
healer. The healing link was almost like a sharing of life,
and if the individual being healed was ill enough, he or she
could almost syphon life out of the healer. A healer had to
learn to protect the vital inner core of their own life-power,
or else both healer and patient might die. Laurie wondered if
Jacqui's problem with shielding was that there was still so
much "Jack" in Jacqui. Males rarely felt the need to protect
themselves the way women often did. Laurie herself had
learned the healing arts far later in her transition that
Jacqui was learning them now. Was Laurie's own instinct for
feminine-based self protection more keenly developed because
of that, or was she just more inclined that way than her
daughter? She did not know, but hoped that Jacqui would start
to remember to be more careful with herself in the future.
Particularly with healing.
Still, Laurie could not have hoped for a better, more
motivated pupil. She just wished that what it was that
motivated her daughter could have been different.
So, things were definitely looking up, at least in Laurie's
view, when one evening in early December, an angry and
distraught Jacqui had stormed into the house. Completely
ignoring her Mother's greeting, the girl had stomped up to her
room without a word. Moments later, she had come flying down
the stairs, wearing her exercise shorts and a man's t-shirt
that Laurie had not known she'd bought, and went out to the
basketball court on the driveway.
Laurie had watched her for almost an hour, in the cold dark of
a December night, running and shooting, shooting and running.
There was something odd to the way the girl moved, too. Her
movements were jerky, strained-looking, without any of the
fluidity and grace she had been working so hard at developing
over the past weeks. She looked like a short girl trying to
emulate the play of a tall male.
That was it. For whatever reason, Jacqui had forsaken all the
new skills she had painstakingly developed since her
Transformation, and was reverting back to the way Jack had
approached the game. Only she lacked the height, strength and
speed to make it work for her. Laurie put down what she had
been doing and went outside to her daughter.
The remnants of the eye makeup Jacqui wore now (because
Bronwyn had asked her to) had made dark tracks down her
cheeks. Laurie knew in an instant, that it was not
perspiration that was responsible for those marks. Her
daughter had been crying the entire time she'd been out here
The ball got away from Jacqui and bounced to Laurie who caught
it easily. Although not the athlete her son had been, she was
in good shape and she had been wearing these female bumps a
lot longer than Jacqui. In one smooth movement, she took the
ball up into a jumpshot and sank the twelve footer. She'd been
practicing, too, during school hours. Jacqui had not realized
her Mother had been there until that moment and simply stared
at her, the tears still streaming down her face. Laurie
retrieved the ball and zipped it at her daughter's midriff.
"How about a game of one-on-one, tough-girl? 21 points, win
by two?" she challenged.
The look of surprise told her that Jacqui had not expected
that. Grimly, the girl nodded and tossed the ball back to her
Mother, conceding the first turn.
What followed was not a game, it was warfare. Whatever was
driving the girl, Laurie thought the third time she had been
put on her backside, it is not the spirit of friendly
competition. The fourth time she and Jacqui had tussled for
the rebound of an errant shot, Laurie had gotten her lip
split. Her ribs were going to be black and blue from the
vicious way Jacqui used her elbows to clear a path to the
basket. Laurie only scored on quick jumpers made before her
opponent could close on her because of the way Jacqui swarmed
her on defense. You should have fouled out within the first
five minutes, luv, Laurie thought grimly as Jacqui stormed
past her to sink another lay up to make the score 20-10.
Laurie took the ball to the circle and started to shoot when,
out of no where, Jacqui moved in to block her shot.
Although she did not have to do so following a blocked shot,
Jacqui cleared to the circle, giving Laurie time to get
defensive position. Jacqui simply ran over her, making the
winning shot. Both women fell to the pavement, Laurie because
Jacqui knocked her down, Jacqui because she tripped over her
falling Mother when she came down from making her shot.
The back of Laurie's head bounced hard off the blacktop,
making her see stars. Hearing the sickening *thunk* of her
Mother's head on pavement broke through Jacqui's black mood.
Quickly she moved to her Mother, seeking to initiate the
healing link as she had been taught. No real damage she
sensed with a relieved sigh.
"How . . . many times." Laurie gasped. "Have I told you to
guard yourself when you do that?"
A sheepish grin flitted across Jacqui's smudgy features. "It
might be easier to answer how many times you haven't. Are you
"What do your senses tell you, girl? And don't try to tell me
you don't know because I felt just how deep you went." Laurie
had been as stunned by that as by the fall. The girl had gone
very deep into her Mother's mind to ensure that there had been
"You will be okay. Just take two aspirin and call me in the
morning." She quipped back as Laurie gingerly lifted herself
into a sitting position and scooted over to lean against the
"Smartie." she grunted. "Mind telling me what that was all
about? And now that you have trounced and humiliated me, do
you feel any better?"
The happiness she had felt when she'd known her Mother was all
right evaporated and Jacqui seemed to shrink in front of her
Mother's eyes. Wearily, she dropped down to sit beside her
mother against the garage. "It was just a very bad day."
"Wanna tell your old Mom about it?" Laurie put an arm about
"Today was "Commitment Day", and it just all became real. I
couldn't do anything right at practice today, and I may get
moved even farther down the bench because of it."
"Commitment Day? What is that?" Laurie was confused.
Looking disgusted, Jacqui snorted at her Mother's ignorance.
"Today is the day that the letters go out at the big schools,
the ones offering basketball scholarships. It is also the
first day you can formally commit to a school, accepting their
offer. There would have been one of those letters in the
mailbox today, special delivery, from BC. The coach there
promised me one last summer after that basketball camp I went
to in June. He was there as one of the counselors and he'd
scouted me while his team was out here playing Stanford."
"I did not know about that. You never told me that." Laurie
"Didn't want to jinx it by wanting it too much. You can never
tell how these things are really going to turn out. I might
have gotten injured, or somebody from this year's team that he
was counting on for next year might have lost eligibility.
Then, he would have to do something else with the scholarship
he wanted to offer to me." Jacqui stared up at the moon.
"Heckuva jinx, though. Ineligible to accept a scholarship by
reason of suddenly being the wrong gender. I can't even play
decently anymore. Cripes, Mom, couldn't you have at least
made me into a tall, athletic female?" The comment was made
with at least an attempt at humor. It failed miserably as
gallows humor usually does.
"You are the woman you would have been had you been born a
woman. You actually are quite athletic, dear. Unfortunately,
no spell is going to give you the benefit and confidence of
having lived in a body for years. You have to learn those
things yourself because you have so much to unlearn."
"I know. It is getting better. You know? I even tried
binding these puppies," she cupped her breasts in her palms,
"with a rib belt to see if that would help my coordination.
It helped, but did nothing for the facts that my butt is all
wrong and my muscles are too weak."
"Your butt is beautiful, Missy, and I can tell you from
painful experience, that you are plenty strong for a woman
"Right." The tone was more resigned than sardonic. "Anyway,
everything became real today. Everything that's changed, that
is. There won't be a basketball scholarship in my future. If
Jack Donovan ever walks this earth again, he won't be the
person I knew. It just all hit me at once - nothing is the
same and" a sob broke through again, "and it won't and can't
be the same ever again."
Laurie drew her into her arms and held her as she cried. "You
are right, dear, but you would have changed, anyway, over
years. If today somehow, you met yourself as you would have
been four years later, you would not know that person either.
Change is part of growth, and growth is always change." Damn,
damn, damn, Laurie thought again. Why had she done this?
Because we needed her power and because we thought we knew
what was best, her mind answered. We still need her power.
Particularly if Bronwyn is correct about what she thinks is
Jacqui pushed herself away from her Mother and wiped her eyes.
"Thanks, Mom. I needed that. One thing about being a girl is
that there are times when a good cry helps. Now, I can let
the tears out without feeling like less than a man."
Laurie struggled up to her feet and reached down to help her
daughter up. "Well, that's a first. Something good about
being a woman." Not exactly something to cheer about as good
things go, but it is the first time she has said anything like
that. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up and fix dinner. After
that beating you just gave me, I am starved. And it is *your*
turn to do dishes, Missy." The expected groan cheered them
both, and they went into the house, arm in arm.
Lancaster read the report on his desk one more time and then
sat back to reflect on the information. His covert operations
against the Sisterhood were proceeding but the main goal of
the operation, the name and location of the High Priestess,
were still unknown to him. So far, they had captured four
Sisters and had put them to the question. None of them had
revealed what he needed to know before they had died.
Admittedly, they had not been very powerful women. Perhaps
they were not important (and equated importance with power)
enough to know what he longed to find out. Surely, if they
had known the answers he sought, they would have told his
inquisitors to stop the pain. All four had died horribly.
That pleased the High Leader. Unfortunately, all four had
died without telling him what he *had* to know. That did not
Perhaps they should take the Donovan woman and her changeling
whelp next. None of the women he'd taken had children.
Perhaps he could torture the bitch-boy in front of the Mother.
He sat there savoring the thought of it, but decided to hold
that as a last resort. There was something strange about what
was happening with those two and he wanted to understand that.
Some intuition told him that there was a very powerful weapon
against the Sisterhood in that household if only he could
understand it. He had two other members of that damnable
order identified on the East Coast. He would take them next,
and make sure that his inquisitors took greater care to make
their pain. . .more non-lethal. At least until they told him
what he needed to know.
"Hello? Laurie Donovan, here."
"Laurel? Bronwyn. Muriel and Katrina have disappeared.
Neither their contact Sisters nor I can touch their minds. I
think they have passed over, but no one can find their remains
"That makes, what, three now?"
"No, four. Four junior sisters have all disappeared without a
trace in the last six months. All women who had only the
basic teaching in their crafts and all women whose primary
talents in the craft were not martial. Katrina was an
herbalist and Muriel was an oracle. I don't like it, Laurel.
It smells of foul play. The police won't see a pattern
because they lived in different parts of the country and no
one outside the Sisterhood knows of that connection."
"No one except the Brotherhood."
"That would mean that they are actively searching for Sisters
and then killing them. That is farther than they have ever
"They never perceived us as a direct threat before, dear.
They always thought they could overwhelm us with their Dark
Power. Eleanor and Eva changed that mistaken perception
completely during the last major confrontation. We have to
expect that whoever was left of the Brotherhood after that
figured out what happened and how we facilitated that defeat."
"And now, they are ready to move again, and are trying to make
sure we don't do it again? Then why go after novices? Why
not go after the ones with the power to hurt their plans?"
"How would they know who to go after? Novices are still
fairly recent in their Transformation. Perhaps they made
mistakes in their behavior, or perhaps something about their
every day activities pointed to their association with the
Sisterhood if someone was looking and knew what to look for.
I think we need to warn the other Sisters, luv."
"Yes, I agree. How are we going to protect Jacqui? She does
not know enough to protect herself and she is not ready to
face the reality of who we are and why we really did this to
"No, she's not. I am afraid that must be your and my job,
Bronwyn. It was our decision to Transform her, and it must
then be our responsibility to see that she comes to no harm
"Well, I guess I can stand Einstein and Newton a while longer.
I will get the warning out tonight, Laurel. Be careful, luv."
The line clicked off.
Laurel sat quietly for a very long time. War was coming, and
by her own hand, she had put her only child into the middle of
it without her knowledge or her consent. But then, Mothers
have been sending their sons off to wars for millennia. They
just did not normally put them into skirts, first. Someday,
she thought. Maybe someday she'd be able to forgive herself
A Change of Direction
Bronwyn sat in Laurie's library/den, wearing her own skin for
a change. Ostensibly, she had been called over to "comfort"
her friend after Laurie had suffered a terrible "ordeal".
Now, with the cause of that ordeal sound asleep in her bed,
the two women sitting behind closed doors, giggling like two
"You should have seen the look on his face, Laurie, right
after she socked him the first one and right before the
uppercut connected that put the little snot into dreamland. It
was positively *priceless*." Bronwyn was all but chortling.
"He thinks he is the greatest lover in the world and that no
girl could possibly not want his attentions. Most of them are
just afraid of him and his cronies. Before today, though, his
nasty little games have always stopped well short of rape so
his politician daddy has been able to keep him out of trouble.
From his perspective, I suppose, this was no different than
those other times. Only this time, Jacqui disagreed with him.
"But why did he pick on Jacqui? I know her clothes are a
little on the daring side, but we all agreed to continue that
strategy as a tactic to get the males to pay attention to her
a little more. I was hoping she would find one she liked
enough to encourage just a little."
"The nice ones all back way off when she hits them with "The
Look", darling. Your daughter has very quickly mastered the
fine art of cutting a young man dead with a well placed glare.
This one today was trying to prove his manhood by being the
one who took her down. He has all the sensitivity of ancient
rock, so when she hit him with her whammy, he did not even
slow down. I sensed her anxiety, fear and then her anger, and
came a running, but by the time I got there, he had her backed
into a corner of an empty classroom. She tried to push past
him but he blocked her with his body and started running his
hands over her. Next thing, I know, she has dropped her books
and caught him flush on the chin with a left hook and then the
upper cut. He went down like a tree. Then, she just picked up
her books and left, calm as you could please. His cronies
parted for her like the Red Sea. It was great."
"Well, it was not so great for me when I got the call from the
Principal to come pick up my daughter who was being suspended
for fighting." Laurie said darkly. "I am glad you met me
when I arrived so I was prepared with the basics of what
Bronwyn sipped her brandy, her eyes still laughing. "You
impressed the hell out your daughter in there, by the way.
She was all but bubbling about how great you were when we
walked way home, afterwards. So what really happened? If I
believe Jacqui, you all but cut the man's heart out and fed it
"I was tempted, but it was nothing quite so dramatic. He was
a conceited ass and all I did was trip him over his own
The secretary kept me waiting for ten minutes before she even
called the Principal. "He's out in the halls for change of
class, you know." Except he wasn't. He was in his office
with Jacqui, trying to get her to confess to causing the whole
mess. I know because I eavesdropped on Jacqui's public mind
while I was waiting.
Finally, I was ushered into the inner sanctum and this prig is
seated behind his desk trying to look wise and scholarly,
while Jacqui was sitting in this straight backed chair
wringing her hands.
"Mrs. Donovan." he said it in a very condescending tone. "I
am afraid your daughter has been suspended for fighting and
will not be welcome back here for four days." His smile put
my teeth on edge. "I am sure you can help her correct the
error of her ways in that time. We cannot permit our young
women to behave in such an unattractive manner, I am sure you
Since I knew the whole story from meeting with Bonnie, I
decided to play along with the fatuous fool. "Oh, of course.
I do hope the other young lady is not hurt?"
He coughed and said something I pretended not to hear, making
him repeat it again, louder this time. "It, uh, wasn't a girl.
It was a boy."
I raised my brows in concern. "Jacqui, are you hurt? Did he
hit you, baby?"
Jacqui, her face twisted in disgust. "He never laid a fist on
me, Mum. He cornered me and was feeling me up under my
"Under your skirt?" I turned back to the principal. "I
assume he is being suspended, too?"
"That is not germane to this discussion, Mrs. Donovan.
Discipline in the school is my concern, not yours."
I stood up and leaned over his desk. "Now you listen to me,
you sanctimonious old fool. You weren't even going to suspend
that boy, were you? That little punk molested my daughter in
your school. I have been told that by two eye witnesses while
I walked to your office."
The idiot interrupted me. "I have witnesses that say her
attack was unprovoked at the time and that her counter-
accusations are untrue. Mrs. Donovan, if your daughter
receives, shall we say, untoward remarks, it is to be expected
when she dresses," he sniffed and looked down his nose at
Jacqui, "in a rather obvious manner."
I looked at her outfit. The skirt was a bit short, and the
sweater she was wearing fit her very nicely, but there was
nothing out of the ordinary for a pretty teenager. I saw red.
"Why you prudish hypocrite, her outfit is attractive, but it
is also completely in line with the dress code you sent home
on the first day of school. Now you listen and listen well.
My daughter has an unblemished record at this school, and I
also believe, is very well thought of by all her teachers. If
my daughter is suspended, or if I leave here without a formal
apology from you, I will start making phone calls. First to
my lawyer, then to the media."
"My word is final on this subject, Mrs. Donovan, and you are
being offensive. Please leave and take your daughter with
you." He stood to open his door. "If you don't leave, I will
have the security officer escort you off the grounds."
I stood to leave. "Oh, I will leave. Enjoy dealing with you
phone calls. Did I mention, that one of the eye witnesses was
your vice principal?"
He stopped me before I could get out the door with Jacqui. As
you know, Thea, the vice principal, is one of us, and although
she did not actually see it happening, she did "see" it. She
tried to get in to talk to that fool and tell him so, but he
was too busy trying to protect that kid because of his
father's political connections.
"Anyway," Laurie continued, "the rest was sort of
anticlimactic. Thea came into the office with write-up on the
incident and a list of the other witnesses. Jacqui was
cleared, the kid who did it is facing expulsion, and the ones
who lied to the principal are all being suspended."
"It was quite the big splash on the News at Six on TV."
Bronwyn commented. "Guess you decided to call it in, anyway?"
Laurie laughed. The principal had been filmed running to his
car, trying to escape the reporters who had gotten wind of the
"sexual harassment coverup plot" at the local high school.
The political angle had made it particularly juicy once the
word had gotten out to the reporters just whose kid had been
the harasser. Neither the principal nor the politician daddy
were likely to get much public support in the near future.
"But I didn't. Turns out it was the principal's secretary.
Once she found out what had really happened, she'd called her
sister who happens to work at the city desk of the daily
paper. It just took off from there."
"Well, at least it all worked out, and you made a lot of
points with Jacqui, today. Besides, as you are well aware,
her growth in the power follows the growth of her own self
awareness as a woman. Today she became very aware of two
critical factors. One is the potential vulnerability of being
female, and two, that you would come running to her rescue and
not doubt her story for even a minute"
"As if I would." she snorted. "But I lost ground, too. She
has demanded that we going shopping for jeans. She told me
she has spent almost six months in skirts and she wants pants
that aren't so tight she has to lay down on the floor to put
on. She was doing so well in the skirts, and now this."
"Don't see how you can say no to her, Laurel." Bronwyn said
solemnly. "For the first time since the Transformation, she
is dealing with the inherent vulnerability of her new
condition. She won't catch the next guy who tries to play
cute games with her by surprise, and she knows it. She is a
virgin, and rape is a scary thing to contemplate. Let her
have her pants, Laurel. The skirts have served a purpose, and
I don't think she is going to give them up entirely. Bonnie
won't let her." she added with a sly smile.
Laurel sipped and closed her eyes tiredly. "Wasn't going to
say no. Wouldn't do any good anyway because she swore she'd
buy her own if that is what it took. Told me there'd be hell
to pay if I got rid of them as I had Jack's things that first
night." She paused, letting the brandy warm her insides a
bit. "We will go shopping for them tomorrow since she is not
going to school again until Thea tells me that little animal
has been expelled. We will shop tomorrow and she can have all
the trousers she needs to feel safe."
"You know, Laurel, it is a good thing that she doesn't know
the Transformation Spell, yet. When I walked her to her class
after she clobbered that fool? There, in her public mind, was
the picture of him as a Dolly Parton clone with the morals and
needs of a rabbit in mating season." She grinned. "It was
all I could do to keep myself from making her little wish come
Laurie smiled at that. "I understand how she feels, but it
still means that she sees the whole thing as punishment." Her
voice was dejected.
"Boys don't often get raped, luv, and she thought she was
going to be. We will watch out for her. And that is another
thing. Boys. We need a couple."
The change of topic had Laurie's head spinning. "Huh? What
do you mean?"
"You said it yourself, earlier. You have been dressing her to
get her involved with boys. It has not worked. She still
cuts them dead with just a look and there are some rumors
starting to fly about the halls about me and Jacqui being
lesbians. Regardless of how true that is or not, it is not
the reputation we want her living with just now."
"Well, my little ploy worked so well she is demanding loose
fitting pants as protection. What are you going to do?"
"I have a couple of nice young lads all picked out for us. In
fact, I have been discreetly influencing them for about two
weeks now. They are growing quite infatuated with the blond
bombshell and the gypsy goddess upstairs. They are going to
ask us out to next week's dance and I am going to tell Jacqui
that we need to accept. Camouflage, you see." She grinned
mischievously. "I will even get her to be "nice" to the boy,
maybe a good night kiss or two on the drive home. If it works
out, and there is no reason why it should not, they can become
our "steadies". I will keep them from getting too amorous by
imposing some strong inhibitions on them and by giving them
some very interesting dreams to keep their manly urges at a
tolerable level. I might even talk Miss Priss upstairs into
giving hers a friendly hand job in the back seat one night.
Do her good to get her hands on a cock, again. It will also
further increase her self awareness. She is repressing her
sexuality and that will inhibit her growth to her full
Laurie listened in stunned disbelief. "You stinker." she said
admiringly. "You know? It ought to work. I don't know about
the sex, but she will go along with almost anything to keep on
Bonnie's good side and to stay in her bed." Then maternal
instinct flared and Laurie pinned Bronwyn with a stern glare.
"You are sure these are *nice* boys? If they hurt her, I will
turn them into harem slaves."
The thought of the usually gentle and forgiving Laurel as the
vengeful wicked witch made Bronwyn chuckle, but she hastened
to reassure her friend. "Picked 'em myself, luv. Popular
enough for our purposes with the "in" crowd, but still
independent of them. Smart, polite, and good natured. Just
all around nice guys - the kind you bring home to Mother."
"Her first kiss, huh?" Laurie took a fortifying sip of brandy
as she recalled her own first time with a boy's mouth and
tongue on her own. "That ought to make it in that diary-that-
is-not-a-diary of hers. Hope it's a good one!" She raised
her snifter in a toast. "To young love."
Chuckling, Bronwyn answered the toast with her own drink in
the air. "Here, here."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
5 months 3 days A. T.
Well, the times, they are a' changing. I have a guy try to
force himself on me (I don't think it would have been rape -
that time), get in a fight, almost get suspended and watch my
mom turn into a virago in front of my eyes. At least I have
gotten some comfortable pants out of the deal. And Mom isn't
laying out my outfits for me anymore, either.
That is good and bad. The good is that I don't feel quite so.
. . all right, I will say the word (go hide in your cave,
Jack) *sexy* when I pick out my clothes. I don't know why,
but Mom really seemed to have a thing for showing off my legs
and figure. I have not said anything about it to her before
this, because she said it was a key part of the program to get
back to being male. Now, I wish I had questioned her more.
Anyway, on the other hand, now I have to make sure things
match. Grown up girl clothes do not come with little animals
on them that you can match up to ensure that the outfit works
together like little kid clothes do. She let me go a couple
of days, but yesterday was more than she could stand and she
let me know that the two colors I had on clashed.
Today, I wore a skirt to school for the first time since the
fight. Bonnie thought I looked great and gave me a big hug
(she really *likes* me in short skirts - which is okay. I
like the way *she* looks in them, too). Actually, wearing the
skirt made me feel pretty good, too. Mostly because I *hate*
the idea that something that jack ass did to me was making me
Mom was proud of me, too. That helped, because in all
honesty, getting out the door in that outfit (I was wearing
the exact same one because it was the exact same one) was not
very easy. When she told me she was proud of me, it gave me
the little nudge I needed to keep from running up to my room
and coming back down in jeans.
The other big change is one I am not so positive about. Jack,
go hide again. I am going to have a boy friend, or at least,
I am going out with a boy. These two guys asked us to the
dance tomorrow while we were sitting together at lunch. I was
going to say no immediately, but Bonnie kicked me under the
table and accepted for both of us. After they left, I started
to give her hell and she shut me up quickly enough. Seems
that we are too much of an item around school, and some folks
have figured out that we spend a lot of time together out of
school. Bonnie says her dad will freak if he finds out she
likes girls and so she wants the cover of a boy friend. Says
I need one, too, and those two are really nice guys from
everything she has heard. I wouldn't know. I don't much
listen to the kind of girl talk where guys are the main topic.
Now the kicker. She says I have to encourage him, gently. I
have to be nice to him. What does that mean?? Lord, not that
I don't remember what Jack would have thought of as a girl
being "nice" to him. (not that any girl ever did anything
like that with or for me back then.) When I asked her to be
more explicit, she said a kiss or two would be fine - for now.
For NOW?!??!?? Oh, hell. I don't *want* to be *that* nice to
End Journal Entry.
Laurie and Jacqui were relaxing in the living room a few days
after the incident at school. Jacqui was sitting cross legged
on the floor, peering at a magazine article discussing self
image. She was dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt. She
looked so much like any other, ordinary teenaged woman-child
that Laurie felt tears pricking at her eyes.
"Mom?" The questioning tone keyed Laurie that something was
bothering the girl and she looked away from the newspaper she
was reading. Seeing she had her Mother's attention, Jacqui
continued. "What does "acclimate" really mean?"
Caught off guard by the question, Laurie considered for a
moment. "Since you can use a dictionary, I assume you aren't
asking for generalities, are you, dear?"
Jacqui shook her head slowly. "No, I mean as in the
"acclimating to being a woman" thing you said I had to do to
master the Transformation thing. Frankly, I don't know what
that means, and that is starting to scare me. I don't think I
am ever going to be able to do that." A tear trickled down
her daughter's cheek.
A little frightened herself, Laurie patted the arm of the
overstuffed chair she was seated in and beckoned the girl
over. She was more than a little surprised when Jacqui all
but scrambled over to her and sat down there, leaning down
into her Mother's shoulder. "Okay, now give. What is bothering
you. Specifically." She tried to keep her tone no-nonsense
in the hope that would help.
"Everything!" Jacqui sobbed out.
Undone by having her daughter crying on her shoulder, Laurie
just held the girl and let her cry. When the tears started to
ebb, she said with a tart touch. "Well, "everything"
certainly narrows it down."
Jacqui knuckled her eyes and gave a watery giggle. "Real
precise of me, wasn't it?" She took a deep breath and
snuggled tighter into the chair with her Mother. "Mom, I
don't think I will ever be as womanly as you are. It's like
the clothes thing. I know you told me that learning to wear
them and to deal with them was part of the learning process.
And I have tried, Mom, but after . . after. . " her voice
faltered, before coming out in a rush. "After last week at
school, I am more uncomfortable with them than I was in
September. And I probably ruined everything by making you get
me pants, but I don't think I can wear that other stuff all
the time again just now." The tears were starting to flow
"Easy, luv. Now, let's take it from the top. The clothes
were something I did to try and force you to acknowledge you
were a girl. It has been partly a success, and partly a
problem. However, you did your best, and for the most part,
your best was pretty good. I don't think wearing slacks is
going to set you back if that is what you are worried about.
I have told you often enough how jealous I am of how fast you
have learned the healing arts. Those are a woman's craft,
dear. That should tell you how well you are doing and how far
you have come." Not to mention that incredibly strong sixth
sense you have developed, Laurie whispered to herself.
"You mean it? I can wear the pants without losing ground?"
"Wel.l.l.l.l..l," Laurie drew the word out teasingly. "I
would not trade in your silky undies for jockey's, and it
would be nice if you could dress up occasionally like you did
the other day, but I think wearing jeans to school now and
again won't hurt your progress, love." Then she grinned. "In
fact, I know it won't."
Jacqui hugged Laurie tightly, then leaned back to look at her
Mother. "I was worried. This "acclimating" thing is so ill-
defined. I mean, Mom, I still *look* at girls instead of
guys. Girls turn me on, and guys challenge my competitive
instincts. I want to be better than they are at school and
stuff because they think I shouldn't be. I know you said you
can't tell me what the lessons all entail, but can't you help
me understand this? You are a really feminine woman. If you
are the example of what I have to become, well, I just don't
know if I can ever do that."
Laurie nodded her understanding. She'd never had this
conversation with her own Mother because by this point in her
own Transition, she'd known she was never going back to being
Larry. "That is a very hard question, Jacqui, because the
answer is different for each one of us. My answer, or the way
I live my life, won't be your answer or the way you will live
your life. As the line goes, dear, you must "to thine own
self be true". I think, that eventually, you will find that
there will come a time when you don't fight yourself so hard.
When the different perceptions and instincts implicit in being
a woman will no longer seem "different" to you. Basically,
you will be "acclimated" when you are happy with yourself as
you are then, regardless of how that person is perceived by
A frown furrowed the girl's smooth forehead. "But doesn't
that mean that to be able to return to being Jack, I have to
reach the point that I don't want to be him, anymore?" There
was a touch of accusation in her voice.
Laurie smiled gently to defuse her anger. "No, love, that is
not what it means. It is not an "either-or" situation. Just
because you are happy living one way does not mean you cannot
also be happy in another, drastically different situation,
too. Jacqui, the learning you have yet to undertake is not
intended to deprive you of your old self, or to brainwash you
so that you no longer want that for yourself. It is intended
to help you find and come to like, the real woman that you,
Jacqui Donovan, could have been." Should have been, came the
silent whisper. "And first, you have to discover her for
yourself. You had seventeen years to discover Jack, luv. I
don't think you have done such a bad job with only five months
to find Jacqui."
Uncertainty still clouded her eyes. "You promise, none of
this will take away my real choice to be Jack again? There is
nothing that this discovery thing does that will force me to
change how I feel about that?"
Laurie hugged the girl again reassuringly. "Only you and your
own free will could make that change, dear. I would never
impose such a thing on you. I promise. And it won't be so
very hard. I quite like the person you are becoming, dear. I
think you will, too, in the fullness of time."
Jacqui started to say something in response, then closed her
mouth. She hugged her Mother again, then slipped off the
chair and went to her room.
Lancaster read the message with increasing anger. The bitches
had figured out something was up and had taken action against
his operations. Effective action, too, since his two targets
in Atlanta and in Charlotte had suddenly become much more
surveillance conscious. He could not take them now without
coming to the attention of the local officials.
One thing about power, though, *when* you used it is often
much more important than *how much* you used. He had time.
He would continue to watch the elements of the Sisterhood he
had identified and bide his time. If nothing else came up,
the cessation of his operations against them might give them a
false sense of security. Additionally, there was still
something he was missing in that situation in California.
What was their name, again? Oh, yes, the Donovan women.
Well, he'd would let things work for a while. The longer he
waited, the stronger his Brotherhood became. Time was on his
A Change of Pace
Laurie surveyed the utter chaos in Jacqui's room with a
benignly maternal mein. The room looked like a tornado had
struck her daughter's closet and armoire and had deposited
every single garment the girl owned in the middle of the room.
Bright colors splashed every square inch of horizontal space
in the room and hung from most of the handy vertical pieces of
furniture. "Has this room been ransacked by some arch thief
searching for the Maltese Falcon, or perhaps a super spy
searching for the classified designs of your new secret
weapon?" she asked, as much to let Jacqui know she was there
as to poke fun at the girl.
"Moo-oom!" Jacqui responded, managing to add a few syllables
to the name in her distress. "What *am* I going to wear,
"Well, you are going dancing, luv. I would wear something
that was easy to move in. This," and she picked up clingy,
mini-skirted knit dress, "would let you kick up your heels and
look pretty at the same time."
The look on her daughter's face held more than a little bit of
fear in it. "But, but, .. it's so . . . . short."
Mine field, Laurie realized. Maybe Bronwyn had pushed this
too fast and too soon after the incident at school. Sighing,
she moved through the rainbow of colors. "I guess you could
wear these jeans. I understand that many girls do wear jeans
at dances these days."
The look of abject despair on Jacqui's face pulled at her
mother's heart. "Bonnie said I couldn't. She is wearing a
dress, so I have to wear one, too." And I still have not
bought you anything that is middle of the road, have I,
Jacqui, her mother silently sympathized. I wanted you to
constantly aware of you womanliness, and your clothes tended
to reinforce that. The only things you have that aren't
intended to put you in the spotlight are the jeans you
demanded last week. Looks like I put you in a pickle.
"Sit down, Jacqui." She said as she cleared a spot on the bed
for them both. Dejectedly, Jacqui plopped down beside her
Mother. "Now listen to me. Bonnie is your friend, and I am
your Mother. You don't have to wear a dress if it really
bothers you. First dates are tough for all girls, but
especially for folks like you and me who did not grow up
thinking of boys *that* way."
"I don't want to disappoint Bonnie, but I don't have anything
I feel . . . " she searched for a word, "comfortable wearing."
Laurie heard the word she meant to say, that she had nothing
she felt safe wearing.
"I don't have a chastity belt for you, darling. . . "
"MOM!!!" The girl flushed bright red at the thought and at the
fact that her Mother had read her so clearly.
Laurie put a finger to Jacqui's lips to shush her. "You did
not let me finish, love, but I do have something that might
help. I will go get it while you find the longest, fullest
dress or skirt you have." She stood and left before the girl
could ask her what she was up to. In her own bedroom, Laurie
found what she was looking for and hurried back to the room.
Darn Bronwyn, anyway, she should not have pushed the girl so
hard. And darn herself, too, for not foreseeing the need for
her daughter to look nice without looking too sexy. They
should have been ecstatic just to get her out on a date with a
male, but no, Bronwyn had to go for the home run and make her
feel femininely vulnerable, again.
She returned to the room to find Jacqui standing in front of
the mirror holding the same outfit Laurie had first suggested.
*That* was the longest skirt she owned?? No wonder she was
in a panic, Laurie thought to herself. "Here, put this on. It
will be a bit small on you because it is mine and you are
taller and more rounded than your dear old Mom." The garment
she held out was white and looked like running shorts.
Carefully, Jacqui took the proffered item and looked at it.
"What is it?" she finally asked in confusion.
"Something you don't really need, luv, so I did not buy you
any. It is a long line panty girdle. I use it when I am
stalking to keep gravity from winning, but you can use it as a
pretend chastity belt. They are bloody hard to get on and
off, so even if you find out you like boys, you won't find
your panties down around your ankles before you are really
ready to take them down yourself." At that, Jacqui's face
darkened and Laurie raised a hand to forestall the deluge she
saw coming. "I *know* you don't intend to have that happen,
dear, but I have to be honest with you. One aspect of the
Transformation is that you are a very excitable young woman.
I wanted you to enjoy your sexuality, so I .... well, I gave
you a little help."
"Gee, thanks a whole lot, Mother." was Jacqui's disgusted
"You're welcome, I'm sure," was Laurie's cheeky response.
"Now, toddle off to the bathroom and do your business. You
are not going to want to be fighting your way into and out of
this thing all night." She smacked her daughter's panty-ed
bottom to hurry her along.
She was ready just in time. She wore pantyhose since Laurie
did not have any regular stockings that were short enough for
the panty girdle, and her one inch heeled pumps. The knit
dress looked great on her, showing off her high breasts and
narrow waist perfectly. That boy was going to be in terminal
lust before the night was over. Laurie had helped her with
making up her face, using a somewhat heavier hand than Bronwyn
had taught the girl. It was a dance, after all, and it would
be dark in the gym so she'd need the extra color and
definition. At least, that is what she told Jacqui.
She'd approved of the young man, too. Marcus Arnold was tall,
maybe six feet one or so, and he dressed nicely in slacks,
loafers and a knit pullover. His manners were excellent and
he made real points with Laurie when he complimented her
daughter by comparing her with her mom. A quick, magical
reading of the boy showed that there was no malice in him; he
was simply a nice young man looking forward to a good time
with a very pretty girl. Bronwyn had chosen well. Teary-eyed,
Laurie had waved to them as they drove off. She'd wait up for
them, but she would only show herself if she sensed any upset
or panic in her daughter. She'd run the boy off then, but if
everything went well, tomorrow was soon enough to try and
share those little "first date" mother/daughter confidences.
The car Marcus was driving had bucket seats, a center console
and *no* back-seat. At least, Jacqui thought, I won't have to
worry about getting caught in that old cliche. Marcus tried
to make conversation with her on the trip, but she was so
nervous, she answered in monosyllables, if at all.
At school, he rushed around the car to open her door and hand
her out. She smiled in appreciation for the gallant move, but
not for the reason he probably assumed. It was darned hard to
move in the girdle. There was no way she would have
gracefully managed getting out of the low slung car without
his help. As it was, she only barely missed flashing him
before she remembered to spin both her legs out the door and
to keep them together while she stood. Again, she regretted
the promise she'd made Bonnie that she'd wear a dress or skirt
He offered her his arm, and it took her a moment to realize
that she was supposed to put her arm in his for the walk to
the door. As she walked beside him, she wondered at the size
difference between the two of them. Jack had almost always
been taller than his friends. Being so close to someone so
much taller than her was a very new experience. Since her
Transformation, she mostly spent time with her Mom and with
Bonnie, and they were shorter than she was. Even on the team,
only a few of the girls were really taller than she was and
she did not get all that close to them.
They entered the darkened, noisy gym. The music was loud and
the kids were louder. Marcus said something to her and she
could not hear him. He yelled in her ear "Do.... You....
Hell no, she thought frantically. Swallowing hard, she looked
at the dance floor and realized it was the fast kind of dance
kids like, with very little body contact. Closing her eyes,
she nodded her agreement. He gently took her hand and led her
out into the milling throng of dancing kids.
Dancing was a little harder than she remembered from her boy-
days. First, she was in heels, and no matter how low they
were, they *were* heels. She made sure she kept her balance
first and the beat second. Besides, the rapid, athletic style
of movement she had preferred on the dance floor as Jack did
not suit her current stature, build or dress.
Surreptitiously, she glanced around at the nearby dancers
until she found another girl dressed in heels and a skirt
dancing nearby. Using the girl as her model, Jacqui began
learning how to dance like the girl she was instead of the boy
she had been.
We forgot this part of it, Mom, she thought ruefully, and then
another, scarier thought hit. Whatever was she going to do
when they started slow dancing? What little of that she'd
done, she'd done as a guy and guys led. Should she claim not
to know how to dance that way?
The turn of her mind kept her from really enjoying the
dancing. When that set ended, she asked (yelled) if they
could take a short respite so she could go to the lady's room.
On the way there, she was intercepted by Bonnie who went in
"How's it going, girl? Isn't he a great guy?" Bonnie
bubbled, trying to figure out how it was *really* going.
"It's okay, I guess. I don't know how to dance, but I am
faking it on the hip-hop stuff. Don't know what I am gonna do
when we slow dance."
Bonnie grinned easily, trying to relax the girl. "That's
easy. Just hold on to him, go where he pulls you, and try to
keep your feet out from under his."
Remembering Jack's own attempts at crushing a girl's toe,
Jacqui laughed nervously. Maybe that was all it would take.
"Well, I will try, but if he hits the same toe three times, I
will accidently nail his little toe with my heel." He
remembered a girl doing that to Jack, too.
Bonnie came out of the stall and finished refreshing her
makeup. "Aren't you going to use the convenience? It is going
to be a long night."
Jacqui simply shook her head and rubbed her belly with one
hand as she moved to the door. "Can't. All locked in." and
she sailed out into the hall where Marcus awaited her
"Locked in?" Bronwyn asked herself and then thought, Laurie,
what have you done? Her own date, Jeremy was waiting for her.
She'd have to talk to her young charge again later to find out
what the story was.
In the end, it was a case of the "best laid plans of mice, men
and witches oft times go a leigh." Bronwyn never caught up
with Jacqui again that night, having to use some mighty quick
foot work to keep her own toes intact. She saw Jacqui leaving
on Marcus' arm as the teachers were trying to herd the kids
out so that they could go home, too. At least she had been
smiling up at the boy as they walked to the car. Now, if only
the last "good night" went well.
Once she had talked with Bonnie, Jacqui had stopped fretting
so much. The girdle, for all the discomfort it caused her,
would be ample protection against any improprieties she did
not welcome. The music was great and she'd always loved
dancing. Even the slow dancing was okay, and toward the end
of that, she had decided that being held close against a big
strong warm body had possibilities she had not considered
before. And Marcus had not stepped on her toes even once. He
was a much better dancer than she was or than Jack had ever
The evening had flown by. When the two of them weren't
dancing, they would step out into the hall for a refreshment
or a chat. She discovered that Marcus was an English Major,
which explained why she did not see him in her science
oriented classes, and that he was going to Washington State
for college. He wrestled instead of playing basketball, and
he liked tennis for recreation. It was also very obvious that
he liked Jacqui, too, and surprisingly, that did not bother
her as she had thought it would. Eventually, the dance had
come to a close and with that had ended her short idyll. Now,
driving back toward the sanctuary of her house, she started
worrying about the kiss Bonnie had insisted she bestow on her
Do girls really kiss on the first date, she thought in a mild
panic. Bonnie had insisted that they do. "It's only four
lips touching, idiot. You and I do it all the time. You seem
to like it well enough." Had been Bonnie's scathing comment
when Jacqui had initially bridled at the idea of kissing
Marcus. Yeah, Bonnie, but you are a girl and he's a boy, and
part of me still thinks like a boy.
In the end, she convinced herself that she would "tough it
out". As he had at the school, Marcus had nearly fallen in
his dash to open her car door when they pulled up next to the
darkened house. There were no interior lights on, but Mum had
left the porch light on for her. Jacqui managed a more
dignified exit from the car this time and found herself
standing very close to Marcus once she gained her feet. His
hand still held hers as she looked up into his face. She had
no where to go, just then, for the car blocked her retreat and
his body blocked her advance. This, then, was her moment of
By now, Jacqui had a reading on Marcus and knew him to be a
decent and gentle guy. All she had to do was let him know
that he was too damned close and pushing too hard for a first
date and he'd back off in an instant. But she'd promised
Bonnie. . .
Shyly, she rose up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on
his cheek. "Thank you, Marcus," her whisper was raspy with
her nerves. "I had a wonderful time."
Taking her kiss as an invitation, Marcus clumsily wrapped his
arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He
brought his lips down on to hers and made a very sloppy
attempt at a more intimate, mature kiss. His tongue swept her
lips. Involuntarily, her arms came up around his neck and she
returned the kiss, dueling with her own tongue.
A dog barking next door, startled the two deeply involved
teens and they broke apart. Staring at one another, they
simply stood there unmoving for several seconds. Finally,
Jacqui broke the silence. "I should be going in."
"I will walk you to the door." Marcus answered, his tone
brooking no argument. She gave him her arm and allowed
herself to be led to the door.
She took her key from her purse and then unlocked and opened
the door. She started to go in, when she stopped suddenly and
moved up to kiss him once more, this time on the mouth. "Good
night, Marcus. Thank you again."
Shocked at herself, Jacqui quickly closed the door and all but
ran up the stairs to her room, not seeing the smiling Laurie
standing in the deep shadows of the darkened front room.
Well, Bronwyn, she thought happily, looks like you won your
gamble again. Very pleased with the night's work, Laurie
settled herself on the couch to wait for her daughter to fall
asleep. No sense letting her know that Mom was watching out
for her when she was being so brave.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
5 months 4 almost 5 days A. T.
I have survived my first date with a boy with my virtue and
sanity intact. Actually, it was a really good time once I
stopped worrying about being a girl and just had some fun. If
I was going to write like a girl, I would say that Marcus was
sweet. Well, he was, Jack. I did not even need that blasted
foundation garment from hell Mom found for me. Having it was
nice, though. I felt much safer in it when I left for the
dance. I am not sure I would have been able to get out of the
house without it, unless I wore pants.
I, Jacqui Donovan, do hereby swear that I will not let Bonnie
Davis talk me into any more promises that scare the hell out
Wearing skirts to dances. Going out with boys. Kissing boys.
God, what will the girl come up with next.
Actually, the kissing wasn't so bad. He was really shy about
it. I think if I had said "boo" to him, he'd have fainted.
The strange thing is that I *think* I was really the one in
control. Or I was until my brain shutdown. Good thing that
dog barked or I might have been trying to figure out how to
get out of that panty girdle.
Now there is a very honest and very scary bit of truth. Mom
told me that Transformation Spell she cast has given me, now
how shall I put this delicately, an enhanced enthusiasm for
sexual adventure. More bluntly put, I am going to have to be
very careful in the future because as I found out tonight, I
have tendencies toward being easy.
Being smaller than a guy has some distinctly interesting
aspects to it. For one thing, I felt. . . .protected(?) by
him when he held me tonight. New feeling for me because I
have never felt anything like it before. Not a bad feeling, I
think, just different.
Well, if he asks me out again, I am going to go. I am going
to have to think about that damned panty girdle, though.
Might be smart to wear it a few more times, particularly if he
kisses like that all the time. I am going to have to find out
if that was beginner's luck, I think.
He has nice eyes. I like him.
Damn, Bonnie is going to crow about this. She was so sure she
was right. The fact that she was makes me want to spit.
Can't she be wrong about this girl stuff - just once so I will
know she is human?
End Journal entry.
Bronwyn sipped the tea that Laurie had prepared. "So the
"locked in" was a girdle? And she wore it because she did not
feel safe in that dress? Lord, Laurel, she did not have to
wear something that provocative just because I made her
promise not to wear trousers. Couldn't you talk her into
something in between?"
"She... uh, she doesn't have anything "in-between", Bron.
That was chosen as the longest skirt she has. I must admit
that I have gone overboard making her dress like a very girly
girl when I first outfitted her."
"No lie!" was Bronwyn's emphatic response. "I never knew.
She needs other clothes, then, Laurel. She needs women's
clothes that she doesn't feel exposed in and that are still
"I know. I asked her to come shopping with me this weekend.
I let her believe it was for me, so we won't be going to the
youth oriented boutiques I dragged her to last summer. She'll
relax and we will find things she likes wearing, hopefully."
Laurie sipped her own tea. "She liked the kiss, by the way.
She would not come right out and say it, but by the scarlet
blush that covered her when I asked about it, she must have
liked it a lot."
"Good. That bit of self knowledge should help her. How is
her training coming?"
"Great. She just soaks it up, and she has a very gentle touch
with healing." A sly grin stole across her features. "My
periods have not been this easy since my own Mother passed
over. She is also very strong. And she anticipates
knowledge. I mean, she is very intuitive. Sometimes I think
she already knows what it is I intend to teach her."
"What about other magic? Illusions and such?"
"I haven't started those yet. As you know, those skills are
not the strengths of my craft and I have been practicing them
first. It is too bad she can't take that teaching from you.
I think you would do much better with her than I will in those
"Two problems with that. One, the Sisterhood tradition is
that a Mother teaches her Transformed child. I could get
around that one, but the other one is a harder nut. If she is
intuitive as you say she is, I don't want her around Bronwyn
Llewellyn enough to see something that reminds her of Bonnie
Davis. Not yet, anyway. That is reason I have not been
around here as often lately."
"True. I'll start in a couple of months. There is time.
What is on your agenda for her?"
"More boy-stuff. She needs to keep exploring that aspect of
her personality and it is best that I help keep young Marcus
on a fairly tight leash for her. I may have done my work too
well with him, because I think he is falling for our Jacqui
and falling hard."
"Is that a problem? It was nice when the boy who gave me Jack
liked me a lot."
"Not a problem, but your impregnator was on his way to the
Middle East for that Beirut thing and you were able to move
away and disappear after you "caught". Marcus is going to
want to marry the girl. It is the way his mind works. He is
the honorable, responsible sort. We'll just have to move the
two of you somewhere else if he does become the one who gives
her the baby she will need to master the Transformation
Laurie's shoulders slumped a bit at that news. "I have liked
living here, but if that is what is best for Jacqui, then we
will move." It was a long standing tradition with the
Sisterhood that the fathers of their children never knew of
their existence. Men tended to take a dim view of their sons
suddenly being Transformed into daughters. In most cases, the
Sisters arranged "accidents" so that they could "die". Then,
they would alter their appearance and move elsewhere to raise
their child and to continue the Sisterhood.
"Well, no need to do anything about it right away. He is good
for her right now, and she evidently likes him. She may find
someone else while he is away at college. We will wait and
see for now."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
6 months, 2 days A. T.
This intuition stuff is really starting to get to me, again.
When is something intuition and when is it paranoia??
Case in point. Mom's friend Bronwyn. When I first met her,
she said she wanted to be my friend, but lately it seems that
whenever I get home and she is here, she immediately has to
leave. Like I said... Paranoia, probably.
But it just keeps . . . . tickling at me. And I have this
deja vu kind of sensation. It sounds like one of Jack's tired
old lines, but I feel like asking her if we've met before. We
probably have, now that I think about it. She is an old
college chum of Mom's which means I might have met her years
ago, when I was really little.
It is just that this intuition thing is so bloody nebulous.
It's there and it's not. You *feel* something, and then when
you look for whatever it is, there is nothing to *look* at. I
feel like I am searching for the monster under the bed,
On a similar issue, I have been playing chess with Marcus. He
is a fairly good player for an English major. No match for
Jack, but more than good enough to give Jacqui a run for her
money. I don't think I am going to repeat as school district
chess champion. I can beat Marcus, usually, and I always
clobber him when we play a speed game.
I have spent a bit of time analyzing my game lately.
Fortunately, my memory is still nearly eidetic, so I have
reconstructed all my games. My openings and my end games are
just fine. In fact, my end game, if anything, is better. I
seem to have this killer instinct that I did not have before.
Maybe the female is deadlier than the male.
It is the middle game where I get into trouble. If I can't
clear the board quickly and force a confrontation; if my
opponent forces a strategic battle for position with an eye
towards winning by a pawn or some such, I get beaten pretty
much every time. Holding more than three or four moves in my
head now is really difficult. I seem to find too many other
things to attract my attention. The other problem is that I
am *slow* in that situation. I would have defaulted one game
on time limit if my opponent at the chess club had not put me
out of my misery on his previous move.
No, the only reason I will be in the tournament in March is
because I am defending champion. The players at school now
know better than to get into a speed match with me and the
ones with a mature middle game can cripple my end game
End Journal Entry
A Change of Direction
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
6 months, 18 days A. T.
Well, I guess I am a real witch now. I have used magic for
real on someone other than Mum. One of my teammates twisted
wrong on her leg in practice today, and one of the bones in
her calf just splintered. What is they call it when the bone
goes through the skin? I think it is called a compound
Anyway, Tamika was just screaming and writhing. The coach
could not keep her still, and the blood was just everywhere.
We found out later she had cut a blood vessel.
I linked with her. Yes, Jack, I did remember to shield. I
was able to ease her pain enough that she quit screaming, and
I was able to nearly stop the bleeding. Besides the healing
arts, once I had her stilled, I used direct pressure on the
bleeding, too. That is what the paramedics think saved her.
Maybe it did, too, but I could not have done that if she'd
still been flopping on the floor like landed fish.
She's going to be all right. Only problem is that I have not
yet been able to deal with the pain myself. Broken legs hurt
like a bitch, at least that one did. I don't know how I made
it to the car after practice.
Thank Goodness Bonnie was there and offered to drive. Just
the thought of pressing on the accelerator makes my leg hurt.
I like Tamika. I am glad I could help her.
Odd how things work out. If I had not been Transformed,
Tamika might well have died. And speaking of Transforming, I
have not heard much on that subject from Mom, lately. I guess
I proved today that I have learned my healing lessons pretty
well. I just wish I had a better idea what the rest of the
"lessons" are before I can learn the Transformation Spell.
I am still convinced it has something to do with sex, and more
to the point, sex with a guy.
Why do I think that closing my eyes and thinking of England
won't get the job done, either. Maybe because I know my
Mother a bit better than Jack ever did.
End Journal Entry.
"She'll be fine, Bronwyn. It is just post healing stress. A
good night's sleep and the bulk of the trauma she inflicted on
herself will be dealt with."
Bronwyn, still in Bonnie's skin, took a shaky sip of her tea.
"Goddess, I was so scared. I felt her link, and immediately
knew she was going after a potentially fatal injury. I tried
to inhibit her, but she was too strong. Thank the light that
she shielded herself."
"You weren't able to break her linkage?" That bit of news
Bronwyn shook her head emphatically. "No way. Might have
been able to stop her from making the initial link, but once
she had it, there was nothing I could do. She is definitely
her Mother's daughter so far as her healing talents go." She
took another sip of tea, her hands steadier now. "I am *very*
glad we had you start her training when we did."
"So am I, dear friend, so am I." said Laurie as she considered
the danger of that day's linkage. "On another subject. Have
you had a chance to peak at her diary lately?"
"No, not for a couple of weeks." Bronwyn's eyes unfocused,
momentarily. "Nothing much in the past few days, other than
she is happy she could help her friend. Maybe that will be
something we can build on - that Jacqui could help, but Jack
would not have been able to." Bronwyn decided to keep Jacqui's
speculations on the Transformation Spell to herself. Let
Laurie be proud of her pupil without feeling sad about the
probable loss of her daughter.
Hope niggled at Laurie, then she tamped it back down. It was
Jacqui's decision, now, and only her decision. She had
promised that and she would keep her promise.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
7 months, 8 days A. T.
Okay, so how do I write *this* one down? The facts, ma'am,
just give us the facts.
Marcus and I went out tonight to a little party given by one
of my teammates. End of the season sort of thing - girls
bring a snack to share and the date of their choice. Well, I
got this wild idea to pick up Marcus instead of the other way
around. Mom was not best pleased (not lady-like enough, I
guess), but she went along with it in the end.
I put on that great new party dress she bought me last month.
The knee length skirt looks great on me, especially with the
special silky stockings I talked Mom into buying. Marcus
really thought so, anyway.
I picked him up in Mom's car - her car has bench seats in the
front so I could let him drive and then cuddle up to him like
I can't in either of our cars.
The party was great. We danced and talked with other kids,
and then we danced some more.
You know, this is the first date I have been on where Bonnie
was not at least in the vicinity. She is not on the team so
she did not get invited.
Anyway, after the party, we went off and *parked*. We really
steamed the windows there for a while. It would have gone a
lot further than it did, except I still wasn't brave enough to
venture forth without Mom's girdle on me. Poor Marcus was
really in a bad way, though. I could tell from how . . .
tight his slacks were around his pants fly. I remembered from
personal experience just how hard that is on a guy, and was
going to tell him to take me home. You know, so he could go
home and deal with that painful swelling like Jack used to
after a date. Merry Hand and her sisters, again.
But then I thought, hey, I probably know as much about doing
that as he does, and he has been such a nice guy, and wouldn't
it have been great if one of my girls had helped me reduce my
swelling back when I was Jack? After all, I caused it, didn't
I? And Mom says I *am* a healer.
Before he could start the car, I was back on him, kissing him
the way I know drives him crazy. He reacted as I expected.
His arms came around my back (I think that is so he won't be
tempted to cop a feel - sometimes he's just *too* nice. I
wonder what that feels like. Is it different when a guy does
it than when Bonnie does it?) Anyway, he started kissing me
Seventeen years of experience with one of my own had his
zipper down before he knew what was happening. I wasn't quite
so deft getting his cock out of there, but he wasn't exactly
fighting me, so it got done.
He's pretty big. My hands are a lot smaller than Jack's, but
I think he is a little longer and maybe a bit thicker than
Jack used to be. He was also *very* excited because he came
very quickly. I felt very smug about the whole thing. He was
a little dazed, but very, very happy, particularly when I
hinted that because of my "time of the month", he would not
have reciprocate. I don't think Marcus has any more real
experience with pleasuring girls than I, excuse me, than Jack
did. Looks like it is Merry Hand for me tonight, after all.
One thing though. What *does* a girl do with that slimy stuff
on her hand afterwards? Luckily, Mom had some tissues in the
glove compartment of her car. Guess I might need some in my
purse from now on. To think I used to do that to myself every
chance I got - when I was Jack, that is. Yuck.
End of Journal Entry
Bonnie silently crept into Laurie's room once Jacqui had
fallen asleep of sensual exhaustion. "Laurel, wake up! You
will never guess."
"Hmmm? Wha.." Laurie suddenly realized who it was. "Bronwyn!
What is it" Is something wrong? Why aren't you in bed with
"Nothing's wrong. Just listen. In her journal? She
masturbated her boyfriend to an orgasm the other night. Liked
doing it, too, she did." Bonnie was beaming with pride in her
young charge. "I bet she's planning to gloat about doing it
on her own if I tried to convince her it was an easy next
"Now what do we do?" Laurie whispered. "She is still not
ready to make love, yet. I am pretty sure she does not yet
accept what I told her about the effectiveness of birth
control for Transformed women. I think she is still operating
under the misconception that taking those little pills every
day is going to make a difference if she ever makes love with
"No problem. I am still inhibiting Marcus. If they try to go
all the way, he won't be able to maintain an erection. I will
figure out how to keep that from doing any long term damage to
either of them when it happens, but for now, that is our
"Precocious little minx, isn't she? Only six months old and
already a bit of a vamp." Laurie giggled to her friend.
"But only in the nicest sense of the word, you round-heeled
wench. How could she be anything else when she is *your*
daughter. Anyway, our plan is working. She is no longer
thought of as a tease at school and she is becoming more
femininely confident every day. I got to get back. Just
wanted you to know."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
8 months, 16 days A. T.
It is official. I am going to the Prom next month as the best
girl. At least, I am going as Marcus' best girl. He asked me
tonight and I said yes. Bonnie would insist, anyhow, and
besides I might as well admit it. I want to go and moreover,
I want to go with Marcus.
He's been pretty great as boyfriends go. I know Jack would
not have been so easily satisfied by the occasional hand job
after going steady with a girl for nearly 3 months. He likes
me and he listens to me. From what I can gather from the
other girls I have been palling around with, that is pretty
unusual. Was I, excuse me, was Jack that clueless about what
was going on in a girl's head when he was dating them?
Probably. Nothing like walking a mile in someone else's high
heels. Damn, but it has already been such a very long mile.
Oh well, just think how much in demand the new, more girl-
smart Jack Donovan will be with all the ladies once I get
myself back into my own skin, again.
You know? I think I will make my age just right to go after
Bonnie when I Transform back. I love her. A lot. I don't
want to lose her when I go back to being a guy, and I have the
advantage of knowing exactly what makes her happy, too. She
won't ever know what hit her.
Anyway, I was really pleased when he asked me. So was Mom
when I told her, only now, I wish I had kept it to myself.
She is gearing up for another mammoth shopping expedition only
this time, she says we are looking for *the* dress so it may
take more than one day of shopping. HELP!!! Why do women
*like* shopping? And if they have to shop, why does it have
to take *all day long*??? It's only another dress.
Well, maybe not. Marcus deserves a little treat for being
such a pal through all this. I want to knock his eyes out and
have him tripping over his tongue that night. One things for
sure, we are going to the places we went after Christmas and
not those places Mom took me to right after the
Transformation. We are talking classy, elegant, understated
sexiness, not brass and flash.
Good grief, what am I saying??
Oh, and another thing, Mom has started to teach me how to
dance. Real dancing - waltzing, cheek to cheek, guy holding
girl real close - that kind of stuff. It's kind of fun. She
says I should invite Marcus over so he can partner me in my
lessons. Hell, I am going to invite him over so he can learn
to dance, too. Mom has said I need to learn to dance in real
high heels for the prom, so Marcus needs to learn to dance or
he will learn to fear for his feet.
It feels good not to be so angry anymore. I have come to
accept that what Mom did, she did out of love. It is not her
fault that I did not want the gift she wanted to give. Having
her so pleased tonight, wanting to help so badly with the Prom
stuff . . . it was special - sort of like the old days when it
was just Mom and Jack, only different. Maybe even better.
She is trying so hard.
Tomorrow's a big day, too. I defend my chess championship.
Since I know I am unlikely to win, I am somewhat more relaxed
than I might otherwise be tonight. Last year, Jack did not
sleep for three nights before the tournament. The one hour
time limit on the preliminaries should favor me, but the two
hour limit for the rest of the matches means there are likely
to be middle games. I would like to place, though.
End of Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
8 months, 18 days A. T.
Tournament is over. I took fifth place overall. Highest
finishing girl, too, so that is something.
As I predicted, I managed to win my prelims fairly handily.
In both cases, I sacrificed my queen before blasting their
defenses with a rook/knight attack. Less than twenty moves in
both games. I won my first match in the bracket by teasing my
opponent into playing too fast. Again, it was over pretty
quickly and without any significant position play.
I lost in the quarter finals to the kid who won my school's
championship. He knows me well enough that he forced a long,
almost forty move game, and beat me in the middle game. Word
got out pretty fast after that not to let me get up a head of
steam, and I lost 2 of 3 matches in the consolation bracket.
Beat another girl in the match that I won to take fifth place.
Still, I am pretty pleased with myself.
End Journal entry.
Laurie found Jacqui in her little library, staring at her
chessboard. The fifth place medal rested in the center of the
board among the massed black and white forces. She looked up
and smiled at her Mother. "Hi, Mum."
Laurie pulled up another chair and settled beside the girl.
Putting an arm around her shoulder, she asked. "Are you very
disappointed that you did not repeat as champion?"
Jacqui leaned over and snatched up the medal by the neck
ribbon and examined it closely. Finally, she sighed. "No,
not really. Truthfully, I did not expect to win - especially
once I saw that I could no longer manage the middle game." her
brows furrowed. "Mom, I know I have asked this before, but
why can't I think anymore? Like I used to? Why is it so hard
Laurie started to repeat her evolutionary explanation, but
remembered a recent incident where Jacqui had helped her with
a computer printer problem. Maybe she would understand that
more easily. "Remember the other day when I called you in to
help me in my office? I was printing out something at the
time, and I was angry because something was wrong with my
computer. The screen was not keeping up with my typing."
A soft indulgent smile flickered across Jacqui's face. "You
were printing in background and trying to type at the same
Whatever that means, Laurie thought, then continued. "Right,
and you explained that by trying to print that way, I was
asking the computer to do two processes at once, but that
since there was only one CPU, or computer brain, both happened
slower. I had a choice, you said. I could do both at once
and accept the slowdown, or I could do only one at a time. I
could print faster or type faster, but could not do them both
"The program is effectively on hold until the CPU is done with
the print job." Jacqui put in.
"Exactly. Well, the program being on hold is the way you
thought as a male, dear. Anything that was extraneous to what
you were focused on simply ceased to exist for you. Women
don't get that choice, luv. Your brain is going to process
those little subliminal clues in addition to the overt
information you are working with. That is the way you are
wired, now, and unlike my computer, you cannot turn that on
and off to suit you. Since you still have only one brain,
though, so your intuitive thinking uses part of your
brainpower and effectively "slows" down your beloved rational
logic. I would say that it also affects the amount of memory
and other resources you can apply to that kind of serial
The girl seemed to consider this, then grinned. "Makes sense
to me. No upgrades available for this CPU, either." She
thought for a moment more. "You know. . . .The intuition
thing is probably part of the reason I am so much better in
end game, now. Some instinct seems to point at my opponent's
"A very good thing for a woman to be able to do, considering
that males are usually much stronger. Evolution again."
"It is all so strange, Mum. So much of what I used to think
of as being "me" is changed, and it is not just physical."
Laurie smiled gently. "Darling, being a woman is much, much
more than just the physical." She leaned over and kissed the
girl on her cheek. "I would say you have learned quite a bit
that will help you, dear, and learned it very well, indeed."
Jacqui became very quiet at that. She stared again at her
chessmen, and then at the medal she still held in her hand.
Then she smiled, and leaned her head on her Mother's shoulder.
For now, that was good enough for both women.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
8 months, 24 days A. T.
We found the dress, but it has to be fitted. Do you know what
that means? It means that some female with pins in her mouth
jabs them into various tender portions of my anatomy. I told
her that she was trying to fit it to me, not nail it to me.
The bitch only jabbed me harder the next time. I told Mom
that if there is one speck of blood on that dress, we are not
paying for it and I get something off the rack.
Then she told me that I had two, maybe three more fittings
before the dance.
End of Journal Entry
"I couldn't believe it, Bronwyn. *She* picked out the dress
and it is *perfect* on her. I would have had her in something
slinkier, perhaps younger looking, but Goddess, she looks
positively dangerous in this."
"Well, that is positive. Her journal still discusses going
back to being Jack," and Bronwyn was *not* going to discuss
what was currently motivating the girl with her Mother. Maybe
Bonnie was becoming *too* important to Jacqui. "but as long
as she is enjoying her little feminine adventures, we can
still hold out hope for her eventual acceptance of womanhood."
"It is so sad that she did not become as we did after our own
Transformation. All of us are losing out on so much because
of the way she feels."
Bronwyn nodded. "I think it may have been because she was
Transformed without ever having made love as a man. Neither
of us were virgins at the time of our entry into womanhood,
but Jack was. I think Jacqui resents that most of all, and it
may be why the enchantment did not ease the way for him as we
thought it should have. Our research Sisters are exploring
that possibility so that we can try and avoid further
occurrences this in the future."
Laurie just shook her head. "It is hard to believe that some
smart girl never tripped up my gorgeous, strong son and had
her wicked way with him before that time. What is wrong with
these girls of today, Bronwyn?" she asked facetiously.
"AIDS for one thing," she said quietly. "Every smart girl
knows that a broken condom can hold more than babies for her,
now. Besides, your son had a very full plate. Between sports
and school work, he did not have a lot of time to spend on a
girl, getting her to where she was confident enough of him
that he was worth the risk. I think those girls missed out,
but that is water over the dam, now."
"Are you going to the Prom, dear?" Laurie's eyes were
twinkling at her friend.
"Of course. He's a lovely boy and has done his tasks very
nicely." She grinned hungrily. "He might even get very lucky
afterwards as a reward. The exuberance and stamina of youth
make for an . . .interesting possibility or two. Should be a
lot of fun. Too bad he won't remember it once I no longer need
to be Bonnie." She sighed in mock dismay. "Still, the
training I will give him will stand him in good stead. Some
girl will be very lucky once she catches him after I am done
with him." Both women started laughing at that and they moved
on to other, more mundane topics.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
9 months, 2 days A. T.
What is worse than a dress-fitting at the hands of the very
sadistic Attila the Bun-sticker? A dress-fitting with that
evil bitch when you are also dealing a rough first day of your
period. The only thing that kept me going was the image of
losing my lunch all over her blue tinted hair and the only
thing that kept me swallowing hard not to do just that was the
off chance I might miss and ruin my dress.
End of Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
9 months, 5 days A. T.
I can't help wondering what I did to offend Mom's friend
Bronwyn. I am *not* imagining that she is avoiding me. She
and Mom were deep in some little tete a tete this evening when
I got home from visiting Tamika. Ten minutes later, she
remembers an important engagement and is off.
That little niggle sense Mum says I am supposed to pay
attention to is going crazy.
And another thing, when I said good bye to her, it was on the
tip of my tongue to call her something other than Ms.
Llewellyn, only whatever that was slipped into that nebulous
part of my head that works in "background".
Whatever it is, she is Mum's friend, and I need to fix
whatever is wrong if it is something I have done. Mum has a
hard enough time dealing with her gender confused child. She
does not need to lose a friend, too.
After the Prom, I think. Now all I have to do is figure out
how to get five minutes alone with the woman without her
turning tail and running for cover.
It was *much* easier to deal with stuff like this as a guy.
"Hey you" doesn't seem to work when you are only five feet six
inches tall and a 120 lbs.
End Journal Entry
Bronwyn, in her guise as Bonnie, was sitting in Jacqui's
library watching the girl work her own brand of magic with the
top-of-the-line PC on her desk. It fascinated Bronwyn to see
how easily her young friend found useful information with her
computer, or how quickly she did very complicated calculations
and reports on it. While she wasn't actually computer-phobic,
Bronwyn's use of a computer was mostly limited to word
processing in her "real-life" career as a novelist.
Now that she thought about it, very few of the Sisterhood's
members were technically oriented. Almost all of them were of
a more . . . humanistic bent in their mental workings. What
was that, left or right brained? Bronwyn couldn't remember,
but which ever side of the brain that dominated her thinking,
it was pretty clear that the opposite side was foremost with
the novice witch in front of the computer. She was staring at
the screen like it was a crystal ball. All Bronwyn could see
was line after line of totally incomprehensible and unrelated
letters and numbers scrolling down the screen. Finally,
Jacqui sat back in her chair, a smile on her face. "That's
got it." she said with evident satisfaction.
Bronwyn did not see anything on the screen that was at all
different from when Jacqui had declared it was a problem, and
said as much. "Oh ye of little faith." Jacqui intoned, and
then made a blazing-fast series of key strokes before hitting
the enter key with a maestro's flourish. The screen went dark
for a second or two before a picture of Bonnie and Jacqui
smiled up out of the screen.
"I don't know how you did that, since I know we never posed
together for that picture." She held up her hand to forestall
the expected explanation that she would not understand anyway.
"I *don't* want to know." she grinned down at her friend. Was
it possible that Jacqui's technical mind set was another piece
of the puzzle of why she fought her Transformation so hard?
Was there something in the way the dominant side of her brain
worked that made the reality of what happened to her so . . .
difficult for her to accept? She'd have to run that by the
research team, too. Whatever else came of this, the
Sisterhood was *not* going to go through so painful a
Transformation transition again.
"So, you all ready for the Prom?" she asked nonchalantly.
Jacqui's attention was back on the screen, working on some
other confusing list of equations and expressions. "Guess so.
The dress is done, thank goodness. Most of the pin holes in
me are even healed. I have had the shoes for a couple of
weeks now, and a good thing, too. I would have been lame in
an hour if I hadn't practiced walking in those stilts for the
past few days. How about you?"
"Oh, yeah. My mom finished making my dress the other day."
Another member of the Sisterhood had been drafted to act as
Bonnie's Mom on those days when one had been needed. Now, she
made a useful opening for a gambit that Bronwyn hoped would
work out for Jacqui and for Laurie. "We are going to make a
day of it, getting me ready for the big night. She is even
borrowing a video camera so she can record the whole day. She
is more excited than I am." Bronwyn let the hook dangle in
front of her prize fish and just wiggled the bait a bit.
Frowning, Jacqui turned to face her best friend. "Your Mom?
She's going to help you get ready? And it's going to take all
Here little fishy, Bronwyn thought, just take a itty-bitty
taste. I promise you will just love it. "You bet. She
practically begged me to let her do it. It is going to be
great. She is going to spend the day pampering me and I am
going to look fabulous when she is done. And Jeremy is going
to go nuts when he sees me." She preened for her audience
because she knew she had Jacqui's complete attention. "Yeah,
it is going to be really great."
Jacqui sat there, her hands unmoving on the keyboard. "You
say that Moms really like doing that kind of stuff?"
Gotcha! Bronwyn thought with a hidden smile. Time to reel
this prize in. "Yes. It is a special time for Moms, seeing
their daughters all turned out and helping them get ready.
Except for her daughter's wedding day, I think Prom Night is
the most special time a Mom ever shares with her daughter."
"Really." Jacqui said distractedly. Then, she shook herself
and returned her attention to the computer program on her
screen. "Well, let's get this done so we can go get some
dinner." And she started typing out more of those strange,
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
9 months, 9 days A. T.
If, as Bonnie assured me, that Prom Night is a special time
for Moms - why hasn't mine asked to help beyond the buying of
the dress and stuff?
Because she knows how much you hate all this femme-stuff,
dummy. Thanks, Jack, I needed that kind reminder.
Only, I don't think I do, anymore.
Not as much anyway. Maybe.
End of Journal Entry
A Change of Direction
Jacqui slept late the morning of the Prom. She intentionally
did not set her alarm until noon because she knew it was going
to be a very late night. She got out of her bed with a bounce
and headed for her armoire to get some clothes when she
stopped herself. She looked at her reflection in the mirror.
Sleep ruffled, her tousled mane of hair gave her a look that
Jack found very sexy. The long, satiny nightgown hugged her
youthful curves like a glove and Jack liked that even more.
She sat down, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she
decided if she really was going to do this.
Finally, scolding herself for her lack of conviction, and
determined to do what needed to be done, she pulled on the
matching, filmy peignoir, her high heeled slippers and headed
down to the kitchen.
Her Mother was doing something at the stove when she came down
that smelled wonderful. "About time you got up, lazybones,
you have a lot to d. . ." She stopped talking when she turned
to face her daughter, surprised at seeing her still in her
pretty night clothes. "Uhmm, aren't you afraid you won't be
ready in time for Marcus waiting so long to get started?"
Heavens, but she was lovely, Laurie thought again. Why
couldn't the girl see that and treasure that? "I know you
don't think much of the little female rituals, dear, but there
is a lot to do to get ready for a special night."
Coughing to clear her throat, Jacqui smiled shyly at her
Mother. "Sort of thought there might be, Mum. I was, uhh,
wondering if you could help me get ready?" The dumbfounded
and unabashed hope that lit her Mother's eyes made Jacqui's
insides hurt. Quickly, she rushed on, otherwise one or both
of them would be crying. "I, uh, still don't know how to do
up my hair and face as well as you do, and I was thinking,
maybe you'd take some video of the whole shebang? I might
want. . . memories . . . later." She'd almost said "when I am
a man again, but had stopped herself just in time. That would
start the hurting again."
A painfully joyous smile lit Laurie's face. "I could do
that." she whispered. "I would really like to do that." She
added. Then, before she could start bawling, Laurie spun back
to the stove. "I am making your favorite breakfast of
blueberry pancakes. I don't expect you will want to eat later
today. So, sit yourself down. You will need nourishment if
I'm going to be getting you ready."
"What ever have I let myself in for?" Jacqui laughed as she
settled into the chair with a swirl of silk. Thank you,
Bonnie, she thought. Thank you very much.
Jacqui was not *quite* so grateful seven hours later as she
waited impatiently for the arrival of her date. Laurie had
been a task-mistress of the first order from the moment she
had set the stack of pancakes in front of her daughter.
Jacqui had been sent back to her bath twice to re-shave her
legs. "The stockings are real silk, dear. We don't want
pulls, now do we?" she'd asked ever-so-sweetly.
Then there was the four or five attempts to get her nail color
*just* right, or the three different hair arrangements or the
untold different makeup attempts. "You do want it to be
perfect, don't you darling?" And of course, Jacqui did, for
her Mom as much or more than for herself.
One problem, however, had been Laurie's quite literal
interpretation of "videotaping the whole shebang". Jacqui had
good naturedly chased her Mother out of the bathroom when she
was getting ready for her soak in the tub, but she had needed
to put her foot down when Laurie reached for the camcorder as
Jacqui prepared to put on her lingerie. "Mom! I might want
to share this with someone other than family someday, okay?
Let's try not to turn it into a reverse strip tease?"
That had earned an embarrassed laugh from Laurie who had then,
reluctantly, put down the camera to help her daughter put on
the slinky wisps of satin and silk they'd bought to go with
the dress. Looking at herself in the mirror as she stood
there, arrayed in a red silk camisole and matching thong
panties set, Jacqui thought it would be nice to have some
lingerie shots of herself when she was Jack again. Although,
she admitted, there would be something perverse about getting
horny looking at the picture of a girl while knowing that you
had been the girl.
Finally, they put on the dress. Made of shimmering red and
black silks, the design of the calf length, off the shoulder
formal dress had been derived from Romany styles. The vivid
colors accented Jacqui's complexion and the tightly fitted
bodice was cut to show just the right amount of creamy breast
and cleavage. The tight waist flowed into a full skirt that
would swirl teasingly as Jacqui danced and spun about the
floor. With her hair teased full and tied off in a bright red
satin bandanna, the large, clip-on (she'd still paled at the
thought of getting her ears pierced) earrings, and her
Mother's cosmetic artistry, Jacqui was done over into the
living image of her gypsy Great Great Great Grandmother.
The final scene in Laurie's video production was a shot of the
stunned stare on Marcus's face as he watched Jacqui slowly,
regally descend the stairs. Jacqui's quick kiss and "Thanks
for everything, Mom." finally sent Laurie over the edge. She
spent the rest of her night watching the video of *their* day
together again and again, weeping happily over each
unexpected, precious gift her daughter had surprised her with
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
9 months 12 days A. T.
What a remarkable day yesterday was. I feel like Eliza
Doolittle. "...I could have danced all night..."
The Prom was a lot of fun, particularly since both Marcus and
I knew how to really dance.
And I am feeling very smug and righteous about doing the girl-
thing with Mom yesterday. I may not have been born or meant
to be a girl, and I am not likely to stay one any longer than
I have to, but Jacqui made Mom happy yesterday. And it wasn't
so very difficult. Maybe if I do things like that a little
more often with her, fight her on things like that a little
less, it won't be so hard on her when she no longer has
I also went a lot farther with Marcus yesterday than I ever
intended to go. I went down on him. Yes, that is what I
said. I, Jacqueline Donovan, formerly Jack Donovan, am now
*officially* a cocksucker. Actually, that is really a crude
term for something that made me feel pretty good inside
because it made Marcus feel so good.
It was nothing like I expected it to be. Sort of hard and
sort of velvety soft, all at the same time. As to the taste,
well, it was just sort of salty. In all honesty, I am not
really sure why I did it. It started out to be another hand
job, but I was just so . . .so high after the dancing and the
music, and he'd just been so great to me, I just sort of gave
him a little kiss on his little head while a stroked his
erection. Next thing I knew, I had the whole head in my mouth
and he was groaning like he was in heaven. The way he
responded to what I did with my mouth made me feel so
incredibly powerful, so very, very strong. I never remember
feeling that kind of power when I was Jack. Made my panties
rather damp, actually.
Marcus wasn't shy about kissing me afterwards, either. No
silly worries about being a cocksucker by proxy in my lad, and
he told me he understands about me not being ready to "go all
the way". Says he wants to learn to "do the same thing" for
me. Does a guy do it differently than a girl, like Bonnie,
does it? In any case, I think I will keep him, at least as
long as I am Jacqui. He is really a good guy. I wonder if we
would have been friends if I had met him as Jack? He's not
into the same sports as I am... was.
And on a very positive note - *if* as I suspect, that making
love with a guy is a critical step in my "acclimating as a
woman" - I don't think that is quite so far out of the
question, now. It still makes my stomach a bit queasy, but it
is "butterflies in the tummy" queasy and not "oh god, not
that" queasy. It is still a bit scary, but I think I can see
my way clear to overcoming that particular road block to
learning the Transformation Spell.
All things considered - It was a lovely day.
End Journal Entry
It was a surprisingly refreshed and awake Jacqui came down
from her room the next morning. Jacqui was surprised to find
her Mother's friend, Bronwyn, sitting in the kitchen drinking
a cup of tea, alone. She was even more surprised when Bronwyn
did not gulp down her tea and bolt. Maybe I am just over-
reacting, she thought.
Still not seeing her Mother, Jacqui greeted Bronwyn with her
best smile. "Hi, Ms. Llewellyn. Good morning. Is my Mom
Bronwyn smiled a the girl and offered her some tea. "She had
to make a quick run to the store. Something about not having
strawberries or some such thing."
Jacqui turned to the stove to get the tea. "Oh, she is
planning her special shortcake for dinner, Bonn..." Confused,
Jacqui stuttered to a stop and spun to look at Bronwyn. "I
mean, Ms. Llewellyn." Something about Bronwyn caught her eye,
had put her in mind of Bonnie, and she had nearly called her
that. But that was silly. Bronwyn was a good four or five
inches taller than the pixie tall Bonnie, and she was not
nearly as . . . busy as her superbly endowed school friend.
"Is something the matter, Jacqui?" Bronwyn asked, cocking her
head to one side.
"N...n.no. Nothing. Just a silly mixup is all." But that is
*just* the way Bonnie holds her head when she is asking me
something. Now hold on girl, she thought, what you are
thinking is just plain impossible, she told herself sternly,
but just as suddenly stopped herself in mid-argument.
Now "impossible" is a mighty strange word for you to be
applying to any situation, Jacqueline who used to be Jack, she
thought. And every instinct you possess is screaming
Taking a shaky sip of the tea, she told herself to think
clearly, and to examine *all* the facts. Who was Bonnie? She
only knew what Bonnie had told her. And as soon as Bonnie
showed up, things began to get easier for her. Who helped her
with clothes and makeup when she was fighting with her Mom?
Who helped start healing that breach? Who was always there to
give her a little hint or to correct her before she made a
humiliatingly masculine error? The answer was always the
same. Bonnie. Who found Marcus and all but dared her to go
out with him. Again, the answer was Bonnie.
It also made sense that, if Bonnie was really Bronwyn, that
maybe she'd decided to play it safe, and keep a low profile
Was it within her Mother's power to find someone to be her
friend and confidante? Would her Mother do anything she could
to help her daughter once she realized just how badly the
Transformation had gone? The answer to each of those
questions was a resounding yes.
Suddenly, all doubts disappeared from Jacqui's mind. If
Laurie could Transform Jack into Jacqui, then Bonnie had to be
Bronwyn, and Bronwyn was of the coven or whatever it was that
group of her Mother's was called themselves. Now, the big
question was whether she should be angry about the deception?
Hadn't the ruse given her help she needed but would not accept
from her Mother?
And then that answer became equally clear to her. She should
be angry only if Bonnie/Bronwyn was not really her friend.
She'd be angry only if *all* of it had been a deception.
Otherwise, Bonnie/Bronwyn was exactly what she seemed to be -
the friend she had needed. The very special friend who had
always been there for Jacqui whenever she had needed her.
Taking a deep breath to soothe her fluttering stomach, Jacqui
looked the older woman straight in the eye. "Hello, Bonnie-
love. How are you this morning?"
Bronwyn nearly responded out of habit, without thinking,
before it hit her that she wasn't wearing her "Bonnie-skin".
Eyeing the girl speculatively, she made a quick assessment of
whether she could bluff her way through this or not. A
telepathic check of Jacqui's public mind put paid to that
idea. The girl was absolutely certain. Somehow, she had
taken all the disparate information and put it together into
the truth. Impressed by Jacqui's powers of intuition if not
her timing, Bronwyn smiled weakly at her friend. "Hello
yourself, Jacqui." Suddenly, the reason behind the girl's
suddenly greatly enhanced perceptions came to Bronwyn.
Smiling slyly, she said "You must have gone a whole lot
further sexually last night than you ever have before." She
had decreased the strength of the inhibition that she had
imposed on Marcus in preparation for last night. Enough so he
could press his suit a little harder, but not so much that he
wouldn't take "no" for an answer if it came to that. Still,
Bronwyn had not expected much to come of that. She'd *thought*
she knew Jacqui well enough to predict how far the girl was
ready to go with her fellow. "Well, you sure surprised me.
So, tell me. Did you have sex with him?" She did not think
she'd reduced the inhibition that far, but Jacqui could be a
very inventive little minx when she was turned on, as Bronwyn
A smug smile lit the lovely face. "That is for me to know,
Grinning at her impudence, Bronwyn shook her head. "No, luv, I
need to know, and please, call me Bronwyn when I am in this
skin. I know it is hard, but it is also safer." If the girl
had gone all the way with Marcus, Laurie needed to know now so
they could determine if Jacqui had gotten pregnant.
"Thank you." Bronwyn raised an brow in silent demand and
Jacqui gave in with a smile. "We didn't go all the way. I,
uh, gave him fella... umm fella...." frustration at being
unable to remember the technical term set off Jacqui's temper.
"Oh hell, I sucked him off." she blurted.
Amused at her embarrassment, Bronwyn hid her smile behind her
teacup. "Oh did you? Enjoyed it, too, didn't you?" Jacqui's
angry flush deepened into a blush. "Did you swallow?" she
Coloring even more brightly at the blunt question, Jacqui
answered anyway. "It wasn't bad. And what else could I do
with it? I might have gotten his sperm all over my dress,
otherwise." then she relaxed and giggled impishly. "He
squealed like a pig when I brought him off." she offered
"A man usually does, dear, when a lovely woman gives him that
gift. Particularly the first time a woman does it for him. I
am sure Jack would have, too."
All the color drained from the girl's face. "That's something
I may never know, Bronwyn. Jack never experienced that, and
now, he may not ever get the chance." Taking a deep breath,
she pressed on. "Do you . . . do you know . . . everything?
What my Mom did to me? What she did to Jack?"
Solemnly, Bronwyn nodded. "Are you better about it, now?
About your Mom?"
Her good mood dissolved, and Jacqui nodded dejectedly as she
poured more tea. "Mostly, anyway. I still wish she hadn't
done it. I wish I understood why she felt she had to do that
to me. What she hoped to gain by it." her voice fell to a
whisper. "What it was about Jack that was not good enough for
"Nothing!" Bronwyn's strident voice cut through Jacqui's
depression. "There was nothing wrong with you as Jack. You
must never think that what she did was any kind of unthinking,
accidentally cruel whim on your Mother's part when she
"Then why, Bronwyn? Why take my whole life, turn it inside
out and leave me in a world that I did not ask for" Why?
What right did she have to take away the life I knew and
Compassionately, Bronwyn put her hand across to hold Jacqui's.
"Your Mother is a member of a group that I also belong to,
Jacqui. We call ourselves the Sisterhood. We sensed great
power in you, and a great potential to use that power for
good. Therefore, because we thought the Transformation was
the best way" and actually, the only way, she admitted to
herself, "for all concerned, we took the responsibility upon
ourselves. We elected to use this specific Transformation to
expose you that power and to help motivate you to learn to
wield the power yourself."
"So, like my Mom, you see nothing wrong with what you had her
do to me, Bronwyn? Well, you can tell yourselves that what
you did was for the best, or that it was not an unkind or
unfair thing to do to me. You can go ahead and tell
yourselves all that; just don't expect me to agree with you.
You took away my dream. I wanted to play college ball. I had
a promise from the coach at BC that he would offer me a
scholarship to play big time college basketball there. Now I
will never know if I would have been good enough to make it.
I will always wonder, and regret not having had my chance."
Of course, Bronwyn knew all this. Laurel had cried herself to
sleep in her arms every night for weeks, furiously berating
herself for doing her duty to the Sisterhood. Bronwyn simply
did not understand it. How could any caring person want
basketball more than having the power to help people? "Seems
like a small dream to me, compared to what you could become
and to the things you could accomplish with your life now that
you have been Transformed." Bronwyn said in a matter of fact
tone that suggested Jacqui should stop whining. "Besides, you
are going to college in any case. The Sisterhood is paying
all your expenses to any college you want to attend. Staying
in town to go to school was purely your own choice, you know."
"But it was my dream, Bronwyn. With the emphasis on the *my*
and the emphasis on the *was*." Jacqui's voice was hoarse with
suppressed emotion. "Even when I do manage to undo this . .
this change, nothing will be the same as it would have been or
could have been. Even if I change back to the way I was, to
the age I was at the moment of Transformation, who will
remember Jack Donovan then? Who will offer him a scholarship
to play ball? Will your Sisterhood willingly expend the power
necessary to give me back the life history I did not actually
get a chance to live during the years I was a female? It is
one thing to change records so that a John becomes a
Jacqueline who has mostly the same history as the pre-
Transformed male. I bet it is another thing entirely to invent
a whole lifetime of records and memories for the rest of the
world." She stopped to look at Bronwyn and saw the grudging
agreement in her expression. "Thought so. And another thing,
this doing-good-for-others thing of yours. If that is your
dream, I accept it - for you, but it wasn't and isn't my
dream. I am not sure I even have dreams anymore. I don't
want yours and I can't have mine."
The girl understood far more than Bronwyn had expected or
wanted her to understand. The Sisterhood could accomplish
many things, but what Jacqui would need to become Jack again
and play in a major college program was simply too complex a
conjuring for them to undertake with any hope of complete
success. And complete success is precisely what they would
have to achieve because even the smallest mistake would lead
to questions he could not answer. The Sisterhood would also
risk discovery if they took such precipitous action on his
behalf. He was correct. There was nothing they could do that
would give back what she claimed they had taken from her.
Claimed, nothing, Bronwyn thought bitterly. They *had* stolen
her dreams because the Sisterhood, in its arrogance, had
weighed Jack's dream against their need and found the dream
wanting. "We have wronged you terribly, then. You still
intend to reverse the Transformation at the earliest
A sad bleak look. "I don't know, Bronwyn. My feelings on
Jack versus Jacqui run the whole spectrum. Most times, my
answer is not only yes, but *HELL YES*, Transform me back -
yesterday! But as we just discussed, the dream that drove me
most of my high school life is lost to me. When I think of it
that way, I just feel like saying "the hell with it". I will
have to start essentially from scratch in either case. Then,
there are those rare times, like immediately after making love
with you, for example. In those moments, I actually think that
there is a chance that my life as Jacqui might be even better
than my life as an un-Transformed Jack could have been. And I
hate to admit this - because I detest such weakness in myself
- there are those other times?" Jacqui lifted her brows at
Bronwyn as her voice dropped even lower, "Those very lonely,
scary dark times when I feel there is no place in this world
for Jack or Jacqui, anymore - times when I just want it all to
"END?!?!?" Fear clogged Bronwyn's throat and made the words a
squeak. "As in the *final* end?" The girl nodded jerkily.
"Oh, Jacqui, you mustn't. It would destroy your Mother. She
was not alone in this. It was not her decision alone to
Transform you and then limit your options so severely
afterwards. We of the Sisterhood did it with her; *we* asked
her to Transform you; *we* told her that it was the correct
thing to do. *We* told her to craft the spell so that only
you, with the fullness of your own power, could undo the
Transformation. If you . . " Bronwyn had to brace herself
before she could even say it aloud, "do yourself harm over
this, because of what *we* asked her to do to you, it will
kill her. She is a healer."
"I know that. It is what stopped me the one time I came close
to . . doing it, and why I won't do it in the future. I love
her. She is my Mum."
In a very quiet voice. "She likes hearing that from you very
"I know that, and I try to say it to her often. It is just
that sometimes, I can't get past the bitterness and the hurt."
"Hurting goes both ways, luv. You are both healers. Perhaps
you could heal each other?"
"I don't know, Bronwyn. Maybe. After yesterday, I think we
can. I have the entire, long summer to decide."
You have the summer now that you have forced your Mother to
set aside her damnable plan to sacrifice her life so you could
have your male life back, Bronwyn thought gratefully. "So what
will you do? About the magic and mastering the Transformation
"Continue with it as best I can. As you know, I am not going
away for college, so I can continue taking instruction with
Mother. Maybe I will figure it out sooner or later. When I
do, I want the option of being able to act upon the option."
Then, Jacqui remembered the question she wanted answered
immediately after she penetrated Bronwyn's disguise as Bonnie.
"So what happens now that I know the truth about you?"
"What do you mean, luv?"
"I will miss Bonnie. She was my only real friend. Is she, or
rather, are you going to just disappear from my life, now?"
Bronwyn was on her feet in a flash and pulled the girl into a
tight embrace. "Goddess above, what an awful idea. Bonnie or
Bronwyn, I love you, Jacqui. You are important to me. I will
always be with you. In fact, now that you are strong enough
to see through my disguise, I can undertake to help your Mom
in your training. There are some aspects of the craft that I
am much better at than she is."
"But what about . . ." she broke off, embarrassed to even
continue the question.
Bronwyn arched back so she could see into the girl's eyes.
"What about. . . what, dear?"
Blushing furiously, but refusing to be deterred from something
so important to her. "What about sex. . . I mean, making
The light went on in Bronwyn's mind. She pulled the girl back
to her and kissed her fiercely. When they were both
breathless and heatedly aroused, she broke the kiss and rasped
"Does *that* answer your question, you silly girl? I love you
and I want you, and the only way to keep me out of your bed is
to kick me out. Got that?"
A foolish grin lit Jacqui's face. "Got it, and after that
kiss, I have something else, too. A burning need. Care to
join me upstairs to stoke that fire a little before we put it
out?" She held out a hand which the older woman
enthusiastically took in her own. "It will be interesting to
find out if an older lady like you can keep up with me." she
Bronwyn's mouth fell open in stunned amazement. "Why you
little . . ." Her mouth snapped shut as an evil sparkle lit
her eyes. "Well, I can tell it is time to start teaching you
things that Bonnie was afraid would scare you off screaming to
your Mommy. Come along, Miss Smartie Britches. I am going to
indoctrinate you into the more sexy aspects of spanking. *You*
need one." And then Bronwyn began to drag a suddenly
uncertain Jacqui upstairs by her ear.
A Change of Direction
An Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
9 months 12 days A. T.
Bronwyn is Bonnie and Bronwyn is also one of Mom's witch pals.
She is also sexy as hell, just not so blatantly built as
Bonnie. Her beauty sneaks up on you. She's just so. . .
sleek-looking. Her breasts are small, but they fit so neatly
in my hands and are they ever sensitive. I made her cum just
by licking and nuzzling them, today.
She *spanked* me. Lit a fire in my insides, let me tell you,
and with my *own* hair brush, too. I never thought getting
your bottom whacked could be sexy, but it sure was. She
actually made me orgasm by spanking alone. Okay, so my
clitoris was bouncing off her knee in rhythm to the swats, but
still, it sure shocked the hell out of me.
And that is not the only thing that shocked me. Guess who
came back from the store while I was getting my butt whaled?
I must admit to not being a stoic. I was screaming my head
off when Mom came charging to my rescue.
I really tried to get up off Bron's knees so I could go hide,
but the sneak wouldn't let me up. Mom recovered a lot quicker
than I did, making some pithy remark about being "de trops"
and asking if it was "a private party, or can anyone join in?"
Me? I was too stunned to say anything, but Bronwyn just
invited her to come in and get comfortable.
She did get comfortable, if you consider being *naked* to be
comfortable, really quick. Next thing I know, she has her oh-
so-very cool hand resting on my fiery hot butt and is trailing
her fingers in between my legs. I tried to close them, but I
was too late. She had a firm finger-hold on my clit.
They can talk all they want to about a hard dick having no
conscience. I can now state with some authority that a hot
clitoris doesn't have much of a conscience, either.
On second thought, is that aspect something unique to me, and
my still male based view of sex and sexuality? I mean, when I
get horny, I get horny. Instead of getting an erection,
though, a whole different range of physical reactions happen
now, but in my head, I am still *horny*. And I trust Mom and
Bronwyn, so I felt safe, if a little immoral when Mom joined
the party. I don't know how I would react if a really good
looking older woman that I did not know and trust like I do
with Mom started to play with me like that. Somehow, I don't
think I would liked it or responded to her as I did to Mom.
How Jack might have reacted is a completely different matter.
I can't say for certain how I would have reacted as Jack if
that same good looking older lady came on to him because it
never happened. What I *think* would have happened is that
she could have led me anywhere she wanted to, as long as she
had a firm grip on Jack's penis. Maybe being six foot four
inches tall and weighing 220 lbs has something to do with
that. I could trust myself in those situations, then.
Trusting someone is much more important to me as Jacqui than
it was as Jack. It is harder, too.
Mom makes love very nicely. She is so incredibly giving. I
practically had to hold her down to make her let me
reciprocate. That was fun, too. I liked feeling her fight
and squirm as I tried to hold her still on the bed. I wonder
if witches play with ropes and chains? If Mom is going to be a
regular in my bed, I sure would like to see how she looked all
stretched out and helpless.
Is that residual anger talking? Lord, I hope not. Besides,
she really would look sexy as hell that way. Mom is built! I
wonder why Jack never noticed that before?
Before I forget it. I am going to make sure I get spanked
again. I wonder if Mom and Bronwyn like being spanked, too.
Hmmmm.. that leaves another very interesting question I need
to consider. What would Marcus think of spanking games?
Well, he is a lot stronger and a lot less experienced than
Bronwyn. I am not sure I want my butt to be the one he learns
on. Learning implies making mistakes which I would prefer
*not* be made on *my* tender little backside. I think I will
table that idea for awhile. Unless. . . . I wonder how Marcus
would feel about *getting* a spanking? A little oral reward
for his bravery under fire, perhaps? Mmmmmmmm. I *like* that
idea. I have been wondering about what his butt looks like up
close. So far, all I've seen bare is his front.
You can come back, Jack. I am through fantasizing for a
while. Bronwyn is going to teach me how to work some of what
she calls "the deception magicks", too. From what I gather,
that entails illusions and what she calls "shape-shifting".
That is evidently what she did when she became Bonnie. She
told me that shape-shifting is different from Transforming in
that the essential things (like gender) remain unchanged. It
is more like a very good Halloween costume than a
Transformation. After I learn that, I guess I could look like
Jack, and I could cast an illusion that would give me the
appearance of male genitalia, but I would still be a girl and
I would still have all the female plumbing.
Not sure what good knowing that stuff will do me, but Bronwyn
assured me that it is all part of learning what I will need to
know so that I can do what I have to do. She also told me she
knows about my wishes with respect to becoming Jack again, and
that she has promised my Mom to help me all she can.
Why doesn't that make me feel as good as it ought to make me
End Journal Entry.
The Brotherhood's new Chief of Investigations and Information
came into Lancaster's office. The old one had not learned the
names of the Sisterhood's leadership quickly enough to suit
the High Leader and had paid for his failure with his
protracted and very painful death. The new man rued his
former superior's failure because it meant that he was now the
man on the hot seat and he was not any closer than his
departed boss had been to finding the answers the High Leader
demanded. He only hoped that this chance bit of information
would buy him a little more time.
Lancaster looked up and gave the man a withering look. "Yes?
What is it?"
"Sir, we have been keeping a loose surveillance on that family
in San Bernadino per your orders. Periodically, we run
computer checks of the local databases in that area, trying to
find irregularities that might give hints of Sisterhood
Lancaster knew all that. He'd given that fool who'd failed
him those precise orders personally. "So?" he snarled,
pleased to see this new lackey quail before his power.
Fighting to keep his voice from quavering, the chief
continued. "Sir, we have found an abnormality during one of
scans of the school district computers for the school the
daughter attends. Only it does not relate to her directly, but
rather, to the friend she has spent so much time with over the
course of the year."
Intrigued in spite of himself, Lancaster sat back and settled
to listen. "Proceed." he ordered.
"Yes sir. Two weeks ago, and in all previous scans of that
computer, records existed for one Bonnie Maria Davis. On
further review of other machines in the local area, similar
entries in that name were also found. This was verified using
your own Dark Power sealed computer records, sir. Yesterday's
scan showed no signs that such a person ever existed, either
at the school or in any other system that had previously
contained record of her. Furthermore, upon a scan of the
Social Security System computers, we found that there never
was any entry corresponding to this person."
Lancaster brooded for a while on that. "Analysis?"
"Speculation only, sir. We believe that for reasons known
only to themselves, the Sisterhood has sent one of their own,
disguised as another teen, to support the daughter in some
way. We don't have a lot of data on Sisterhood procedures for
guiding the transition of one of their new Sisters, but what
intelligence we do have suggests that such an intervention is
not the norm and should be regarded as irregular."
Lancaster digested that. That analysis meshed with what he
thought about the situation. And if the bitches did have to
bring in extra help with this one, what did that mean? Was it
in someway significant? Was she or the mother someone special
in the Sisterhood, or was this transition simply particularly
difficult? What if, given the scanty nature of the
Brotherhood's data on the subject, that this additional
intervention was actually not uncommon? What if the
Brotherhood had simply missed the presence of the supporting
Sister acting as a safety net for the one in transition before
this? No, Lancaster mused, this *was* something different,
and unexpected. There was something there he could use
against them, he just did not yet know what it was. He would
be patient. He still was not ready in all respects to go up
against the Sisterhood.
"Maintain your surveillance." he snapped out the order. "Pay
particular attention to who comes and goes at the woman's
house. Let me know instantly if the missing woman reappears.
I don't think she will, but we must be ready if she does."
Yes, there was something out of the ordinary here. "Good Job,
Chief. See that you continue to do as well. You are
Lancaster savored the pleasure of watching the man scurry out
of his office like a frightened rabbit.
A Change of Direction
Graduation day finally arrived and Jacqui took the top honors
in Science and Mathematics. She missed out on one of the top
three slots overall because her single minded focus in her
strong areas resulted in a couple of "B"'s in other courses.
Still, she and her Mother were proud of her accomplishments.
Jacqui's only real regret was that Bonnie, as Bronwyn, was
seated in the auditorium as a guest and was not beside her on
Only after the ceremony had concluded and she had joined her
Mom and Bronwyn for the reception did Jacqui realize how
remarkable that fact was. Her *only* regret about this day's
events had nothing to do with the circumstances of her
Transformation, but rather with the simple fact that she
missed a presence that only she and her Mother now remembered.
Pensively, she tried to reconcile that with how she had
thought she'd feel. Perhaps, she thought, I feel this way
because *this* part of my life was really not changed. Heck,
Jack probably would have not done as well as I did, since he
would have had a lot more distractions to deal with, given the
NCAA offer and all. No, this day, in any case, she was where
she would have been, regardless of the Transformation, and it
really did not make a difference to her that she was wearing a
dress and heels instead of a suit and tie.
Happily, she posed with her friends from the basketball team,
and other girls she had grown fond of over the year. Tamika
was there in a cast, but she was there. Jacqui felt proud of
her part in that.
She posed with Marcus, and even slipped in a little kiss that
her Mother dutifully caught on film. But the best picture of
all, was the one Marcus took of her, standing between her Mom
and Bronwyn. What made that picture so special was so simple
it was complicated. In that instant Jacqui knew, that
regardless of what she did or decided, she would forever after
treasure that picture and that memory. Her Mom. Her Best
Friend. Herself. All of them together and happy.
The festivities and celebration went long into the night,
ending with the three exhausted women snuggled together in
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
10 months 17 days A. T.
I am a High School Graduate.
Mom and Bronwyn went out of their way to make the day extra
special and the gifts were wonderful. Bronwyn gave me a
"blank check" for the laptop computer of my choice for
college, since she was "certain she'd buy exactly the wrong
Mom gave me a gift certificate at the clothing store she knows
I like so that I can go buy my own college clothes. Said she
trusted my taste and wanted me to be comfortable at college.
She also said that I had learned everything I need to know
about being a "very girly-type girl". I *think* that she
intended that to be a compliment. Knowing Mom, it probably
was although Jack is still squirming over it.
I cast my first solo illusion spell today, too. I wasn't mean
about it, either. Although I did want to do something to that
damn principal. I thought about it, too. I still wonder what
would have happened if everyone in the auditorium saw him in a
miniskirt. Mom would have had conniptions, though. So, I did
a nice thing, instead. One of the really lonely guys at
school got a kiss on the cheek today from the girl he has a
horrendous crush on. Which he would not have gotten otherwise
because she is a snooty, stuck-on-herself bitch. Actually, it
was me. Since I am a girl, the "fool the eye-only" limitation
on illusions was not a problem. Even if my looks were the
only thing altered, and only in the eyes of my beholders, a
girl still feels like a girl when you get hugged. And since a
lot of folks saw "me"/her do it, she is having to pretend to
like the guy or get teased mercilessly by her "ours doesn't
stink" clique of friends. He's a nice person - maybe some of
that will rub off on her.
I am going to try another, more complicated illusion later on,
for my eyes only.
Oh, I forgot my best present. Mom demanded to know my most
secret fantasy. I think I shocked her when I mumbled
something about tying her to the bed, but she went right along
with it. I was right, though, she *is* beautiful all
stretched out tight like that. Her skin is so different from
mine, all golden and light where I look like a beach bunny
with an all over tan. I loved watching the play and strain of
her muscles under her glistening skin as Bronwyn and I pulled
her tight with the scarves we used to tie her up. Frankly
though, once I had her that way, I was at something of a loss
as to what to do next. Fortunately, Bronwyn was not at a
loss. She had these incredible, long feathers with her. I
never knew that Mom was *that* ticklish or that you could make
someone climax from tickling.
I found out those little facts later in the evening, first
hand. Mom's not the only ticklish member of this family who
can be forced to an orgasm (okay, *several* orgasms) with
tickle torture. Mom exacted her revenge on me as soon as we
set her loose. She and Bronwyn ganged up on me (so what if I
did not fight *too* hard) and had me gasping with laughter -
and orgasms in very short order. Love and Laughter - it is
not a bad combination. I would never have thought so as Jack.
I wonder if that was because of my male ego or my male
Bronwyn slipped out of getting her turn with the feathers,
though. Mom and I were just too shagged to take her down
after they'd finished with me, but I have an excellent memory.
An excellent imagination, too, and the mental image of the
cool, reserved Bronwyn nearly peeing her panties in laughter
is too much to resist.
You know what? I just realized. I am actually happy.
End of Journal Entry.
Laurie decided to take advantage of Jacqui's apparent absence
to take a peek in her room. She needed to check out her
daughter's wardrobe for any missing college necessities.
Without announcing herself in any way, Laurie entered her
daughter's supposedly empty room.
And nearly had her heart stop.
There, standing in front of the mirror, was the son she had
not seen in nearly a year. She almost spoke his name aloud,
but her heart was beating so fast, she could not get the word
out. She just stood there, looking at him. How had he done
it? Had Bronwyn discovered a way to break her enchantment?
Perhaps by calling upon the sum total of the entire
Sisterhood's power, her friend had found a way to break that
benighted, misguided spell.
Odd how he looked now - easily recognizable as her son, but
different somehow. What was it, she wondered. Then it hit
her. The skin color - it was the color of Jacqui's skin, the
dark olive tones of their gypsy ancestors and not the lighter
skin shade of Jack's Scandinavian father. It was then that
Jack noticed her reflection in the mirror. "Looks all wrong,
doesn't it, Mom?" came the soft alto voice of her daughter.
An instant later, her son was again replaced by the daughter
he had become. "I can't even remember how I used to look."
she said with an ironic twist to her full lips. "I've tried
that illusion countless times since I finally got the hang of
the magic. I have been trying to remember what it felt like
to look like Jack, but I can't even remember enough about my
own face to make a passable illusion of myself. Every time I
try it, I come out as some amalgamation of Jack and Jacqui."
"Is that so very bad? Jacqui is a very nice, very attractive
"Thanks. I love you, too, but the point is I don't know Jack
anymore. At least, I don't know the Jack I used to be
anymore. Who will he be, Mom, in that future time when he is
once again who I am?"
Once again who you are, Laurie thought morosely. The question
that had haunted her for months, of what had not gone right
for her daughter reared again. What made her daughter long so
fervently for the male life she'd lost the night Laurie had
Transformed her? For her daughter, though, she made the
effort to lock that hurt deep inside her soul and to keep a
positive spin on her words. "He will be the sum total of your
experiences, good and bad, my love. Those are what will have
shaped the person you will become. In your case, they will be
part male and part female; boy-child, adolescent male, and
teenage girl, young woman. If you think about the richness of
that range of experiences, then whoever he becomes, my love,
he will be a very formidable person." Almost as formidable as
the woman you could become if only you could find your way to
making that choice. We will need you so badly when the Dark
Time comes. "Now, would you like some help with that
illusion? Illusion casting is not my forte, but I suspect
that my memories of what Jack looked like are a little less
distorted by recent experiences than yours are. I can help
mold the illusionary features for you, if you like."
"You'd do that, Mum? I mean, I know you really want me to
stay as Jacqui."
"Not if it makes you unhappy, Jacqui. I cast my spell
thinking you would be as happy with your new life as I have
been with the one my Mother gave me. I never wanted to go
back to being Larry, just as many of my friends never wanted
anything but their new lives. But now, I accept the fact that
you do want to go back. You are my child and I love you. I
want your happiness above all else. Now, do you want to try
the illusion again?"
In the light of her Mother's stark sincerity, the need that
had been compelling Jacqui to try the illusion waned. If, in
the final analysis, the new Jack was a combination of the best
parts of the old Jack and the best parts of Jacqui, she could
live with that. "Maybe some other time, Mom. I don't think
it matters any more, thanks to what you just said. So, what
brings you into my room, Mum? Wanna borrow some of my
Relieved by the change of subject, Laurie snorted and gave her
daughter a mocking glare. "As if I could wear anything of
yours, you busy wench. Goddess, I would look like a little
girl playing dress-up in *her* mother's clothes trying to fit
into your things. No, I was just wondering what you still
might need for college." After all, Jacqui's "birthday" is
just around the corner, she thought.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year A. T.
Mom and Bronwyn threw a gala surprise birthday party today for
me. At least that's what they called it for the benefit of
the girls from the basketball team and for Marcus. Actually,
as the date above this entry indicates, today marks the one
year anniversary of the day I found myself changing into Agent
Scully's hermaphroditic twin. Of course, we can't tell
anybody else about *that*, so instead it was birthday cake,
presents and many refrains of "Happy Birthday". It was still
pretty cool. And I am *really* looking forward to my birthday
spanking from Mom and Bronwyn, but *that* comes later!
Marcus gave me a lovely bracelet, with his and my initials
engraved on it, the letters intertwined. I am really not sure
how to handle this relationship or the feelings he evokes in
me. He is becoming very important to me. What will happen to
his memories when I change back? And does it really matter?
Jack is straight line straight. And I don't think I can be
friends with Marcus - not after. . . Well, not after
Well, I am not going to worry about that - not right now,
anyway. I only have a few minutes before Marcus gets here to
take me dancing.
I am really curious about the two gift wrapped packages that
Mom has squirreled away in her bedroom, though. She won't let
me open them, or even have them in my hot little hands until
the three of us are alone in her bedroom. Then I can open
them. She had a very sexy look in her eye when she told me
that, too. If I did not like going dancing with Marcus so
much, I would be pounding on her door right now.
Oh, and Bronwyn gave me my first shape shifting lesson today.
I don't think this is going to be as easy to learn as illusion
casting. A whole *hour* of lessons and exhausting repetition
and what did I accomplish? Changed my nails - made them a bit
longer and a different color. HAH! I can almost do that
Oh well. Mom just called, Marcus is here. Time for my grand
entrance. I wonder what he will think of this leather
miniskirt? No time like the present to find out.
And no. I *don't* have the panty girdle on underneath the
skirt. I don't think I need it anymore with Marcus. Besides,
this skirt is so short, the girdle would show.
End Journal entry.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 year, 1 day A. T.
Well, I did not *quite* need the smelling salts, but it was a
near thing. Poor dear almost hyperventilated when I came
down. I think I may have flashed him. The skirt *is* short
and the steps *are* steep.
As to the wearing or not wearing of the panty girdle chastity
belt, that little concern was much ado about not much at all.
We are definitely going to have to plan this more carefully.
Finding a place where Marcus and I can be alone *and*
comfortable is a definite priority before we can start working
on training his mouth for use on lips other than the ones on
my face. His car does not fulfill the comfort requirement.
There is not even enough room for him to get his face properly
in position for a little oral loving. Darn compact cars,
I practiced my own oral technique, though. Even though he was
*very* excited, I managed to string him out quite nicely.
Teasing is fun. Following through afterwards is even more
fun. He tried to reciprocate with his hands afterwards, but
he needs the same type of gentling lessons I needed
immediately after Transformation, but he's a quick study, my
Marcus. Motivated, too.
As for me, I have a date in Mom's bedroom later to open those
two presents she would not let me open in front of company.
All we are waiting for is Bronwyn to arrive. Mom has this cat
who is going to eat the canary look on her face every time she
looks at me. Sounds like fun to me. Tweet tweet. Here,
End Journal Entry.
"Well." Bronwyn said with feeling as she kicked the wadded
ball of gift wrapping paper away from her chair. "That
certainly was a fun time for all concerned. Not." She took a
long sip from the brandy snifter cradled in her palm and let
its fiery warmth burn through the knot of anxiety still
curling inside her.
"Not at all what I expected, either. But my daughter often
reacts the way I least expect her to react. Goddess, when I
remember how excited we were when we were planning this whole
fiasco, I almost want to laugh. I would, too, if I did not
feel so much like crying."
"The healing spell you put on her will keep her asleep and
dreaming good dreams for the rest of the night, Laurel. I
expect, given a little time and a little distance, she will be
fine. We just pushed a button tonight and found out that it
was not wired the way we thought it was. Who would have
thought, given the girl's boundless enthusiasm and innocent
pleasure in every other sexy game we have introduced to her,
that she would have gone over the edge because of this one?"
Bronwyn shook her head in frustration. It had actually been
*her* idea and it had gone very badly, indeed. "What are you
going to do with them?" Bronwyn asked as she gestured at the
bed with her snifter.
Laurie turned to regard the jumbled mass of leather and metal
lying on top of her bed along side a moderately sized, but
life-like artificial penis. "I don't know. Keep them, I
guess." She would just as soon never have seen them in her
life. "Knowing my headstrong child, as soon as she recovers
from the shock of whatever happened tonight, she is going to
feel humiliated by her reaction in front of us. She'll decide
she has to face her "weakness" head on, and will insist on
having them. Eventually, she will get used to them being
around and that will help, too."
"Not one to cower for very long, is she?" Bronwyn smiled.
"Too bad she has figured out about Bonnie. An "un-involved",
sympathetic friend might do her a lot of good tomorrow." A
thought struck Bronwyn that she did not like much at all. "Do
you think that she reacted so strongly because we were the
ones who gave it to her?"
"Trying to make up for taking one penis away from her by
giving her a substitute? If that was a problem, it was only a
small part of the puzzle - there is something else there I
haven't figured out, yet. Besides, you and I know that was
not the case. We were only thinking of this game as a natural
progression of the woman-to-woman lovemaking she enjoys with
us, but I would say that is not quite how she saw it."
"Good thing we decided against the locking harness. I shudder
to think what would have happened if we had needed keys to
shuck her out of that thing." Bronwyn took her last sip of
brandy. "What now? She still needs to learn the lesson we
intended to teach with those toys. She needs to learn how to
enjoy the passive side of making love. Not that I mind her
"let me do that for you, too" attitude in bed, but it's like
she is cutting herself off from anything she perceives as
submissiveness to anything masculine." Bronwyn snorted.
"Goddess, even when she sucks Marcus off, she is in charge.
The only time she ever lets go completely is when you or I tie
her down first, and then she insists on quid pro quo later so
she can try and outdo us."
Laurie shook her head. "I don't know, Bronwyn. As I said, I
think she will come around because she simply cannot abide
weakness. The lesson we may have to teach her is that loving
submission is not a weakness." Laurie stood up and rolled her
head about, trying to relax the stress in her shoulders and
back. "For now, I think I will go crawl into bed with her.
She probably won't be happy to see me when she wakes up, but I
don't want her to be alone if bad dreams do come."
"Mind another bed mate, tonight? I don't much want to be
alone, myself." Bronwyn asked.
"Nothing I'd like better. If she wakes up mad, you can catch
your fair share of the chewing out she is going to lay on my
poor head." Laurie stood and held out her hand to Bronwyn.
Together, they walked out into the hall.
Something was tickling Jacqui's nose. Eyes still closed, she
tried to reach up with her hand to brush it away, only to
discover that her arm was being weighed down. Waking with a
start, she realized she was not alone in bed. Cracking open
one eye, she saw a halo of pale, blonde hair arrayed on the
pillow in front of her. Bronwyn, she thought. That meant that
the soft, warm body pressing up behind her was Mother.
And then she remembered the night before, and realized why
they were all here in her bed, and not in her Mother's much
As they had all planned the day before, Jacqui had joined her
Mother and Bronwyn in her Mother's room shortly after Bronwyn
had arrived. Both her Mom and Bronwyn had already been
dressed in very sexy nightgowns when they had ushered Jacqui
into the master suite. With great ceremony, the two older
women had made a real production out of stripping Jacqui down
to the skin. Of course, they did not resist any opportunity
to taste or touch any newly uncovered bit of skin, so by the
time they had Jacqui fully naked, they also had her fully
aroused. It was at this point, that her Mother had presented
her with the first of the two packages she had teased Jacqui
with the night before.
With all the delicacy and patience of a starving woman at a
banquet, Jacqui had fallen upon the wrapping paper and had
turned the beautifully wrapped package into brightly colored
confetti in mere seconds. What was in the box, though
remained a mystery to her even when she held it in her hands
and examined it thoroughly. Once it became obvious that she
had no idea what the device was, her Mother and Bronwyn had
come to her aid and assisted her in donning the harness.
Jacqui first thought was that it was some kind of kinky
bondage toy, and that they would use it to supplement the
scarves that had become a regular part of their play over the
summer. The new harness was been made of wide leather straps.
One strap fit tightly around her waist, just above her
hipbones, while two matching straps buckled about each of her
thighs, just below the crease where her legs met the buttocks.
Fine-linked, silvery chrome chains connected the thigh straps
to the waist belt. Her Mother and Bronnie had been determined
to make sure that all the straps and adjustable chains were
tightened as much as they could be and still be comfortable
for her. The fourth strap was the one that had really
It attached in the front of the waist belt, right at her
navel, and hung down. There was some type of thick, metal
ring in the strap, a little less then midway down the leather
length. From the ring, two thinner straps dangled. The two
women had been very particular in adjusting the front
connection of that strap so that the ring rested just so over
her woman's mound, and then they had pulled the two dangling
leathers up between her legs. Each of those straps had been
pulled, ruthlessly under the crease of each buttock and had
been connected to buckles at her sides. The effect, as Mother
and friend had strained to cinch up tightly on the straps, was
to nearly split her puss in two, while also lifting and
separating the muscular, rounded half moons of her ass.
Actually, that had all been pretty exciting, Jacqui admitted
to herself. When they had brought her the next package, she
had hoped it contained something that would complete her
bondage, maybe a set of hand cuffs, or shackles. It hadn't.
Her fingers had gone nerveless when she had pulled the latex
sex toy out of the box. She remembered thinking that it was
both thicker and shorter than hers, or rather Jack's had been.
Bronwyn had interpreted her sudden lack of animation as
confusion, because she'd slipped the fake dick out of Jacqui's
hands and then snapped it into the ring above Jacqui's pubis.
Mother and Bronwyn had then all but shoved her in front of the
wall mirror to admire her new "look". They'd been surprised
at Jacqui's response. Maybe shocked was a better word.
Jacqui had simply lost her composure all together. She'd
grabbed hold of the dildo and had tried to pull it off.
Failing in that only because the harness was doing what it was
designed to do, holding the toy solidly in place, she had
flailed ineffectually at the myriad of buckles and catches -
screaming her head off at her Mother to "Get this damned thing
Neither her Mother nor Bronwyn had been able to calm her
enough to get their hands on any of the buckles. Finally,
she'd felt the touch of her Mother's magic, and had slipped
Why had she gone off the deep end, like that? Why had the
simple symbolic reminder of her former masculine state send
her off the deep end? She thought she had gotten beyond
feeling like that. Hadn't she learned to handle her feminine
needs? She was practically having an affair with a man -
enjoying it, too.
Part of it had been the verbal teasing from her Mother and
Bronwyn. Bronwyn's comment that "We thought you might want to
keep in practice, just in case you do decide to change back to
good old Jack." was one thing. Had Jacqui not been so off
balanced by the scenario, she probably would have been able to
deal with it in the manner Bronwyn had intended it - as a
lighthearted jest at her expense, and as a bit of a challenge,
Unfortunately, before Jacqui had a chance to handle that
remark, her Mother had chimed in. "And she needs more than
practice, Bronnie." Laurie had said with an air of determined
resignation. "Unlike us when we were Transformed, our little
darling has a hymen. That means Jack never got it on with a
girl, so we will have to teach her everything."
Up until that moment, Jacqui had not understood the
significance of her possession of a hymen, at least as having
one related to being a Transformed woman. She had thought
that it was just one of those things; that being "reborn" as a
woman meant "everything old was new again". Apparently not,
and that meant that her *Mother* knew Jack was a virgin. He'd
been a Junior in school, for god's sake, and except for that
one time when he might have gotten it on with the girl, he'd
never been inside a woman.
And the crowning humiliation was that his Mother, as Larry,
had done what Jack never had. His Mother knew things he did
not know. And so did Bronwyn. Jack's own penis had been
untested at giving a woman pleasure at the time of his
Transformation. And the problem was, that no matter what
happened after she learned the Transformation Spell, Jack
would never be able to match what that unfeeling piece of
rubber could do for a woman. It would never go soft before
giving the woman her pleasure. It would never finish too
soon, leaving his partner high and dry. It would never become
too sensitive or tender to continue.
Thoughts and feelings whirled in a dizzying maelstrom about
her head. Rolling onto her back, Jacqui closed her eyes again
and tried to calm herself. The deep breathing and meditation
exercises her Mother had taught her as part of her healer
training finally worked. Gradually, her mind slowed, and
coherent thought returned.
She worked at viewing the process more objectively. The
relaxation exercises had eased the tension in mind and body.
She stretched to relieve the final kinks.
"Good morning," a soft voice mumbled beside her. Soft hands
began stroking her hair. "How do you feel?"
A bubble of helpless laughter escaped Jacqui, causing her
Mother some concern. "Better, actually." She considered a
moment before adding, "Pretty good, in fact." She rolled to
face her Mother and gave her a hug and kiss. "MMMMmmmm, you
taste good." she cooed. "I have been laying here trying to
work out what happened last night."
Forcing herself to keep her voice light, Laurie asked, "And
have you come to any conclusions?"
"None that I am very proud of." Her Mother's hand gently
stroked her hair and some more of the tension relaxed. Maybe
talking it out with her Mother would help ease the
embarrassment that Jack, and Jacqui, still felt. "You know
that I . . . umm, Jack was a virgin?" Laurie nodded as she
watched her daughter's eyes. "Until last night, I did not
understand what being a real virgin meant in my current state.
And it never occurred to me that you hadn't been a virgin when
you were. . .well, when you were Larry." Jacqui tried to look
away, embarrassed all over again at the admission.
Laurie took the girl's chin in her hand and drew it back so
their eyes met. Soft love and understanding shown in her
Mother's eyes. "Does that really matter so very much,
Jacqui swallowed, and tried to find words to express her
feelings. "Maybe in a perfect world, it wouldn't. But the
fact remains that I was almost eighteen and never made out
with a girl." Then her eyes darkened with stormy emotion.
"And YOU *knew*!"
Laurie chuckled at the ringing condemnation in her daughter's
voice. "And I had never been a female virgin, either. Your
old Mom had gone where you never had. Is that it?"
Jacqui flushed and then nodded jerkily. "All those little male
fears and insecurities never went away, I guess. I never felt
the confidence that comes with having "proven myself" with a
woman. Some of it was that, anyway. Couple that with the fact
that Jack could never hope to compete with that toy and you
have the greater part of what went wrong."
Laurie gently kissed the girl's forehead. "Let me ask you a
question. Have you made love with Bronwyn and me?" Unsure
where this was leading, Jacqui tentatively nodded that she
had. "And have you given us countless orgasms? Made us
scream shamelessly with pleasure?"
A very smug, self satisfied and nearly male grin slid across
the girl's features. "Damn right I have." she answered
"So, I would assume that, after you go back to being Jack, you
are not going to forget how to do that?" Jacqui shook her
head emphatically, her eyes wide with wonder and
understanding. "Then how in the name of the Goddess can you
be inadequate? Making love to a woman is infinitely more than
the mere act of sticking a dick in her pussy." Her Mother's
crude words sent Jacqui's brows lifting into her hairline.
Laurie continued, pressing her advantage. "It really is
pretty absurd, when you think about it *logically.*" the word
dripped with trenchant irony, "Here you are, fully female, but
feeling male inadequacies in comparison to a marital aid and
to your very happily female Mother. Jacqui, my girl, get a
grip, will you?"
Jacqui's mouth made an "O" as she stared at her Mother.
Finally, her sense of the ridiculous won over her sense of
shock. She chuckled softly to herself at the images her
Mother had painted across her mind's eye.
Much of the remaining tension in Jacqui's body relaxed.
Sighing, she snuggled up closer to her Mother. "The rest of
it was all the little hurts I did not know I still felt as a
result of the Transformation. Like - "Why me?" or "What was
not good enough about me that I needed to be changed this
way?" All those little things that I know, intellectually
anyway, had nothing to do with your decision, but that still
niggle at me when I am alone in the dark. And I guess I felt
cheated, looking there in the mirror, seeing an image with
real breasts and a man-made penis, and knowing that no matter
how good it would feel, it would not be what I would feel if I
still was Jack."
"Am I to assume from your more serene demeanor," which
Laurie's healer instincts sensed was the way the girl actually
felt, "that you have dealt with most of that?"
"Yes. Although I wish I knew, right now, what making love to
a woman felt like as a man." Jacqui sighed, "It might make so
many things clearer and more simple."
"Even if I remembered how it felt, *which I don't*, dear, it
is something that can only be experienced. I can only tell
you that in my case, at least, it paled in comparison to what
I experienced as the woman being made love to by a man."
Jacqui smiled at the wistful tone in her Mother's voice and
cuddled closer. "Wishes and horses, Mum. I can tell you,
that jerking off as Jack never felt as good as what Jacqui
does to me with her fingers. Which pales in comparison to
what you and Bronwyn make me feel when we are together." And
she started kissing her Mother a little more seriously as that
memory aroused her.
Their passion awoke Bronwyn who was soon actively
participating. Nothing further was said by any of the women
for a long time. Mouths had better uses at that moment than
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 2 days A. T.
I am still kind of embarrassed at how I reacted to that gift.
Mom and Bronwyn were so pleased with themselves and all ready
for a good time and then I went ballistic on them. I am still
not sure I completely understand why I did.
Much of it is as I told Mom. We talked some more after our
morning romp (making love with two other women in a too small
bed can be very friendly, although you do have to watch where
you put your knees. You can bruise tender areas that way)
The harness and dildo are now in my room so that I can see
always see them, or hold them or touch them periodically. For
now, I just want to get more comfortable with the whole idea.
Mom and Bronwyn have promised that I, alone, decide if and
when those toys ever come out to play again.
After some quiet time for reflection, though, I sensed there
was more to the gift than just another neat toy to add spice
to our lovemaking. I asked Bronwyn about that and she gave me
a funny look before shrugging. Seems the two witch women have
decided that I need to let loose of my controls a little more.
Bronwyn said I need to try being more passive in my
lovemaking, if only for the experience. "You don't always
have to be in charge like Jack evidently was on his dates."
she said. "You need to experience letting someone else
control the action, and let that person *make* you cum. If
only so you will understand both sides of the experience."
That is part of the problem, although I could not admit that
to Bronwyn. Jack *wasn't* in control on his dates. That is
why he is still a virgin and I am still a virgin. Of course,
there was that one time with Dani Evers. We had planned to
"do it" at her place while her folks were out on a date. God,
I'd been so ready and so nervous.
Unfortunately, I was not the only one. By the time we got to
her bedroom, poor Dani was almost frantic - and not with the
urgency to consummate our union. She was white as a sheet. I
remember she had worn black lingerie and it made her pallor
look even worse.
Then, she started crying. Jack had never lost a hard on so
fast without cumming. She was terrified. Terrified of being
found out by her parents. Terrified of getting pregnant.
Hell, terrified of Jack. He ended up playing "big brother"
and telling her it was all right. She finally fell asleep and
Jack let himself out. So ended Jack Donovan's first and last
real chance at conjugal bliss.
Maybe Bronwyn is right, though, at least about being in charge
in the bedroom. I like it, and I don't know if I would much
like just "taking it". I probably will try to do it that way,
though. Bronwyn, the sneaky, underhanded, loving little witch
knows me too well. She made it a dare.
I just don't know if I am going to try being "passive" with
that harness on someone else, though. That is going to take
some heavy thinking, before I do that with anyone - even Mom
And it is not because I don't trust them, or don't think they
would make the experience wonderful for me that I don't want
to use them to use those things on me. Mostly it's because I
did not get to try the real thing as Jack. If and when Jacqui
loses her virginity, I'd like to have the real thing that
Not that I am ready for that, in any case. As comfortable as
I _think_ I have become with my femininity, Jack is still a
big part of me, and he has a problem with it. I don't blame
him, either, it is a big step. Certainly for me as
Transformed woman, anyway.
Why? Well you may ask. It is simply this. The part of me
that is still Jack, still heterosexual male, is dead set
against doing it. That is a substantial obstacle for my
desires in that regard to have to overcome. Only a monumental
need to have a man inside me could get me past Jack's
intransigence. I would have to be in love with that man
before I would be able to get past that and have intercourse
with him. And if I love him enough to make love with him, how
could I leave him and become Jack again?
The _really_ uncomfortable thing about this whole line of
reasoning is that falling in love with a man, and making love
with a man, do not seem to be quite as impossible as either of
those ideas did a year ago.
Jack is *not* liking this discussion at all. Well, I don't
feel that way about any man right now, if that is any
Oh well, college starts in a few weeks. That should keep me
End of Journal Entry.
A Change of Direction
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 year 4 weeks 1 day A. T.
You know, I don't know why I insist on using the honorific
"Miss" instead of the more trendy and politically correct
"Ms." when I write in this book. Maybe it is a reaction to
some of the girls at school who insisted that Jack call them
"Ms.". Maybe I am just being pigheaded and trying to maintain
something about me that is different from "real women".
Maybe it just suits me.
Got all the classes I wanted and at the times I wanted to take
them. It is so great not having to take courses I don't
really want to take. I have two computer science courses, a
physics course, a chemistry course and calculus. This is *so*
great! And one other course, too. Don't know about that one
yet, or why I really signed up for it.
My advisor is a really good guy, who only balked a little bit
when I showed him my proposed schedule. He doesn't think I am
going to hack it, though. We'll see about that.
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 year 2 months A. T.
First round of tests are all done, and I did pretty well. Now
that the mountain of studying I needed to get done for them is
over, I have a little time on my hands for the first time
since school started.
Some observations. There are other girls in all of my
classes, but not one other girl who is in all my classes. Of
course, there is no guy who is in all my classes either,
although there is one who is in all but the one I won't talk
about in here. I think he is really shy, though. He won't
even say hi to me on his own.
I'm glad for the non-technical course. It relaxes my head to
do that reading when the other courses wear me down.
Dammit. I *miss* Marcus. Why couldn't he come here instead
of going so far away. I miss dancing with him, and I miss. .
. . well, I miss a lot of things about him.
In the evenings, now that I don't go out very much, Bronwyn
has been drilling me in shape shifting. I did a fair job of
changing my hair color the other night. When I tried to
change my skin tone we ran into a little. . . Minor glitch. I
wanted to make it lighter like Bronwyn's, only I ended up
looking like a human zebra. Bronwyn says I need work on
"whole body visualization" before I begin my conjure. Maybe I
should try to turn into Bonnie. I got really good at
visualizing that hot bodied little tart during my senior year
at school. (You know what they say about eavesdroppers,
Bronwyn, and you were - both hot-bodied *and* a tart! You
think I did not remember that you showed up on the scene right
after Mum promised not to peak in here?)
Well, tomorrow the unknown class starts studying one of the
topics I signed up for the course to learn about. Hopefully,
I will learn what I need to know.
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 2 Months 13 days A. T.
Met a very interesting person today when I went to see
Professor Stevens, my advisor. This guy owns a huge computer
electronics firm and he is working to implement Professor
Stevens' theories on quantum computing on a practical
computer. In the meantime, as his part of the collaboration,
this guy provides Dr. Stevens with all the latest and best
computer hardware to use in his research.
He has really strange eyes. Dr. Stevens introduced us and he
gave me this really searching look, like he thought he
recognized me from somewhere and was trying to remember when
and where. It was a very disconcerting experience. I think I
will plan to be elsewhere when he visits Dr. Stevens from now
Marcus wrote me an email! I wonder how he found out my
address? What *am* I going to do about him???
End Journal Entry
The Brotherhood's Chief of Investigations sat silently in his
chair. Lancaster had waved him into the seat opposite the
huge desk when the Chief had first entered into the High
Leader's Office. Lancaster had yet to say a word, but the
Chief knew better than to say anything without direction.
Finally, Lancaster leveled the fearsome power of his eyes on
his subordinate. "My work with the college teacher is going
in accordance with the plan. I also met the girl today. One
would never know that a mere fifteen months ago she was a
male." A malevolent grin lit his chiseled features. "I do not
believe she liked me very much. In any case, as long as the
professor is her program advisor, and I will see that he
continues in that role, I will have a reliable source of
information on what the girl is up to. She is still living at
home?" The chief affirmed that she was. "And the other woman,
Llewellyn, continues to visit regularly?" Again, the chief
confirmed this. "Very well, relax the surveillance on the
girl and her Mother. We will use the good professor as our
surveillance asset for now. My hypnotic programming of him is
complete and thorough. He will watch her for us and report on
any unusual activities immediately." That over, he switched
topics abruptly. "What about the other suspected Sister we
"Roberta Lawler lives in Austin, Texas. She has recently been
observed visiting an obstetrics clinic near her home. We made
a midnight reconnaissance of the office and ascertained that
the woman is two to three months pregnant. She is expected
to deliver in the March or April time frame."
"Any indication of the sex of the child?"
"None, although it is too early for sonogram determination of
gender. If she is, as we believe, a member of the Sisterhood,
then she would likely not feel the need for a sonogram merely
to determine its sex."
"Too bad. If it was a girl baby, we'd know for a fact that
she was not a Sister. Very well. I want round the clock
surveillance on the Lawler girl and an action response team in
the area the moment the fetus becomes viable outside the womb.
Muster the team as soon as the woman gives any signs of going
into labor. I want them to take both the woman and the child
as soon as we know the child is male and as soon after the
actual birth as possible. Something about the birthing
process is critical to the Sisterhood and we must know what
that is before we can hope to deal with them effectively."
Feeling that he must speak, but not wanting to, the chief
cleared his throat. "It may simply be the celebration of
birth, High Leader. Most Matriarchal Societies place great
store on the creation and nurturing of new life through the
"It may very well be that, Chief, but somehow, I don't think
so. The Sisterhood is not a classical matriarchal society
since every member of that cursed group was at one time male.
No, there is something more to it than just female life
worship." His arguments made him even more certain. "Go set
up the operation in Houston. Your piteous begging for the
surcease of your own death will go unanswered for a very long
time if you fail to capture the woman and her child alive."
The man's fear was palpable as he hurriedly left the office to
carry out his Master's orders. The taste of his emotion was
sweet on Erich Lancaster's tongue, and he laughed at the pure,
unadulterated pleasure of having been the cause of it.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 3 Months 5 days A. T.
I don't know what to believe. On one hand, I have heard Mom
and Bronwyn speak about things often enough that I am
relatively confident that I understand many of their beliefs.
But what I got from that class does not jive with what they
have said when they did not think I was listening.
I am going to the library right now to see if they have
anything in the rare books sections that will help. Probably
not since I don't read or speak foreign or dead languages.
Cripes, why could not the old Celtic civilizations have
written their stuff in "C" instead of Gaelic? Oh, well, I
hope the translations are good. They will certainly be better
than I could do, but will they be accurate enough for my
Hmmmm. I wonder if there are independent sources of
information about this on the Internet? There is stuff about
most every thing else, why not this? Yahoo, Alta Vista, Lycos
- here comes Jacqui!
End Journal Entry
A Change of Direction
"Hello?" Laurie's voice echoed in the earpiece of her phone.
"Mother? It's Jacqui. I've just learned some things that I
need to talk about with you. Now."
The emotion in her daughter's voice alarmed Laurie. "Jacqui,
what is it? What is wrong?"
"*NOT* over the phone, Mother. You might want Bronwyn there,
too. I have questions and I *want* answers. I will see you
in about half an hour. Bye." The phone clicked off
preemptively in Laurie's ear. Frightened now, she quickly
dialed Bronwyn's line. Whatever this was, she did not want to
face it alone.
Bronwyn and Jacqui arrived at Laurie's house almost
simultaneously. Bronwyn was already out of her car and
decided to wait for Jacqui to get out of her own before going
up to the door. She watched as Jacqui, dressed in her jeans
for a change, pulled a large manilla envelope stuffed with
paper out of her book bag before closing her car door behind
"Hello, Jacqui." she said pleasantly, "What is so important
that you had to frighten your Mother and pull me away from my
Jacqui did not acknowledge the greeting, other than to say
"Not out here, Bronwyn. Inside, please." before she stomped
past to the door.
Inside, Laurie had laid a light lunch on the kitchen table
where she led the two women after greeting them with hugs and
kisses at the door. Once seated, a highly agitated Jacqui
tossed the envelope she'd carried in with her across the table
in the general direction of Bronwyn and her Mother.
Curious, Bronwyn opened the envelope and was surprised to see
papers discussing various aspects of Wicca on top. Quickly,
she riffled through the rest of the thick stack and found that
all of the papers were on that topic. "I have been using the
Internet to research modern day witches. As you can see, the
bulk of what I found is on Wicca. I started reading it and
saw that it had much in common with what you two have been
teaching me." Jacqui paused to take a calming breath. "With
two small exceptions that I currently know about. Several of
the documents specifically state that there is no concept of
an entity of absolute evil in the Wiccan belief systems. In
other words, they don't accept the existence of a devil. The
other thing is that *they* include *male* witches in their
groups. I don't think you do, Bronwyn. I don't know why I
believe that, but I am absolutely convinced that the only men
in your group are now women."
Bronwyn set the papers down and looked at Laurie before
returning her attention to the very upset young woman across
from them. "So?" She was not sure what had the girl so upset,
but she knew she needed to get it out before they could help
"You two *do* believe in the existence of such an evil power.
I have caught hints of that belief in your teaching of the
magic, and in your conversations. That means that whatever
you two and your Sisterhood are, you are very different from
what I have read about in there. I want to know what is going
on. There is something about all this that you have not told
me. Somehow, I *know* that it involves whatever this evil
power is and that it is at the core of the reason you
"Oh." Bronwyn sighed as Laurie looked down at her hands,
avoiding making further eye contact with her daughter.
"That is all you have to say? "OH"???" Jacqui roared, pounding
her fists against the table top in an altogether male
"No, Jacqui. That is not all we have to say." She shook her
head. Too soon, she thought. She has not even had a full
year of formal training, yet. Laurel and Bronwyn had
previously agreed they would never tell the girl the whole
story since they accepted that Jacqui would choose to become
Jack. There simply was no reason for a powerless man to be
concerned with the issues that confronted the Sisterhood.
That had just changed, radically, because of a tool that had
not existed at the time of their own Transformations - the
World Wide Web. Computers and magic were a powerful
combination, and one that the Sisterhood had never really had
to deal with before. The resulting synergy of such easily
accessed and organized raw data coupled with Jacqui's own
rapidly developing intuition was potent, if premature. Now,
she had no choice but to explain most of the truth, and hope
that Jacqui could deal with it. "All right, I will explain
about the Sisterhood and why we continue to exist. I would
ask that you listen, Jacqui, without comment until I am
through. I give you my solemn word that everything I am about
to say is the truth as we know it. You are correct in your
surmise that we are not truly of Wicca. They are followers of
peace. We also seek peace, but our order was created to fight
for that peace. Perhaps a weak analogy is that the followers
of Wicca are like the monastery monks of the Middle Ages. The
Sisterhood is more akin to the fighting priesthood that was
known as the Knights of the Temple, or more simply, the
There are two ways to power. One is the way of Light and one
is via the absence of light, or the way of Darkness. The
Sisterhood considers the way of Light to be the way of the
Goddess whose dictates we follow. The converse of the
Sisterhood is a group known as the Brotherhood. They follow
the Dark Power which they personify into the being they call
the Dark One. Whether such an entity really exists or not is
a moot point. The Brotherhood believes that he exists and the
power they attribute to deriving from him *is* real. We must
deal with that power and with those who wield it.
In some ancient time before recorded history, the powers of
Light and Dark existed together in harmony until something
went very wrong. The followers of the Dark One attacked those
who followed the Light and all but wiped them out. The group
that undertook that ambush eventually became the Brotherhood.
With the seeming destruction of the only beings who were
capable of stopping them, the Brotherhood turned their power
to conquest and brought the local tribes of men under their
However, unknown to the Brothers, a few of the men who were
attacked survived the ambush. They hid from the Brotherhood
and sought ways to oppose them without taking the same Dark
Path. Ultimately, their search brought them to the Goddess.
Upon hearing their appeal, and seeing the suffering of those
under the Dominion of the Brotherhood, She offered them a
bargain. She would grant them the power they needed to oppose
the Brotherhood successfully, but only at a price. The
survivors are said to have initially quailed at Her price, but
finally, unable to bear the suffering of their fellow humans
any longer, they agreed to the Goddess' offer. Thus, the
Sisterhood was born, for the price of Her aid was the
surrender of their masculinity. Gradually, the new Sisterhood
grew in their own power and slowly began to confront the
Brotherhood. After a long struggle, they managed to bring
about the downfall of the evil members who had led the rest of
the group astray.
Following that initial conflict, the two groups continued to
exist as cohesive groups, while training new members to ensure
the continuation of their orders.
It was at this juncture that the Sisterhood discovered that
they could only breed sons; and sons could not wield the power
bequeathed to them by the Goddess. Evidently something about
their Goddess-Transformed eggs somehow rejected any sperm cell
that carried a female-creating "X" chromosome. Again with the
intervention of the Goddess, they developed their own version
of the Transformation Spell as their only means of
perpetuating the Sisterhood. This was absolutely vital
because they knew that a viable instrument had to exist in
order to combat the Brotherhood if they again decided to use
the Dark Power to dominate other people.
Thus were two opposing factions born; the Brotherhood of Men
wielding the Dark Power, and the Sisterhood of Transformed Men
wielding the Power of Light. Time and again, evil men have
gained power in the Brotherhood and have been opposed by the
Sisterhood. Each time, the Sisterhood deterred the
Brotherhood, but only at great personal cost to the members of
Understand, please, that the Dark Power is not inherently
evil. Throughout our recorded history, there have been many
good men in the Brotherhood; men who have used their power in
the service and to the betterment of humankind. However,
implicit in the Dark Power is the potential to bring forth
evil in the men who wield it. When a particularly powerful
Brother turns away from humanity, terrible things happen on
the earth and many die before they can be stopped.
The most recent major confrontation between the Brotherhood
and the Sisterhood occurred during this century. After nearly
a hundred years of uneasy peace between the factions, a young
acolyte of the Brotherhood came onto the scene. Rapidly, his
command of the Dark Power grew. He used his power to
captivate, to enthrall and to inspire huge crowds of fearful
and desperate people. Eventually, he came to the attention of
other members of the Brotherhood who shared his views on the
In a remarkable series of coups, the young man and his circle
of supporters first took control of the Brotherhood,
installing him as the High Leader, and then gained absolute
power over their country with him as the nation's absolute
dictator. Before this reign of terror ended, these men had
nearly conquered the entire world while laying a great deal of
it to waste. The young acolyte was Adolf Hitler, High Leader
of the Brotherhood, and Fuhrer (Leader) of Nazi Germany. The
men who supported his dual rise to power in the Brotherhood
and in Post-World War I Germany were Joseph Goebbels, Heinrich
Himmler, Ernst Roehm, Martin Borman and Rudolf Hess. The
confrontation is recorded in the human history as World War
Like the great nations of the world, the Sisterhood was caught
off guard by the sudden appearance of a new High Leader with
aspirations of world domination and conquest. Although they
perceived the danger sooner than the world's leaders, by the
time they fully recognized the threat Hitler posed, he had
become too powerful. It was only a matter of time before he
took over Germany and the Sisterhood had already lost any hope
of stopping him by direct action. Grimly, they were forced to
accept that only with subtlety and blood - a great deal of
blood - could they hope to stop him.
The essential contributions of the two great heroes of that
conflict remain unknown to the world at large. Oddly enough,
both were in the centers of national and world power
throughout the conflict, but their true roles in shaping the
final Allied victory remain the closely guarded secrets of the
Sisterhood to this day.
One of these heroes was named Elias and the other was named
Evan. At least, that was how they were known before they were
initiated into the Sisterhood and all record of their male
identities disappeared forever.
In 1930, the danger represented by Adolf Hitler finally became
clear to the Sisterhood. Shortly thereafter, Eleanor (Elias)
Roosevelt ascended to the office of High Priestess of the
Sisterhood. Rarely do Sisters take such public roles, and
never before had a High Priestess been so well known, but
those were desperate times. As a result of her family's
public persona, only one of her sons, the oldest was
Transformed. Unfortunately, once it became obvious that FDR
was going to be a very public figure, Eleanor was forced to
attempt the Transformation when Alan, then Anna, was very
young. She had to "adjust" FDR's memories to do this, but she
was there to protect him against outside magical influences.
In the final analysis, Anna was too young at the time of
Transformation for she never was able to learn to wield the
power. That sometimes happens when a subject is very young at
the time of Transformation. In any case, none of the other
sons could be Transformed under that such world wide public
scrutiny so their entry into the Sisterhood was sacrificed to
win the War.
Eleanor's primary task was to prepare an unwilling,
isolationist United States for the unavoidable war to come.
Under her direction, the power of the Sisterhood was used as
never before, influencing the outcomes of certain critical
events in the United States. How else, but with the help of
the Goddess, could a man confined to a wheelchair win the
Presidency of a country still tied to its rough and tumble
past? With her husband installed in the White House, she used
the power of his office to revive the Depression-crippled
economy, ensuring that it would be ready to be "The Arsenal of
Democracy" when the dark days came.
However, the most important action undertaken by the
Sisterhood under her leadership was also the most painful one
- the complete disruption of certain critical U.S.
intelligence and military operations in the early hours of
December 7, 1941. Eleanor's efforts deprived the United
States of information that should have given at least six
hours of advanced warning of the imminent attack on Pearl
Harbor by elements of the Japanese Navy. Eleanor knew that
only a fully committed and war-hungry United States could
defeat the Brotherhood supported Nazi War Machine. Therefore,
she and other members of the Sisterhood interfered with the
collection, analysis and consolidation of the various clues
that otherwise would have accurately predicted the Pearl
Harbor attack. This gave the Japanese their clear, unopposed
path to Pearl Harbor, and put the power of the United States
irrevocably and completely on the side of the Allies.
Eleanor's final crucial decision was made in 1944. It was
another very painful duty for a woman sworn to protect and
nurture life. By the end of 1943, it had become obvious that
not even the strongest healers in the Sisterhood could keep
the increasingly frail FDR alive much longer. However, the
country still needed a strong leader to finish the job that
Eleanor, through FDR, had begun. The best, most merciful
option would have been to have someone else win the Presidency
that year and let Roosevelt go home and die in peace.
Unfortunately, none of the likely winners of a post-FDR
election possessed the strength of character that would be
necessary in the final days of the conflict. Finally, and
with much remorse, Eleanor agreed to make FDR run for
President one last time, knowing that he could not possibly
survive another year in that office.
The High Priestess of the Sisterhood personally handpicked the
best man for the onerous tasks ahead to be FDR's final running
mate. Thus, the little known Senator for Missouri, Harry S.
Truman, was elected Vice President of the United States in the
1944 elections. Less than a year after assuming that office,
Mr. Truman ascended to Presidency of the United States.
The other great unknown hero of the War was Eva (Evan) Braun.
In 1932, she became the Sisterhood's woman inside the Nazi-
Brotherhood cabal. As Adolf Hitler's Mistress for almost
fourteen years, she suffered terribly. Eva Braun tolerated
and encouraged the attentions of a sadistic madman so that she
could collect and pass on vital intelligence about German
operations and planning to the Allies via the Sisterhood. She
also subtly reenforced Hitler's growing megalomania by
pandering to his already monumental ego. One result of her
efforts was Hitler's precipitous and ultimately disastrous
invasion of the Soviet Union that forced Germany to fight a
hopeless two front war. Eva even managed to influence Hitler
to see the infamous Dr. Mengala whose crippling drug
"therapies" further undermined the self control of the insane
By volunteering to become the Sisterhood's conduit to and from
Hitler's lair, Eva had willingly accepted a life that was hell
on earth. Toward the end of the war, the Fuhrer's madness
grew geometrically with each defeat, and so did the torments
he inflicted on Eva. Her final act of heroism was in the
manner and method of her own death. Fearing that Hitler or
one of his henchmen might at last have seen through her
disguise, she elected to induce him to commit suicide. She
died beside him that fateful day in the Berlin Bunker,
literally shaming him into finally taking his own life with
her own courageous example. Goebells' last hope of smuggling
the High Leader out of Germany and reconstituting their Power
through Hitler as a figure head, died with Eva and the Fuhrer.
Goebells took his own life shortly thereafter.
Now, we appear to be facing a new, and evidently, very
powerful High Leader who shares those dreams of conquest. We
don't know who or where he is, but we have seen signs that
point in that direction. We needed to prepare for a conflict,
and we needed more power on our side of the ledger. As I said
earlier, only women can wield the white magic. Similarly,
only men can wield the dark. As Jack, you could not wield the
Dark Power because of certain rites that were performed by
your Mother at your birth. Still, you had a spark of power in
you that could become great if you accepted the Gift of the
Goddess. That was why the Sisterhood Transformed you - so you
could become a woman who could grow in the power the
Sisterhood needs to face a rearmed Brotherhood.
End of Bronwyn's story.
Jacqui was very quiet after Bronwyn finished her tale.
Whatever she had expected, what she had been told was not it.
Was she supposed to become some type of female mystic warrior,
fighting to the death against the evil minions of the Dark
Brotherhood? Lord, it sounded like something from a comic
book or a B-Movie, Texas Chainsaw Bimbo Witches. "I don't
think I can deal with this, Mom, Bronwyn. You did this to me,
took away everything I thought was mine, to go to war? What
am I? Some sort of witch-assassin in training? Buffy the
The other two women spoke simultaneously. "No!" "Goddess,
no!" then looked at each other apologetically. Laurie
continued. "Jacqui, the Sisterhood does not, cannot kill. We
fight the Brotherhood, yes, but our purpose is to deprive them
of power, not life. Remember what I told you would happen if
you aborted a child. A Sister who kills another human being
forfeits forever the Gift of the Goddess."
"But how? I mean, what do you. . . Lord, I assume that the
Brotherhood has no such limitations on the use of their
Bronwyn smiled sadly. "You assume correctly. The Dark Power
is very capable of destruction and death. It is one of the
reasons that Hitler was so effective at removing his opponents
just before they became a real problem. The Brotherhood can
and does kill, Jacqui, with great ease and effect."
"They can try to kill you, but you can't kill in return."
Jacqui just shook her head in disbelief. "Amazing. I am
surprised there is a Sisterhood left if these little turf wars
have been going on throughout history."
"There have been times when it has been a near thing, but we
are not so defenseless as that. The Dark Power exists in the
absence of light. Our power derives from the Light, and we
have ways to attack individual Brothers, provided they are not
too powerful, by sort of "filling in" the dark places with
light. That is not quite what we do, but the analogy is
close. In any case, the end result of that attack is a
Brother who has been permanently divorced from his source of
power, and who no longer has any feelings of aggression. Some
of us are very powerful, and we can do this to most of the
"We also," Bronwyn continued, "Work as we did during World War
II, removing their power base in the non-magic world, and de-
stabilizing their command structure. As we said, not all
Brothers are evil and usually, the ones who are not take
advantage of our activities to bring down the evil ones."
"Sounds like a shaky way to fight a war, Bronwyn. I suspect
there are casualties?"
"Sadly, yes. On both sides."
"And you," Jacqui looked at Bronwyn before turning her eyes to
Laurie, "and you, want me to join your fight?"
Bronwyn took Laurie's trembling hand. The accusation in
Jacqui's voice pained her, and had to devastate Laurie. "We
felt that, once again, the world would need us to be ready to
face the Brotherhood and to answer that call, we felt that we
needed you and your talents on our side." she answered with
"Greetings from the High Priestess, you have been drafted."
She returned with disgusted irony in her tones. "I don't want
any part of that, Bronwyn. Now, I suppose this is where you
tell me that my failure to cooperate will force you to end the
lessons I need to be able to reverse the Transformation
"No!" the shout from Laurie rocked Jacqui back. "I told you,
I promised you that I would do everything in my power to help
you undo what I have done. That promise stands unchanged and
unconditionally. Whether we wanted you to help us or not is a
moot point, since we have accepted that your foremost desire
is to change back. As Jack, you cannot wield the power.
There is nothing Jack could do to help us."
Bronwyn added. "I add my own assurances to your Mother's,
Jacqui. Nothing changes. Yes, we want and need the power you
could add to our ranks. However, you have to want to be there
with us, the same as any other Sister. Some of us are going
to die in the coming fight, Jacqui. Those who go to fight,
must know in their hearts that such a sacrifice is justified.
If you don't feel that way, there is no way we could permit
you to join us."
Nothing more was said for several minutes as all three women
tried to cope with the emotions of the previous half hour.
Finally, Bronwyn held out a hand to Jacqui. She eyed it, and
then slowly reached out her own to take it in hers.
Tentatively, Laurie held out her free hand to her daughter and
felt joy when Jacqui all but snatched at it, gripping it
tightly in her own. "I don't know about you two," Bronwyn
said haltingly, "But I would really like to be held."
Simultaneous "Me, too"-s answered her and she used her own
power to shift them into Laurie's large bed. Disoriented by
the teleportation, it took Jacqui a moment or two to realize
where she was and that she was in the middle between the two
older women. It only took an instant longer than that to
realize that all of them were completely naked. Unprepared
for the sudden change, Jacqui spun toward her Mother and made
to get out of the bed. Bronwyn caught her about the waist and
pulled her back down and into her, spoon fashion and her
Mother enfolded her in a full body embrace, her breasts
flattening against Jacqui's own. Jacqui's protest were
swallowed by Laurie's mouth covering her own and Laurie's
tongue impudently exploring her mouth. The clever hands of
two experienced women made short work of any lingering,
The man entered into the spacious office, pleased for once to
make his reports. He had what he thought was good news for a
change. The High Leader was seated at his desk, pouring over
some report, which he continued until he deemed he had made
his minion wait long enough. Even so petty an expression of
power fed the hunger inside him. "Well?" he asked
"The girl has been doing a very exhaustive search of online
and other reference resources for information on witches and
magic for some time now. We have been monitoring her accounts
and know exactly what she has seen and what she has downloaded
to her private machine." He looked up from his notes at the
"So?" he challenged. "The boy-slut is highly computer
literate. That she is using those skills to try and learn
about the ones who did this to him should be expected. Too
bad your ineffectual organization did not discover him until
after the bitches Transformed him. I could have used someone
with that potential for power coupled with modern technical
Fearing the direction the High Leader was taking this
discussion, the Chief rushed on to get back to his own purpose
in being here. "Yes, we did expect the data search, High
Leader, which is why we have tapped her accounts. In any
case, after the last download, she spent some time apparently
organizing and analyzing the data, then phoned her Mother.
She refused to tell her what she wanted, but rather insisted
on meeting her immediately, along with the other subject,
Bronwyn Llewellyn. All three subjects met at the Mother's
house about thirty minutes later. No one left until the next
The High Leader considered this. "I think we can assume that
the Llewellyn woman is a high adept of the Sisterhood, perhaps
even the High Priestess. We know she protected the girl
throughout her last year of high school and has continued to
take a deep interest in her activities since. As far as we
know, this is a singular deviation from their normal procedure
of leaving the Transformed sluts to their Mothers. So, the
girl must be important to them. Why?" He looked up at his
minion with angry eyes. "Tell me why!" he bellowed. "And
don't come back here until you can. Don't make me wait too
long for your return, either."
The man scurried from the room, his heart racing. That had
been a near thing. The High Leader was becoming more
dangerously unpredictable with each passing day.
A Change of Direction
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jackie Donovan
1 year, 3 months, 14 days A. T.
Damn, but I am really blown away by all this. I think, at
last, I really have the full story and the real reasons for my
As to what I am going to do about the coming fight with the
Brotherhood, that is a problem for me. On one hand, my *MOM*
is going to be involved. Worse, she has told me she *needs*
me. On the other hand, the *me* she *needs* is Jacqui, not
Jack. Jack is of no use to them at all, and although they did
not say it outright, I suspect that he may actually be a
liability to them. That means I have to stay Jacqui in order
to help her, and yes, in order to protect her.
And on top of everything else, there is this guy in my
parapsychology course. (Mom and Bronwyn didn't know I was
taking this course, but it fit in my schedule. Someone said
know thy enemy and know thyself. I just can't figure out yet
if I have met the enemy and he *is* me.) Anyway, this guy has
been giving me the eye for a couple of weeks now, and today, I
found myself *daydreaming* about him. Lord help me, I
actually told myself he was cute! Jack is *not* happy!
All of which pointedly reminds me how much I really, really
And that is another thing. Hey, Bronwyn, I am getting tired
of dropping hints. I need some of the insight I used to get
from Bonnie. You remember her? Smart mouth, cute as a
button, big boobs, sneaky witch type. Listen, girlfriend,
*You* got me into this mess. "A little hand job is just the
thing to keep a boy happy, Jacqui." Well, a little hand job is
damned well not going to keep *me* happy much longer and it is
scaring the hell out of me and Jack.
Now, Bronwyn, will you please quit pretending you aren't
reading this and come talk to me? It is hard enough writing
this stuff. I don't know if I can say out loud in the open on
my own. In other words, Bronwyn-dear. . . .
Is *that* subtle enough for you? As if life was not already
End Journal Entry.
Bronwyn entered Laurie's sanctum with a delighted grin on her
lovely features. "She is going crazy, Laurel. I think this
could be a big turnaround for her and for us."
Laurie, who had been working on her latest book, a historical
compilation of herbal remedies, looked up at her friend with
confusion written across her face. "I assume you are talking
about Jacqui, but I haven't the faintest idea what you mean."
She offered a glass of iced tea which Bronwyn accepted as she
sat down in the overstuffed chair near the bookcases.
"Yes, I mean Jacqui. She is coming to the realization that
she wants Marcus sexually. She has also divined that I am
peeking into her journal. Goddess, but her intuition is still
getting stronger. She's been leaving me little hints in that
"this-is-not-a-diary" of hers for the past couple of months or
so. Her last entry all but orders me to get off my fanny and
help her figure out what to do about her feelings for him.
Quite forcefully, too." The grin got wider. "She wants to
blame Bonnie for that, too, since she encouraged her to go out
with the boy in the first place."
"Encouraged? Sure you did, woman. Like a baseball bat
encourages a ball to change direction. WHAP!" Laurie smirked
at her friend as she smacked her hands together hard.
Bronwyn had the grace to blush slightly. "So she needed a
little push." Laurie's eyebrow went up in challenge. "Okay, so
it was a big push, but she has not really regretted it. And
she sucked him off the first time completely on her own."
Another wicked little grin. "One thing I will say for you,
Laurel, you did a great job adjusting her sex drive."
A little uncomfortable with that reminder of what she had done
to her son, Laurie tried to joke past it. "Natural family
talent, my dear, and the enthusiasm of youth."
Recognizing the misdirection for what it was, Bronwyn did not
argue the point. "Well, she wants him badly enough to admit
it to herself and to me. In her writing, anyway. So, Mother
of the would-be Bride, what do we do?"
"I am not sure I know what you mean."
"Of course you do, Laurel. You just don't want to accept any
more responsibility for the necessary manipulation of your
child's developing femininity, but she needs our help, luv.
You are still the one person who knows her best. Now, as I
see it, we can do one of three things. Ignore the writing and
not admit I know what she wrote. That has the advantage of
simplicity and would force the girl to make her own
"It also has a couple of big disadvantages. She won't believe
your claims that you don't know what she is writing. You are
right - her 'Knowing' power is formidable and she has come to
trust it without realizing it. The other problem evolves from
that first one. If she thinks you have ignored her, and
whatever she does goes wrong, we could lose her trust."
Bronwyn frowned for the first time. "Point taken. And whether
we help her undo the Transformation or ease her into a
position of prominence within the Sisterhood, we will need
that hard won trust. Okay, we have to do something.
Possibility two is that we encourage her to take the big step.
Go all the way and make beautiful love with Marcus. A little
magical influence and he is the greatest lover since Don Juan.
Sensitive yet forceful, open to any sexy games that you
daughter wants to play - in other words, a guy straight out of
the latest romance novel. With her inherent sensuality, she
will love every sweaty minute of it."
"Is she ready to learn the Transformation Spell? I mean,
really ready? Because if she isn't, that is very risky. She
is on birth control, but you know that means nothing with a
Transformee. If she becomes really enthusiastic, heck, *when*
she becomes enthusiastic, she will want him frequently. She
*will* get pregnant in very short order."
Bronwyn's shoulders slumped. "She is close, Laurel. I have
never seen a student grow so quickly in her power. She will
have the shape shifting down in another week or two, but it
might be as much as six months to a year before she is truly
ready for that step."
"I agree with that. So, what other option is there that will
let her play without having to pay too much of a price?"
The wicked grin was back. "Laurel." she chided, "You know as
well as I do that there is more than one way to make love to a
man, and more than one place a woman can be put to the cock."
Laurel frowned momentarily before understanding made her eyes
go wide. "You don't mean. . ."
"Sure I do." was the immediate response. "And she will have
to *really* want it, so it will be a good test of her
readiness to start the next and most critical phase of her
training. And besides," the smile grew even wider, "She might
want a little practice before she tries it with Marcus. I
would love to try that with her and it would give us a chance
to teach that passive loving lesson again."
Laurie's own expression went soft with sexual longing. "Oh,
Goddess. Me, too." she said fervently. "Me, too."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 3 months 18 days A. T.
So, Bronwyn has finally admitted to reading this. And she
offered me some advice on how to handle this . . . thing with
Marcus. Laid out three options for me and gave me the upside
and the downside of each one. Actually two options, because
her first solution, which is to do nothing at all, is not
going to make it. I don't know much about this female need
that is starting to simmer inside me, but I do know this.
Trying to pretend it away is a good way to make the pot boil
over. Can you spell "Motherhood"?
And no, if that does happen, I will not abort the baby. And
not because of that threat Mom laid on me right after the
Transformation, either. Since I told Bronnie to keep peaking
(sometimes it is easier to admit I need help here - this
female thing is still kind of scary to talk about out loud) I
won't say what the threat was. Bronwyn might not know about
it and I don't want Mom to be embarrassed by it. However, I
know her and her beliefs well enough by now to realize she was
bluffing to keep me from doing something stupid.
No, the baby would stay because I would not do that to Marcus.
So, I have only two options, and only one that assures I don't
have to spell that M word. Bronwyn gave me this kinky "how-
to" book, some stuff in a tube and recommended that I practice
before I try it with Marcus.
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 3 months 18 days A. T.
OMIGOD! I just browsed through that book. NOW I understand
"practice". There were pictures of women using rubber dicks
on themselves. . . umm. . back there. From behind.
Now that I have seen it in the book, I keep swiveling my head
over to the strap on harness and dildo Mom and Bronwyn bought
me last summer. It really would fit??? There?!?!
Near as I can recall, it is about the same size as Marcus.
Maybe this is something you work up to. . . there were
pictures of women using their fingers, too. I mean, heck, the
doctor did that to Jack once, during a physical.
Now, Jack, maybe it is different if you are turned on when it
happens, or if you are doing it for fun. Doctors probably
don't like sticking their fingers up guys' butts either, so
they probably don't do it the way Bronwyn's book describes.
Hey. It is my butt and you are just along for the ride. You
keep your snide comments to yourself, mister. This is hard
enough as it is.
Is this where I stamp my foot and say "Men!" in an utterly
disgusted tone of voice? Consider it stamped and said.
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 3 months 27 days A. T.
On the humorous side, Mom's publisher decided to update her
computer system so it is compatible with what they use at the
main office. Really nice lash-up - almost as good as mine
overall, but with a much better CPU. Mom is petrified. First
of all, she has to learn a new word processor program.
Secondly, they also put in an ISDN high speed data line into
the house so she can send her stuff to them by modem now, and
worse, so they can send markups back to her.
She took one look at the sample "red-lined" galleys they sent
her, with the strike-out fonts and everything, and screamed.
Scared the heck out of me.
I spent most of the weekend teaching her to use the new
software and configuring everything so she has to do as little
as possible to get done what she needs to do. The set up is
almost bulletproof, now. Whether it is Mom-proof or not is
another question. I kinda doubt anything could be, though.
We will see.
Wonder where I got my technical genes? My dad, probably.
Certainly not from Mom. It also makes me wonder how she
pulled off fixing all Jack's records to be Jacqueline. Must
have been purely magic. She sure doesn't have the cyber-
skills to do it any other way.
Poor Mom. Her first electronically transmitted manuscript is
due next week. Guess I better plan to be home that day. Heh
End Journal Entry.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 4 months 2 days A. T.
Two major things happened yesterday. First of all, Bonnie was
back for a visit today. Only, Bonnie was me. Or is that, I
was Bonnie? Who cares! I pulled off the shape shifting spell
all the way today. Hair color and length, skin tone, height,
figure, face - the whole thing. Well, almost the whole thing.
I forgot to change the hair between my legs. Guess I wasn't a
"natural blond". But I could have changed it! Bronwyn was
really proud of me. So was Mom.
I think I surprised them, too, because of what I did with my
first all-the-way solo spell. They were expecting me to try
Jack back on for size, but really, what's the point? What am
I going to do - go find a pre-operative transsexual to play
with because the plumbing would still be the internal stuff.
The second really big thing is that the big thing finally
FIT!!! I got the darn lump of rubber all the way in. AT LAST!
It only hurt a little this time, and only at the very
beginning. Playing with myself before and after I started to
insert the dildo made it a little easier. It doesn't feel as
good as making love with Mom and Bronwyn, but it is not a
barefoot walk through the Valley of Death, either.
I wonder if there is something I am not doing right. I bet
Bronwyn would know. Maybe it is time to ask for help again.
Hmmmmm. She is coming over tonight again. Maybe . . .
I have a great idea!
End Journal Entry
Her body warm and still glistening from her shower, Bronwyn
walked into Laurie's bedroom. Laurie was also nude, and was
laying on her tummy, reading. The lovely half moons of her
ass beckoned to Bronwyn who fell upon her lover like a
A few minutes later, the two women were too deeply involved to
notice when Jacqui slipped in the door. That suited Jacqui
just fine. It would ruin her surprise if they looked up too
soon. Silently, she crept to the bed where the two women lay
locked in an exuberant sixty-nine, her Mother on top of
Bronwyn with her back to Jacqui. It was perfect, she thought.
Only when the thick rubber organ gently bounced off her
forehead did Bronwyn realize that Jacqui had arrived and how
she was attired. She made a quick survey of the girl. So
what if the adjustment of the harness was not quite perfect -
that only meant that the teaser on the base of the dildo would
not give Jacqui quite as much of a jolt as it might have. It
was the thought and the courage to face her little fears that
really counted. Grinning encouragement, Bronwyn slipped down
a bit, and used her fingers to gently spread the lips of
Jacqui swallowed hard, and then slowly nudged the artificial
penis into the mouth of her Mother's sex. Thoroughly aroused,
and teased to near madness by Bronwyn's talented tongue,
Laurie surged backwards to capture more of whatever Bronwyn
was using to fill her.
The cheeks of her bottom made firm contact with flesh as she
engulfed the full length. Surprised, she twisted and saw her
daughter arching into her and felt her surprisingly strong
hands grasp her hips. Gently at first, then gradually picking
up in confidence, speed and force, Jacqui began stroking the
strap on in and out of her Mother.
The combination of being filled while Bronwyn's tongue danced
fire across her loins, shattered Laurie's control and she went
momentarily mad. She buried her face in the humid warmth of
Bronwyn's sex and alternately feasted on and screamed into her
friend. Laurie's triumphant scream of completion tripped
Bronwyn over the edge, too. Jacqui tried to ride with her
Mother, tried to stay inside her as long as she could, but one
particularly vigorous spasm unseated her. Pleased with her
part in this, she just stepped back and watched her two
favorite people enjoy their pleasures.
When all was again quiet, Jacqui crawled in beside the two
women and was immediately enfolded in twin hugs. Bronwyn and
Laurie took special care to thank her and to tell her how
wonderful it had been for them.
After they'd recovered, Bronwyn asked, "So, Jacqui, it's your
turn now. What would you like best?"
Shyly, Jacqui whispered. "Would you do me? With this?" her
hand trailed down to the erect toy dangling between her legs.
"Like in the book you gave me?" She handed Bronwyn the now
half empty tube of lubricant. "I have been practicing." she
hastened to add.
"I'd love to, darling." and then, because she saw the touch of
fear still hiding in the girl's eyes, she said. "I think we
will make it a tie up game, too. That way, you won't wiggle
That brought Jacqui upright! "No.... No, I don't think so,
Bronwyn. I don't think I want to do this that way..."
A gentle finger on the lips stilled the flood of refusals.
"Same rules as last time, love. You say "red light" and we
will stop immediately. I just want to be fully in control for
your first time. Remember, just relax and let me do the
work." Bronwyn's voice became softly intense. "Just trust me,
"Oh, you know I do." was the immediate reply. "I trust both
of you. Okay. Just go slow. I have gotten it all the way
in, but I have not had any sexy feelings from it. Other than
a very odd "full-feeling"."
Moving their hands to the buckles, the two women began undoing
the harness all the while grinning at each other like loons.
It was going to be a very auspicious night.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 4 months 3 days A. T.
If I am walking a little funny today, it is completely
justified. I was right - I was missing something when I was
using the dildo to work on my ass. Another person, or rather
other persons, interested in making it wonderful for me. And
I can handle being passive.
Once in a while. Maybe once a month. Kind of overwhelming,
and just a little frustrating. Nicely frustrating, though.
Jacqui, you are not making a whole lot of sense. The facts,
Once Bronwyn had me tied to the bed with the pillows under my
hips to make my bottom "a good target", she and Mom forgot
about the dildo all together and proceeded to drive me insane.
Once I got a *little* demanding, so Mom gagged me with
Bronwyn's panties. My *Mom* did that! She said I wasn't going
to get my way, anyway, so I might as well be quiet. But she
gave me a little ball to drop if I wanted to red light.
I also got more than a few swats across my tush for "not doing
what I was told like a good little girl." Passive, hell. Just
wait till I get my next turn.
The sneaky darlings used every trick in the book keep me on
the ragged edge without letting me tip over for more than an
hour. At some point during all that teasing, they started
playing with my bottom. I was so far gone, it all just kept
When Bronwyn started slipping the dildo into me, all I could
think of was why was she going so SLOW. Meanwhile, Mom
slipped under me and was driving me crazy with that tongue of
I am surprised that the straps they tied me down with did not
snap with they finally let me cum. I was a wild woman.
And they weren't through with me. Seems Mom wanted a turn.
Guess what? It was even easier the second time and I came
just as hard.
Bronwyn needs a new pair of panties. Seems the pair she had
are a little. . . . . chewed.
I can't WAIT for Marcus to come home for Christmas. Maybe I
should keep practicing with Mom and Bronwyn, though. Just so
I won't forget how to do it.
Marcus. Hmmmmmmmm. You don't think he'd go for it, Jack?
Really? I mean, gee, you did not have any complaints once
Bronnie got us all heated up and slipped it into our bottom.
I mean, boys have bottoms, too, same as girls, right? Well,
maybe later on, then. Besides, I don't think Marcus is quite
the scaredicat you are, Jack.
Well, I have to get to work. Finals are coming up and I have
a big programming project due in each of the computer science
courses and a term paper for the para-psych course. I am
using the stuff I pulled off the 'Net to write my paper on the
Concept of Good and Evil among Wiccans. Waste not, want not.
End Journal Entry.
A Change of Direction
Christmas Break at last, thought Jacqui, as she happily moved
toward the bus stop. Marcus was home and she was ready for
him. Now, if he'd just pass her teensie little test, she was
going to make him a very lucky and very happy young man.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 4 Months 21 days A. T.
I am really ashamed of myself. My little test of Marcus went
just as I had dreamed it would and now I feel bad that I ever
doubted him in the slightest.
Jealousy is not a productive emotion. I do not like the way
So, what did I do? I tempted him and I teased him - quite
outrageously. In disguise. I used my shape shifting ability
to become a red haired sex bomb. Think of a cross between
Geena Davis and Pamela Anderson Lee. I thought about doing
Scully for sentimental reasons, but in the end, I discarded
that idea for all the obvious reasons.
Marcus was waiting for me at the student union at my college
here in town. At the last moment, I called and told him I had
gotten tied up with my advisor and would be late. Then I
showed up in my little disguise and tried to entice him into a
He was wonderful. Polite, but not encouraging. Friendly, but
just a bit distant. I know I was hot - I had almost every guy
in the room trying to figure out how to hit on me, but my
Marcus just smiled and excused himself to leave.
I felt like a rat. I was *very* nice to him when I did see
him as myself to make it up to him. Even if he did not know
who the redhead was.
At first, he was hesitant to make love to my ass. He worried
that I was only offering to give him my ass because I felt
"guilty" about wanting to keep my virginity. I never
appreciated before this how very hard it is for a woman to
rape a man, and it is particularly to rape a man using your
butt. But I tried. It was pretty funny, actually, and that
is what finally did him in. He figured if I could laugh, I
was really enjoying it. It took a little doing (and a LOT of
grease), but we finally did it.
I showed him the book Bronwyn gave me (no, I did not tell him
where I got it. I did not tell him that I'd been practicing,
either.) and we spent the afternoon trying out a few
positions. I particularly like the one where we are face to
face with me on the bottom and my hips are riding up on his
thighs a bit. In that position, his pubic bone glides up and
down the length of my clit whenever he strokes in and out.
I also like the book's recommended cleansing ritual after each
time we make love that way. The one where I see to it that
his penis is properly and *thoroughly* cleaned? As I think I
have said in this journal before, I *love* teasing him.
Amazing what you can do to even a very tired cock with nice
soapy hands and a gentle touch.
For all that, I think we will be working on his oral skills
for next couple of days. We seem to have overdone, today.
Sitting is a constant reminder of today's adventures. And I
don't even want to *think* about having to go to the bathroom.
End Journal Entry
In late January, the two young people bid each other a sad
farewell and returned to their respective colleges for the
start of their Spring Term studies. Jacqui, however, also had
another course of study that was also going to demand her
attention, as well.
Bronwyn had left San Bernardino on some type of business trip
right after the New Year, but not before she had made the girl
a promise. Sensitive to Jacqui's new sexual experience and
her heightened self awareness, Bronwyn and Laurie had decided
that it was finally time to begin teaching Jacqui the
fundamentals of the Transformation Spell. Unfortunately,
before they could begin the training, the trip to Texas had
Jacqui was in class that afternoon in early February when
Bronwyn had returned to California. Laurie met her at the
airport and then drove them both straight back to her house.
"How did it go with Bobbie?" Laurie asked the obviously
exhausted Bronwyn once they were on the Freeway.
Her head resting against the seat and her eyes closed, Bronwyn
responded. "Fine. Roberta and her unborn son are doing well,
and are on track for a mid-March birth. I visited her doctor
while I was in Austin, and he is pleased with the progress of
the pregnancy. As to our other concern, I completed the
training her Mother left undone when she died last fall. She
is now fully ready to be the parent of a future member of the
"So she knows the Birth Rites now, and understands their
"Yes. And she is knows all she needs to know about the
Transformation Spell, too. I think she may have figured out
the importance of nursing the child, but I did not tell her
that. I just made sure she understood how important it is for
children of the Sisterhood to be nursed immediately."
"Jacqui will be disappointed you are so tired. I think she
has a surprise planned for you."
Bronwyn snorted. "I think it will have to wait until I have
slept about five days." The car pulled into the drive and
Bronwyn opened her eyes, surprised to be home so soon. "Hey,
this is your house."
"Yep. You are bushed, and in need of some serious pampering.
Jacqui will see that you get it. If I took you home, you
would be up too soon working on your latest suspense novel."
"Its overdue." was Bronwyn's weak protest.
"And a few more days won't make a difference. Now it is your
choice. Go to bed on your own, or with a healer's push."
Grumbling, Bronwyn got out of the car. "Since I do want to
wake up in a few days, I will do it on my own. You would
probably keep me asleep for week."
"I wouldn't, but Jacqui would. She is much more sensitive to
you than I am. She's the one who told me you would need rest.
I think she is attuned to you, High Priestess."
"Great. Just what I need. An overly-powerful, under-
controlled novice with her psychic nose in my business."
"She is pretty great, isn't she?" Laurie gushed maternally.
Bronwyn nodded as she let herself be led up to bed. "Yeah,
she is that. Now, if we can just keep her."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 6 months 2 days A. T.
I let Bronwyn wake up yesterday. Afterwards, she spent the
rest of the morning sulking. (You did, too, Bronwyn. Just ask
Mom). Still, the rest did wonders for her and she is back in
Today, she and Mom started teaching me the Transformation
Spell. Actually, if I understand what they said, they also
*finished* teaching me the Transformation Spell. Which is
really strange, considering it took me almost four months to
get any knack at all with the shape shifting magic.
I am going to write this all down, and then talk to Bronwyn
and Mom from this entry afterwards. That should help me
decide if I have gotten this all down.
Essentially, the Transformation Spell is very simple. I can
actually cast it right now - on someone else. What I cannot
do with it is use it on myself. The reason for that is not a
matter of lack of power, but rather, lack of self
understanding and lack of control. Rather lowering to realize
I don't have either yet, but Bronwyn says that I still need
some very specific experiences first. Only then will I be
able to turn the magic on myself and not destroy myself in the
To start the day's learning, Mom gave me the family records to
read. These are the real ones, the ones that document our
family's place in the Sisterhood, the birthing of boy children
and their subsequent Transformation into women. I found the
entries of the two men who died trying to undo what their
Mother's had done to them. The one who forced his Mother to
attempt the counter spell cost her more than her child. She
lost the Gift of the Goddess when he died under her spell.
She had been High Priestess of the Sisterhood at the time.
So, what are these "experiences" I need to go through? I
don't know that, either - at least, I don't know the specifics
of them. There are some things I do know. First of all,
there are three of them. And I know a bit about what they are
supposed to be. Bronwyn listed them for me. They are, and I
think this is the order I will face them in, too,
A special awakening.
A special ordeal.
A special re-birth.
Mom and Bronwyn promised me that I will know, instinctively,
when I have met all three requirements. It is just that they
cannot tell me what any of the tests are before hand or the
magic will not work for me. I have given my word not to turn
the Transformation Spell upon myself without that mental "go-
I guess the time for these experiences must be close at hand,
though. They would not be teaching me this now, otherwise.
One thing about Bronwyn, she does nothing without a reason.
As much as I love that sexy lady, she can be one cold,
calculating woman when she thinks something is important.
End Journal Entry.
"She wrote out just about the entire lesson word for word in
her journal, Laurel. I cannot get over the powers of recall
and intuition she has developed."
"I know what you mean. Has she given any indication that she
knows what the three experiences really entail?"
"No, but I am not sure if that is because she has not
speculated on what they are, or if she has an idea and does
not want to face the thought of what they entail. Conception
of a child is the awakening, the trauma of giving birth is the
ordeal, and giving suckle to a child of her own body is the
re-birth." She smiled at her friend. "We never figured it
out until afterwards, did we?" her tone was meant to
"*We* never did a lot of the things she has done since
Transformation. Goddess, Bronwyn, if she had gotten pregnant
last summer, she'd be coming into her full power now. In only
eighteen months! That is incredibly fast. I can't find any
record of anyone being faster."
"You think she might figure the riddle out?" Bronwyn was
"I don't know, Bronwyn. She may be trying not to think about
it because we told her it might interfere with the magic, but
you have seen how strong her intuition has gotten. I think it
is very possible she may unwittingly solve it without even
"Yes, she is that bright, isn't she? Damn! Well, there is
only one thing we can do now if we are going to keep our word
to her. I will remove all of my inhibition spells from
Marcus. In fact, I am going to give him a bit of nudge so
that he thoroughly ravishes her next month when he is home on
Thoughtfully, Laurie nodded. She no longer believed her
daughter would harm a child of her own body as she had
threatened to do all those many months ago. Hadn't she said
as much in her journal a few months back? "Make sure he is
wonderful for her, Bronwyn. It should be wonderful for a girl
her first time. Please?"
A feline smile lit Bronwyn's face. "Oh, he will be superb,
darling. I guarantee it. He will drive her make her crazy
and make her love every second of it. My word on it, darling.
You have my word on it. So be it." she said in the oath of
"So be it." repeated Laurie, her voice choking with emotion at
what they had just ordained for Jacqui.
Lancaster read the copy of the doctor's report on the status
of the Lawler-bitch's pregnancy. It pleased him. All was
normal and she would deliver in the next week to two weeks.
His Investigations Chief had been particularly thorough with
this one. Members of the Brotherhood now worked at the
hospital she would be taken to for the birth. They would
alert the action team and help them stage themselves for the
abduction. Soon, he thought. Very soon and I will understand
something that is key to the survival of the Sisterhood. When
I understand that, I can take action against it, hopefully
crippling that weak gaggle of weakling men-made-women. All he
had to do was wait patiently a while longer and he would learn
what he needed to know to destroy the Sisterhood once and for
all time. Anticipation had a lovely taste. he thought,
especially the anticipation of blood.
A Change of Direction
The phone in Laurie's bedroom rang. Fumbling in the dark, she
reached over to answer it. An excited voice stumbled over the
words, and had to repeat them twice. Whoever it was, wanted
to speak to Bronwyn - *immediately*. She shook her lover
awake and handed over the receiver before padding off to the
When she returned, the bedroom was ablaze with light, and a
tear-stricken Bronwyn was furiously pulling on her clothes.
"Bronwyn, what is the matter?" Laurie asked moving to her
"It's Bobbie." she sobbed, dashing away a tear. "She had the
child tonight, but no sooner had they taken the child from the
birth canal, then armed men stormed the birthing room. The
nurse midwife and the attending doctor were killed. The baby
and Bobbie have disappeared. I am leaving on the next flight
to Austin to help the Sisters search."
"Do...do we know if the rites were performed?" Laurie asked.
"No, but it would seem that they weren't. An intern watching
on closed circuit television told the first Sister on the
scene that the men took the child from the midwife's hands
before she had even straightened up from catching him."
A cold chill ran down Laurie's spine. "That sounds terribly
like whoever did this was trying to prevent the Birth Rites.
That means it is probably the Brotherhood behind this."
Grimly, Bronwyn nodded. "I agree. That is why I want you to
alert the Sisterhood. I want a search team in Austin as soon
as we can possibly get them there. And I want you to be
standing by to come if we need . . . if we need a healer."
Laurie nodded and helped Bronwyn into her jacket. "I will
call as soon as I know anything. Take care of Jacqui, luv."
And with that, she was out the door. Alone and afraid, Laurie
stood there in the center of the room, at a loss about what to
do next. Then she knew. Getting her robe, she went out of
her room and down the hall to Jacqui's room where she crawled
into bed beside her child. Someone she knew may well have
lost a child this night. May the Goddess have mercy on anyone
who tried to take or to harm *her* child. Laurel Donovan,
gentle healer and high adept of the peace loving Sisterhood,
would have none.
Lancaster was well pleased with this evening's work. The
woman and the child had been kept separate since their
capture. Gloating, he examined the small woman more closely.
She had some Asian blood in her with those small bones and
that long, straight, black hair. Contemptuously, he asked
himself how anyone could think that this puny female, this un-
manned creature, could possibly be someone that he, the High
Leader of the Brotherhood, First in the Power of the Dark One,
should have to fear? It was laughable.
The child chose that moment to awaken and to announce that
fact loudly in the way of all newborns. Not accustomed to
children, the noise angered Lancaster who reacted as he always
did when upset. He struck out at the nearest being to him.
His back hand brought Roberta out of the half conscious state
she had been in since the birth of her child.
Dazed, she looked up at Lancaster's furious face. "Shut that
child up, woman. Now!" He was bellowing.
"He's hungry." She said in a thready whisper. "He won't stop
until he's been fed."
The noise was more than the Lancaster could stand. Without
thinking, he snatched the bawling child up and nearly threw
him at the woman. "Then FEED him."
Roberta did not expect to survive this, but she feared her
child might. Quickly, she bared her breast and put the child
to her nipple, all the while mumbling the words of the Birth
Rites that been taught to her by the High Priestess. She had
just completed the silently spoken spell when her child found
and clamped onto her puckered nipple. As he began to suck
furiously at her, she felt something start to build inside
her. It grew and became stronger, until it was like her
nipple was connected to an electrical circuit.
And then, she knew it all. The full power of the
Transformation Spell was now hers to command. Holding her
child tightly against her breast, she sang the song of power,
felt the power come to her, felt it enfold her, and finally,
felt it change her.
The men in the room saw it, too. Suddenly, the tiny woman was
over seven feet tall and still growing. Huge muscles bulged
on her limbs, and hard shell-like armor seemed to appear about
her body. The first of the Brothers to recover hurled himself
at her and was flung aside like a doll, crumpling against the
wall. A melee ensued, with the Brothers trying to subdue the
huge monster-woman, but their weapons, bodies and powers were
unequal to the task. Grimly, Roberta started moving toward
the door and freedom, determined to escape this place and to
warn her Sisters.
Lancaster had stood apart during the free-for-all, partly
because he was furious with himself for having been the one to
give the child to the woman, and partly to ascertain the full
extent of the woman's power. His inaction ended when he saw
her make a break for the door. With great deliberation, he
raised both of his hands above his head. His lips moved,
making soundless words in a language known only to the
followers of the Dark One. The raised hands turned black and
began to shimmer and pulse with a strange glow that heralded
the total absence of light rather than its presence. The glow
coalesced into a writhing mass that was contained between his
two hands for just a moment, and then it reached out to the
fleeing Transformed Sister and her child.
The instant the lightlessness touched her, Roberta screamed in
hellish agony. The dark hole enveloped her, surrounded her
and blotted her from the view of those Brothers still awake to
see it. Suddenly, the screams stopped, and Lancaster lowered
his hands. Without his will to hold it contained, the
lightlessness gave way to light and revealed the bodies of a
dead woman and a dead child. Interestingly to Lancaster, the
spell that had changed the woman into that amazon monster had
not died with her.
It was too bad she had died before he could have learned
everything he wanted to know, and even worse that the child
had died. Still, he had learned something tonight. Whatever
had happened to the woman, it had happened to her after she
had begun feeding the brat. Was that some type of rite of
passage for these women who had once been men? Did they only
come into their full power after suckling their infant? That
had to be it, thought Lancaster triumphantly. Now he had
them. Now he could turn their very rites against them. He,
Lancaster, had the means to finally destroy the Sisterhood.
He looked at the injured men he'd brought with him. All
alive, he thought. She could not even kill to protect her
whelp. How hopelessly weak they are. "Dispose of the bodies
in the acid tank. I want nothing left of them." he ordered
his Investigations Chief as he strode to the door. This
called for a drink.
"She's gone, Laurie. I felt her die. She's dead and her
child with her." came the sobbing voice on the other end of
the phone line.
"You are sure? There is no doubt?"
She heard Bronwyn blow her nose and take a deep cleansing
breath. "We don't have the bodies, if that's what you mean,
but I felt her use the Transformation Spell, Laurie." Another
deep breath. "And I felt the Dark Power take her. She died
at the hands of a member of the Brotherhood, Laurie. An
incredibly powerful member, perhaps even the High Leader,
"Then we are at war, High Priestess. What are your immediate
"I am coming home, luv. I need to rest and to think. We
don't even know who he is, yet, so we don't know how to attack
him. He is way ahead of us, now, and moving too quickly will
hurt us more than help us. I will see you in a few hours.
May I stay with you tonight?"
"Just you try to stay any place else, lover, and all hell will
break loose. Now get off the phone and get on home to people
who love you."
Laurie hung up the phone, and wished that her daughter was
home where she could protect her and keep her safe. If there
was such a thing as safety, anymore.
Lancaster relaxed, sipping the aged cognac and reviewing the
night's revelations one more time. The woman had come into
her power after she'd given birth and after she'd nursed the
child. The key, then, was to prevent the child from suckling
his mother, but that was not a problem. Lancaster smiled. A
dead woman cannot nurse a child. As if he, the High Leader,
would let one of those bitches feed *his* son. What a coup,
he mused. The next High Leader of the Brotherhood, the son of
the current High Leader and one of the damnable Sisters. A
child born of the power of their Goddess and of his Dark One;
a child in whom the ages-old schism between the power of light
and the power of darkness would be breached.
A child that would be his son and who would serve the
Brotherhood, while destroying the Sisterhood.
All he needed was a Sister to plant his seed in; a Sister who
had not yet given birth and thus, had not yet come into the
fullness of her powers. A powerless Sister who would not be a
threat to him. How he'd make her suffer. He would give her
the full benefit of her new female state by forcing her to
experience, completely unaided by any modern medical
convenience, natural child birth before he killed her. After
all, he could always take the child if he needed to since she
was not going to survive more than a few moments after the
child's birth, anyway. It would be so . . . .sublime.
Fortunately, he knew exactly where to find such a member of
the cursed Sisterhood. Her college advisor still reported
weekly to his Chief of Investigations about her activities and
whereabouts. He'd increase the surveillance on her again, all
the same. She was too important a piece of the puzzle to be
careless with. All he needed was a little more time to finish
his final preparations. He was almost ready. Soon, very
soon, he would strike and take what was rightfully his.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 8 Months 21 days A. T.
The death of Mom's and Bronwyn's friend, Bobbie in childbirth
has cast quite a pall about the house. The baby died, too, so
it is just a bad thing all around. I did not know her, but
Mum and Bronwyn liked her, so she must have been good people.
I suspect she was a member of their Sisterhood, but I have not
asked and they had not volunteered the information.
It has reminded me, quite forcefully, however, of my own
mortality and my newfound femininity. Women still die in
childbirth. I am a woman. Those two facts, taken in
combination, are rather daunting.
I am a woman. I can get pregnant.
I look at those two sentences I just wrote, and I get chills.
They actually have the power to frighten me. They also are
beginning to intrigue me.
On a not unrelated topic, Marcus arrives home today from his
college up north to begin his mid-semester break. We won't
have much time together since his folks are expecting him at
their mountain cabin in the Sierras. It is some kind of
family shindig that everyone goes to every year. He is going
to drive up there tomorrow, but first, he is going to spend
the day *and* the night with me.
Mom and Bronwyn are going to be out of town until tomorrow
about noon. Which, oh by the way, is when Marcus has to
leave. So I went and started planning our little get together
for here. I cannot *wait* to get him into Mom's *HUGE*
bathtub all filled with bubbles and hot water.
Now for the strange part. This morning, Mom calls me in and
tells me that she knows what I am planning, and that she
approves of Marcus. Not only that, but that she wants us to
feel "safe" when we do "whatever it is that you are going to
do". She gave me a box of *condoms*. Condoms for goodness
sake. This is my *MOTHER* and she is giving me *condoms*?? I
was afraid to say the word in her presence when I was still
Guess I have her blessing to go all the way. Amazing.
And I have been *so* very careful these past weeks with my
birth control pills. Well, better doubly safe than sorry, I
guess. I did promise to use the condoms.
I wonder if it as wonderful as those romance novels say it is?
Guess I am going to find out. That's all for now. I have to
go pick up Marcus at the airport.
End Journal Entry
In a hotel room overlooking the ocean, Bronwyn took a sip of
her wine and then turned to look at her preoccupied friend.
Shaking her head in exasperation, she snorted. "It was going
to happen anyway, Laurel. All we did was make it more
comfortable for them, and make sure they had the time to do it
properly." And cast a few spells on young Marcus to make sure
he would do it well, often and potently.
Smiling wanly at herself, Laurie sighed. "I know. We all do
it for the first time once in our lives. And we had to get
the first step of the final experience learning done, too."
That reminded Bronwyn. "So, why did you give her those
condoms? I thought the whole idea was to get her preggers,
not increase the difficulty for those little wigglers of
That did make Laurie smile - a very self satisfied,
conspiratorial smile. "I did it to make sure she or Marcus
were completely uninhibited. You know as well as I do that no
birth control will protect a Sister who, at the critical
moment, wants the baby of the man making love to her. The
power of her desire will cause the condom to leak or break.
Just like the birth control pills will also fail." Laurel
grinned mischievously. "Ever stop to wonder how many of those
mothers who fall into that 10% failure rate attributed to
modern birth control tools are Sisters? No, I think we
surmise that our Jacqui is now primed - prospective motherhood
on the hoof. Especially since I am sure," and here her voice
became saccharine sweet, "that you have probably ensured that
Marcus is a human sperm factory for the next day or so?"
Bronwyn blushed a bit, then grinned a bit. "Well, I might
have given production a little help. Guess she's gonna be a
"Yes, she is. Goddess, but I am too young to be a
grandmother." Laurie wailed.
"Ah, love," soothed Bronwyn as she came over to cuddle her
friend on the bed, "but you will be so good at it." And then
proceeded to distract her friend, lovingly.
The feelings that Jacqui was dealing with as she stood in the
airline terminal awaiting Marcus were just as mixed as her
Mother's were. On one hand, she missed him terribly and
wanted to be with him all the time. On the other hand, his
attentions reminded her of what she had lost when she had been
Transformed. Jack had never gotten to as close to a girl as
she was permitting Marcus to get to her.
He was going to get very close, today, too. All the way, and
where nature expected him to be when he made love to a woman.
Even with the double barreled birth control she was planning
to use, it still felt like playing Russian Roulette, except
that instead of putting a loaded gun to her head, she was
aiming a loaded penis at her uterus and ovaries.
She'd reminded herself of all the potential dangers of this
decision over and over again. Especially since the girl in
Austin had died, but in the end, it made no difference. She
was going to make love with Marcus because she *needed* to
make love with him. She still had not quite figured out why
that was such an imperative, but she had finally accepted that
it was. She simply had no other choice in the matter.
A moving mass of humanity approached the main terminal from
the arrival gate. A shout that sounded like her name got her
attention and Jacqui turned toward the voice. It was Marcus.
Suddenly, she was running toward him and ended up jumping into
his arms. The moment his arms closed around her and his lips
met hers were a revelation. Everything became clear.
Jacqui Donovan loved Marcus Arnold. Jacqui Donovan was *in
love* with Marcus Arnold.
The truth of it all scared the hell out of her, and she did
what frightened women have done since cave days. She held on
tighter to the man she loved. "Oh shit" she thought amid the
wild whirl of emotions swirling through her, "What am I going
to do, now???" Marcus ended even that limited thinking by
kissing her again.
Somehow, they made it to the house without having an accident
or being stopped for speeding. They were barely through the
door before they were tearing at each other's clothes, trying
to get skin to skin. Marcus was ready to consummate their
passion right there on the floor when the memory of Bobbie
gave Jacqui a moment of rational thought. Scrambling to her
discarded purse, she found the box her Mother had given her
and returned with the plastic packet. She tore it open, and
then reverently and lovingly smoothed the condom over her
lover's erection, making him groan in painful, delighted
anticipation. Then, she went back into his arms, and they
made love on the living room rug.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 8 Months 22 days A. T.
The words to an old rock and roll song that Mom loves keeps
playing in my mind.
"This girl is a woman, now. She's found out what its all
about and she's learnin'... learnin' to live....."
Who sang that thing...Plunket? No, he was a quarterback. Oh
yeah...the name was Puckett - Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.
What a weird name for a rock group. Only in my case, maybe
the song should go "This boy is a woman, now..".
Hey, Bronwyn. I just made a joke about it. How about that?
It is strange, though, while he was inside me? All I could
think of was that *if* I was going to have a baby, I would
want it to be his. When he nuzzled my breast and suckled my
nipple, an image of his child sucking there was flashed across
my mind's eye.
Cripes, what is with me? These female hormones are really
getting out of hand, here. Still . . . A baby. Hmmmmmmm.
And I even managed to be submissively passive for him.
Sort of. But it was _damned hard_!!!
Anyway, Marcus just left in a cab. He is going to his house to
pick up a few things and to get his car. I wanted to drive
him, but he said he wanted the last thing he remembers of this
wonderful day and night is me, lying naked and tousled on
Mum's rumpled bed. What woman could resist a request like
that? How could any man resist the appeal I made to him when
he walked out that door???
Maybe he could resist my somewhat blatant offer because of all
the times we did it in the past eighteen hours. Good thing
Mom gave me a full dozen of those things. We almost needed
most of them.
And it *is* wonderful like those romance novels Mom made me
read said it could be. Marcus is very, very good at it, and
he listens to me while we are making love, so he is always
doing *something* that feels good.
I miss him already.
Well, he is going to come back before returning to school. I
will need more condoms. I'll get some more today. It will
make me feel like a loose woman. Then I am going to take a
nap. I have not had much sleep in the past few hours.
End Journal Entry.
The Chief of Investigations demanded to see the High Leader.
He was so frightened, he did not bother to worry about hurting
the feelings of the toad who guarded the High Leader's office.
After being shown in, he moved quickly to the large desk and
began without waiting to be given leave to speak. "High
Leader, you ordered that you be informed immediately if
something came to light with regard to the woman you have
selected as the Mother of your Son." He handed the Leader a
packet of surveillance photographs.
"The young male is Marcus Arnold. He is the young man that she
dated towards the end of her high school senior year. He
attends college up in Oregon or Washington. We have not had
him under surveillance since he has not had prior contact with
the girl since you ordered her watched again."
"Until now." growled the High Leader as he shuffled through
the packet of photos.
"Until now," agreed the Chief. "Yesterday, she met him at the
airport where they kissed quite passionately before returning
to the girl's house. There was no sign of either of them
until noon today when the male left by taxi. I ordered a
surveillance team on him and they are now following him. The
girl left the house shortly after that and went to a nearby
drug store where she purchased two large boxes of condoms."
All color drained from Lancaster's face. "What did you say?"
he growled in whispered tones.
"Condoms, High Leader. She purchased condoms." The Chief was
fighting to maintain his dignity and professionalism, but it
was damned hard when he knew his next word could be his last.
Lancaster was killing furious, now. "She made the purchase
and returned to her home. She has not left since, although her
Mother and Llewellyn have returned from the hotel they stayed
at last night."
"She is going to fuck that boy???" Lancaster roared. "She is
the Chosen One. The Mother of my Son, and she is going to
give herself to a boy???" Lancaster's fist smashed into the
desk top. His eyes burned with anger tinged with madness.
The Chief silently steeled himself for the killing blow he
felt sure was coming. The only reason he had delivered the
report himself was in the hope that the High Leader would kill
him out of hand, in a fit of fury. The alternative was to die
as his predecessor had, slowly and in great pain. However,
Lancaster seemed to regain control of himself. Slowly, with
great deliberation, he reseated himself at his desk and
brought his hands together to clasp them on the desktop. "I
won't have it, Chief." he said soberly. "Where is the boy,
"Our followers reported in just before I came in here, sir.
He is heading into the mountains. Evidently his family has a
large vacation home up in the high country."
"He does not arrive at his destination, Chief. Have the
followers arrange an accident - a fatal accident. I want him
dead within the hour or you and the followers will die
sometime next month. Do you understand me?" The eyes were
cold now, but it was a mad cold.
The Chief lost control of his bladder and wet his pants. "Ye.
. ye . .yessir. I understand. It will be as you say, sir."
and he ran from the room without being given leave to depart.
Jacqui stretched in her bed. She felt marvelous. Even the
twinges in her belly, where muscles she never knew she had and
Jack never did have, ached from the unusual exercise of the
Idly, she replayed the lovemaking in her mind. It had been so
great. Whether it could have been so good for her as Jack,
she did not know, but it no longer seemed to matter. She
loved Marcus. Marcus loved Jacqui. She would be a fool to
give that up for a penis in a poke.
Jacqui Donovan was not any kind of a fool.
The key question in her mind now was how to break the news
that she was a witch to her chosen male. She had a really
neat idea, too. Bronwyn had said she could use the shape
shifting spell on others as well as on herself. As long as
they were close by, anyway. Well, Marcus would be very close
when she played her prank.
She wondered how he'd react when he woke up after one of their
love making sessions and found himself looking like Jacqui and
lying next to a body that looked like Marcus? He'd freak, she
thought happily. But, then he'd see the male genitals on
"Jacqui" and the female genitals on "Marcus". It would be
awkward, but Jacqui figured they'd make it work, somehow.
"Jacqui?" Her mother was calling from downstairs. "You have
a phone call. It is Mrs. Arnold."
Getting up, she padded to her door. "I'll take it in your
room, Mum." she called down.
Laurie went back to her library to work on the logistics plan
she was developing for the Sisterhood. With the Brotherhood
was becoming so open in their attacks, they would need
supplies and safe houses in the coming months. She had just
begun to analyze the next set of requirements when Jacqui's
scream of anguish tore through her.
She was up the stairs and at Jacqui's side in seconds. Jacqui
flew to her Mother and nearly strangled her with her embrace.
"He's dead, Mum. Oh sweet lord, Marcus is dead."
Stunned, Laurie simply held her daughter for long moments
before she could even ask. "Marcus is dead? How, child?"
Jacqui fought for control and eased her death grip on her
Mother. "His... his brakes failed. Up in the mountains near
his parents' cottage. He could not control the car on one of
the bends in the road. He crashed into a rail guard which
broke and the car dropped into a canyon."
"Goddess." Laurie whispered. The man who had taken her
daughter's virginity, and who, according to Laurie's healer
senses, was the father of her grandson. Jacqui had gotten
pregnant. She would not know it herself for a few weeks, but
Laurie knew, and she would have to make sure her daughter did
not lose that child in her grief.
Maternally bullying the girl into bed, Laurie made her a
special tea that would calm her without harming the tiny
fetus. It worked quickly, and Jacqui started to doze. "You
know what hurts so much, Mum? I was thinking of marriage when
the call came. I was dreaming of how I would tell him
about......about the magic. I was going to shift our shapes
into images of each other while he slept, and then make
fantastic love to him before he could freak out on me. Now,
he's gone." She was quiet for a moment. "Now, he's gone."
was the last thing she said before drifting into sleep.
Laurie went into her room to get her cordless phone. She made
a quick call to Bronwyn, and then took the phone into Jacqui's
room and settled in a chair to watch over her daughter.
"It is done, High Leader, as you ordered." the Chief was back
in Lancaster's office. He had not even taken the time to
change is urine stained trousers. "They used the Dark Power
to sever his brake line and to accelerate the draining of the
hydraulic fluid. The brakes failed on a particularly steep
part of the road and he could not slow enough to control the
The High Leader said nothing, but stared pointedly at the
large circular stain near the Chief's fly, a smile playing on
his lips. Then he spoke. "Very well. Now, I want the
preparations for taking the girl accelerated. I don't want
her meeting another boy and using him to assuage her female
lusts. When will the sanctuary be ready?"
"We can have everything ready to hold her indefinitely in a
few weeks. The only reason we can't have it in two weeks time
is the security system. You ordered the best one available,
and the supplier cannot install for another three weeks. We
are already paying premiums to have them that early."
Lancaster nodded. He wanted the girl, but he wanted to *keep*
the girl. He would wait for the sanctuary to be fully ready.
"Keep an eye on her. Don't let her get close to any other
males. Now get out here and change those pants. You foul my
The humiliation in the man's face was a delight to Lancaster.
Grinning, he admitted that fear was not the only emotion he
enjoyed invoking in others.
A Change of Direction
Jacqui awoke slowly. Her eyes did not want to open.
Something sticky was pulling at her lashes. Then she
remembered why there was the residue of dried tears gluing her
Marcus. Her Marcus was dead.
The tears started afresh as she lay in her bed where less than
forty eight hours before, she had joyfully given up her
virginity. And now, the man she had wanted, loved and needed
badly enough to make him the recipient of that gift was dead.
A miasma of seemingly unrelated and totally illogical emotions
swirled about inside her. Love, despair, hope, loss, a sense
of things being right and a sense of things being wrong. And
a sense of something else. Something dark. Something very
It was all so confusing. How could she feel hope just now, or
that underpinning of hope? Marcus was dead. And yet, that is
what she felt. One thing she had come to accept over the 21
months of being a woman was that what she felt or sensed did
not necessarily make rational sense when analyzed critically.
Still, Jacqui had learned *not* to discount such intangible
insights anymore. The changes in her chess play and her
divination of her Mother's intent to commit suicide were proof
that those feelings were important and that they meant . . .
something. No, there was something going on. Several things,
in fact, if each of those impressions meant something
different. The strongest feeling was that the danger was not
over, but even then, the hope would not go away.
Jacqui needed help. She was still new enough to this
intuition sense of hers that she did not know how to interpret
so much contradictory input. She needed her Mother. Rising,
she quickly dressed and then slipped out of her room. Moving
quietly down the stairs, her attention was drawn to the sound
of voices in her Mother's library. Bronwyn was here talking
to her Mother. So much the better, she thought grimly.
She stopped just outside the door, attempting to gather
herself before facing them. She did not want to break down
again before she had gotten out what it was she wanted to say.
Laurie was seated at her desk, but with chair spun away from
the state of the art computer so she could face Bronwyn.
Jacqui had to smile. Her mother might own the best computer
money could bye, she might have high speed data lines
installed in the house, but she hated the things with a
passion. The computer served as a word processor for her
Mother's writing and as a means to communicate with her
At least, Jacqui thought that was all she did with it.
Although, with all that capability, it was also an ideal tool
to deal with fixing records and things like that. At least,
that is how Jacqui would do it. Still, that would require
very sophisticated computer skills. Had her Mother been
pretending to be so computer illiterate when that new machine
had arrived? If not, then the Sisterhood must have someone
inside the group who saw to the record keeping and record
changing. Unless they did it by magic.
"It is just too much too soon to be coincidence, Laurel.
First Roberta and now Jacqui through Marcus." Bronwyn's voice
broke into Jacqui's musings. "Two novice members of the
Sisterhood attacked mere weeks apart. The report from our
Sister on the investigating team said that she sensed the
remnants of power in the failed brake line. Nothing that
ordinary police methods would uncover or even recognize, but
this woman is a sensitive. She says it was the Dark Power
that did it, not routine wear and tear."
*THAT* got Jacqui's attention. Roberta's death and Marc's
death had not been natural or accidental? Quietly, she crept
back from the door and listened. She concentrated on opening
her mind as Bronwyn had been trying to teach her to do, tried
to focus that strange intuitive sense she still did not fully
understand, but now fully accepted.
"Which marches with what Mrs. Arnold said to Jacqui. The car
had only recently been in for maintenance and inspection. No
problems noted with the brakes."
"The only problem is how would anyone know to attack either of
them. There are no records which point to them being Sisters.
Very few even know that we exist. How could anyone know to
attack them?" Bronwyn was frustrated. "What could possibly
point them out as members of the Sisterhood?"
A mental image of Laurie by the computer flared momentarily in
Jacqui's mind again. That *was* it. Somehow, Jacqui was
absolutely sure of it. Her Mother was every bit as inept as
she seemed. Laurie did everything by rote on a computer.
She even resisted getting upgrades to software because she
hated having to learn new things on the machine.
The idea crystalized and became firm in her mind. Jacqui
moved out of the shadows and into the library. "How good are
your record changing methods?" came a soft voice behind them.
They turned to see a wan and tired Jacqui standing in the
Laurie's library door. Slowly, she moved into the room and
took a chair.
"Hello, darling." Laurie said gently. "What do you mean, how
good are our methods?"
"How complete are the record changes you make when you
Transform someone? How far reaching are the changes? What
kind of checks do you make to ensure there are not any
remaining records of the male identity?"
Bronwyn shrugged. "Where ever we are living at the time, we
make sure that no official agency has any records that show
the male identity. Schools, credit cards, banks, licenses,
social security and the like. It is not all that hard to do."
she said complacently.
"That's all?" was Jacqui's disbelieving rejoinder. "That is
really *all* you do? Just local stuff and basic government
records?" There was no longer even a hint of doubt in Jacqui's
mind. This was the problem. If she had been a cat, her fur
would have been standing on end.
Confused by the tinge of contempt in Jacqui's tones, Bronwyn
answered "Well, yes. It is all we have ever needed to do.
Why, Jacqui? What is wrong?"
Shaking her head, Jacqui looked up. "Everything, Bronwyn.
This is the Information Age. Everybody knows everything about
everybody. Or at least, they can. Information is contained
around the country in multiply redundant systems so that the
failure of one does not cause the loss of some vital
information. Some of those systems update automatically, some
have to ordered to update. You with me so far?" Still
uncertain where this was leading, Bronwyn nodded. "Okay, what
I am proposing would take a huge amount of computing power,
but it is not impossible. Suppose you were looking for a male
to female Transformee. If you could keep your records intact,
all you would have to do is constantly compare your records
with someone else's records - like the old Draft Board or
Social Security. So, if some number's gender changes, you
have a possible Sister." Jacqui turned to his Mother. "My
driver's license and my Social Security Number did not change
when you gave me my new ID's, Mum. If all you did was change
it in the main computer, and did not do some type of all out
Internet-wide search, then it is a good bet that somewhere out
there is still records of John Donovan."
The two older women looked stunned. Then another thought hit
Jacqui. "And that only assumes no one is looking. If some
one is looking, he would mirror key databases, and then lock
his own system down so he could search off line, too."
Laurie was the first to speak. "You are serious about this,
Jacqui? This is possible?"
"Mum, how do you think I got the data on Wicca? If you have
not changed every computer in the country, the information is
probably still out there and available." Jacqui stood and
went over to her Mother's computer, and logged on to her
Mother's account. She did not use her own since her Mother's
had the login script already set. Once online, she set up a
quick web search looking for clues to "John David Donovan."
Grim-faced, Bronwyn watched as the screen scrolled. As she
had been those months ago when Bonnie had watched Jacqui
worked, she was awed and frightened at this power she did not
completely understand. The computer chimed several times,
locating information on other "John David Donovan"s before a
fateful "ding" heralded the discovery of their John David
Donovan. Almost amused, Jacqui said. "I'd all but forgotten
about that one. My interest in them disappeared along with
the collection of classic comic books Mom sent away the day of
my Transformation." The record was in the computer of a comic
book locator group, whose mission was to find and sell
collector comic books. "Anyway, you can see what I mean. And
that did not take all that long."
Bronwyn turned to Laurie. "That means that practically every
Sister is at risk." She said, her voice quavering.
"I'd say the newest of us are at the most risk." Jacqui said
distractedly. "Those who were Transformed before the early
1980's and the wide spread proliferation of small computers
are probably fairly safe."
Both women noted the use of the word "us" with surprise, but
said nothing about that. "Then I will start by warning those
members to take special precautions, before I alert the rest
of the Sisterhood. After that, we have to find out who is
doing this and how."
"Easier said than done, Bronwyn. As I said, the whole thing
can be done offline. You are going to have to hope they've
made a mistake if I am going to find them."
"You?" her eyebrow cocked in surprise. "If *you* are going to
For the first time she'd been told of her lover's death, a
real smile flitted across Jacqui's face. "It's not like either
of you have any hope of finding anything. Now, the two of
you, get out of here and let me work."
"But it is my office and my computer." wailed a protesting
"My modem is broken. I will use your account for the search
until I can get another one hooked up."
"Oh, go ahead. It is not like I use the thing all that much
anyway. I just wish my publisher would still let me send in
typed sheets instead of demanding I transmit my stuff to them
by modem." Laurie fumed.
"Me, too." Bronwyn added with a chuckle. "Wouldn't even have
one of the things, otherwise. Come on, Laurel. We have some
friends to call, and we need to do it from a secure place."
And with that, the two women left.
When they returned, they found Laurie's usually neat and
pristine library littered with paper. Before she could start
her scold, Jacqui started on them. "Roberta Lawler's cover
was completely transparent. I have found innumerable
references to Robert Lawler, complete with social security
number, scattered all across the 'Net. Whoever set up her new
identity did a lousy job. I am convinced this is how she got
Laurie spoke first. "And what does that say about you and
"I don't know, Mum. I tried, but I can't find the same
preponderance of evidence on me. They may have just gotten
lucky, or they may have started working off line between the
time they caught on to Bobbie and when I was Transformed."
"So, we have a leak." said Bronwyn.
"More like a gaping hole, Bronwyn. If you are going to keep
up the Sisterhood by Transforming men in this society, you
better start working on computer security and counter
security. You simply are not protecting the Transformee's
against the threat posed by the Internet."
"But we don't know anything about that stuff." wailed Laurie.
Jacqui's voice was deathly cold. "I do. And I am going to
know a lot more. Who ever is behind this killed the man I
loved. I am going to do whatever I can to bring him down, and
to prevent him from killing any more people that I, or those I
love, care about."
Stunned by her turnabout, both women looked at each other
before turning back to Jacqui. "Does. . ." Laurie's voice
broke. "Does this mean you have changed your mind about
changing back to Jack?"
Jacqui shrugged. "I had, before Marcus was killed. I wasn't
going to give up what we could have had together. Love is too
important. I've learned that much in the last 21 months.
Now, I don't know, Mum. Maybe if I was Jack again, his dying
like that would not hurt so much. I just don't know what I am
going to do, except that I am going to help you find the ones
who did it to him. After that, I just don't know."
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
1 Year 9 Months 17 days A. T.
I am now officially overdue for the first time in my
admittedly short female life. I also have morning sickness,
except that I have it at midnight. My healer talents, which
don't normally work on me, can sense other life. And inside
me, there is another life.
Oh Goddess. I am pregnant. Through birth control pills that
I took religiously, and condoms that I personally put on him
and tested, I am somehow pregnant. The man I loved left me a
gift when he left me to die. His son.
Oh Goddess, I barely know how to be a woman. How in the name
of all that is holy am I going to be a Mother?
Think of *something* else, Jacqui. Emotions like that are not
good for the baby.
Bronwyn has been teaching me to "think" to her with my mind.
It has been handy to be able to "talk" to her as I've been
searching the Net for signs of Sisters who are vulnerable. So
far, about six in the hundred or so I have researched have
needed fixes. A couple needed complete changes of identity.
But I am still no closer to finding the animal behind this. I
don't know whether Bronwyn or Mom are. When I ask, I am
politely told that what they are doing is "Sisterhood
business" and not for the ears of "novices".
Makes me so mad I just want to spit.
Don't really need one, but I guess I will pick up one of those
home pregnancy test kits after school today. Professor
Stevens dropped me an email. Seems he wants to talk to me
this afternoon about my schedule for next fall. Good thing I
was ahead on all my work before this all happened. I still got
everything in on time and good grades.
I will need good grades, too. I am going to help the
Sisterhood protect themselves in the 21st Century. Their
collective computer smarts are nearly non-existent - limited
to word processing if they have any at all. And that is
something I can do as Jack or Jacqui.
Jack could raise Marcus' child, couldn't he? Why doesn't Jack
talk to me anymore? I can't remember the last time he needled
me. When did he stop?
I have to go or I will be late for school.
End Journal Entry.
"Is everything ready?" Lancaster asked with deliberate insult
in his voice.
"Yes, High Leader." came the response from the Chief. "The
sanctuary is fully operational and the professor has arranged
for her to be in his office later today. We will take her at
the parking lot she uses after she sees the professor."
"Three action teams involved to provide covering fire for the
getaway, and three different vehicle changes available if
needed en route to the sanctuary."
"I don't need to tell you not to fail." It was not a
"No, High Leader, because we will not fail." was the expected,
"Very well, Chief. Go get the Mother of my Son for me, then."
As the Chief left his office, Lancaster looked down at the
dossier the Chief had given him. The slut was attractive, he
thought. It would not be hard, filling her belly with his
seed. It might even be pleasurable. And even if was not, he
spent the past months stockpiling his semen for this very
purpose. He would enjoy watching the slut grow fat with his
son. Sadly, she would not live long enough afterwards for him
to fully relish his victory. He could not chance her coming
into her full power after getting to know him as well as she
would have to know him.
Jacqui was furious as she stormed across campus toward her
parking lot. The paper Professor Stevens wanted her to sign
was one he'd already had her sign weeks ago. She had waited
on campus three hours after her last class for that meeting,
which the Professor himself was forty five minutes late for,
and it had been for nothing. She could have been continuing
her search for blown covers on the Internet for the past three
Grimfaced, she stomped up to her car and was inserting the key
in the lock with something grabbed her shoulder. Before she
could react, a sharp sting bit into her left buttock. The
world went black before she could even straighten up to turn
"Any casualties?" barked Lancaster.
"None, High Leader. The capture was unobserved. We escaped
"Are you sure of that, or is that merely an assumption on your
The Chief answered. "It is a fact, Sir, but we took
precautions, none the less. We made three vehicle changes and
had two different counter surveillance cars on each leg of the
trip here. We were not followed."
"Excellent work, Chief. How long will she be out?"
"Another three to five hours, Sir. The drug is relatively
harmless, but it is quick acting and takes a while to wear
"Excellent. I will remain with her until she awakens. Now,
you may go. Ensure that our Brothers are properly alert. The
Sisterhood may try to rescue her."
"Bronwyn, where can she be? It is after seven. She is usually
home by two o'clock on Tuesdays, particularly since she has
been doing the computer security checks. And she always calls
if she is going to be late."
"I don't know, Laurel. I am going to alert the other Sisters
in the area and then I will meet you at your home. We will
try and locate her once we have our Sisters with Finder crafts
with us. Keep faith, lover. I won't let anything happen to
your child." Bronwyn was trying to sound more positive than
she felt. She still did not even know the identity of the one
behind all this."
"Don't try to pretend to still be asleep, slut. I know you
are awake." The voice talking to her was slightly familiar.
"Open your eyes, bitch!"
The slap that followed opened her eyes quite effectively.
Jacqui could not move her legs or her arms. Looking down she
saw some type of glowing bands encircling her upper torso and
arms, and her thighs and ankles. Then she looked up and saw
the hard, dark features of someone she recognized. "You...
I... I know you. You work with Professor Stevens..... at
"Yes. A useful puppet, that one. Easily susceptible to the
Power of the Dark One. Unlike you. I cannot influence you,
and I tried while you were unconscious. All of you men-
turned-women are resistant. I was unable to turn any of you.
It is too bad. For you, that is." His face showed pleasure
that thought. Jacqui cringed.
"Who are you? Why am I here?" Jacqui tried to control her
fear, tried to sound powerful instead of pitiful, but to her
own ears, she failed.
Lancaster laughed. "I? Who am I? I am Erich Lancaster,
president of Lancaster Electronics and High Leader of the
Brotherhood of the Dark One. And you, little witch, are here
to be the instrument of my total victory over your sorry
Sisterhood." He smiled at the horror in her eyes. "Yes, your
son will be my son, and he will be High Leader after me. He
will have the Power of the Dark One and will be immune to your
puny magicks because he will be of the Sisterhood, as well.
My son will span the millennia old schism between our two
factions, and will lead the Brotherhood to their rightful
Pleased to have an audience for his greatness, Lancaster
decided to tell his captive the whole of his plan. "And then,
the Brotherhood will be free to dominate the world again. Not
through force of arms. No, Brother Hitler taught us the
futility of that path. We have been fifty years regaining our
strength after that debacle. We cannot fight the entire world
on the physical level. Our power is great, but still limited.
Eventually the shear weight of numbers that would ally against
us would again defeat us."
"No, this time, we will win by using the power of the computer
married to the Power of the Dark One. That is how we found
your Sisters that we captured, and how we discovered you.
Your cult's ways of hiding identities that have changed with
their sex were adequate twenty five years ago, even perhaps
ten years ago. No longer. Even if you tried to somehow find
and change every record on the Internet, my records are sealed
"Now, I will use it to attack, as well. A magically created
computer virus is ready to be loosed on the world. Once it
infects a computer, it lays dormant until I order it to act.
The computer does not even need to be connected to the Web any
longer so there is no defense against it. Whole systems can
be lost, or corrupted or externally operated by me.
Controlling computers can be made to malfunction. The modern
world will either accede to our demands or society will end.
No electricity. No air travel. Communications disrupted and
lost. It will be a return to the Stone Age because even those
tools that do not require computers to work, require something
that is controlled by a computer to work. I call my little
virus the Second Black Plague for its effects will be as far
reaching in this time as the original Plague was in the Europe
of the Middle Ages."
"It is like cyber-biological warfare." Jacqui whispered.
"Indeed it is. I knew you would appreciate the genius of
this. I knew it from the way you used computers at your
school and at your home. Ahh. You did not know I was
eavesdropping on your accounts? Easily. You are very
talented. It is one of the reasons I chose you as the Mother
of my Son. You and I have a rare combination of computer
talent and the potential to wield magic. Very few have both,
but you and I both do. Talents we will bequeath to our son."
"But why? Why alert the Sisterhood with your attacks? It
makes no sense if you already had this weapon." Jacqui's mind
was clearing now. Lancaster did not know that she was already
pregnant. What would he do if he found out? Kill her? Or
simply kill her child and then get his child on her
afterwards. She had to protect Marc's child. She had to play
"Why attack your so-sacred Sisterhood of emasculated crones?
Because the power they use to perpetuate themselves is an
abomination in the eyes of the Dark One. Because they have
opposed us time and again in the past and have caused us shame
in the eyes of the Dark One. You take from men the Power of
the Dark One. I do not want them and their un-maled whelps
upon the earth when we achieve our victory. I want them to
die knowing that they could not stop that final victory."
Jacqui's intuition flared, and she heard the unwitting
emphasis on the words "emasculated" and "power they used to
perpetuate" and "un-maled". With all her will, she forced her
face muscles into something approximating a smile. "You fear
the Transformation." she said with absolute confidence and
assurance. "Its not that the Sisterhood deterred your group
in time-forgotten ages. You are afraid. You're terrified
that you will wake up some morning with tits and a cunt."
A vicious backhand slap rocked Jacqui back onto the cot she'd
been laid on. "Stupid Bitch!" he roared. "I fear nothing
about your puling Sisterhood, least of all the weak magicks of
their impotent Goddess." He raised his fist to strike her
again, but suddenly stopped with his hand still above his
head. He seemed to shudder and then slowly lowered the hand
as he composed his furious features. "No. You won't get off
that easily, little witch. I know you don't have the power to
oppose me because you have not yet given birth or suckled a
child. You cannot make me kill you now. Oh, no, not until we
pull my son from your bleeding and dying body." He turned and
strode to the room's only door. "You will be fed and cared
for to keep you healthy. After you finish your next menses,
we will monitor you for ovulation. As the time approaches, we
will inseminate you daily. I might even do it, myself,
naturally, once or twice. You will give me my son, witch, and
he will destroy the last remnants of your cursed sect." And
with that, he disappeared through the door, slamming it behind
He's mad, Jacqui thought, but he can do what he said. At
least the impregnation part. As for his Black Plague, she
just did not know enough about magic to know if he could
magically activate it, but the infection was possible.
She felt so alone. She started to think that she wanted her
Mother, but that brought on another grim thought. That man
had already killed at least one, probably more Sisters. If
her gentle Mother came to rescue her, there was every reason
to believe he'd kill Mum, too.
Jacqui could not stand that thought. She herself, was
probably already as good as dead, but her capture would
probably alert Bronwyn and her friends. Maybe they could find
clues that would lead them to Lancaster. If they found her,
they would come running and would run straight into him, in
the kind of direct confrontation that favored the killing
power of the Dark Power over the subtle power of the Goddess.
Grimly, Jacqui tried to shield her mind. She had to "hide"
herself away from Bronwyn and her Mother. They had to find a
different way to Lancaster - one that would give them time to
plan, instead of reacting to her capture. With all the power
at her command, Jacqui closed her eyes, and tried to close her
mind as well.
A Change of Direction
Bronwyn and the other members of the Sisterhood gathered
around the distraught Laurie. Funneling their combined power
through one or two Sisters with "finder" talents, the Sisters
had spent the better part of the evening and night searching
for the mental touch of Laurie's daughter, but to no avail.
"I can't sense her, Bronwyn. I know she is still alive
because I would know if her life-strength died, but I cannot
sense her well enough to help the Sisters of the Finder craft
locate her. Somehow, she is using her own powers and she is
blocking me. Dammit, why did she have to be so powerful?"
"It is why we Transformed her, Laurel, because she could be so
powerful. Now, we must assume she is being noble, and trying
to protect us so that we will be strong when the time to
confront the Brotherhood arises."
"We cannot let her do that, Bronwyn." Laurie whispered
desperately. "She is my baby. We have to get her back."
Bronwyn nodded solemnly. "Indeed we must, Laurel, but not for
that reason alone. Remember, she carries an un-Transformed
daughter of the Sisterhood in her womb, and we cannot let the
Brotherhood have that child. Especially since we have not
taught Jacqui the Birth Rites that would protect the still-
male child from the Dark Power."
Laurie's eyes lit up. "The child! I have touched her child
already. I know his aura!" She sent her senses outward once
again and almost immediately touched and found, "The child!
Bronwyn! I know where he is. She forgot to shield him from
me. I have found her!"
A short cheer went up from the assembly of witches, only to be
cut short by the realization they would now be facing the
Brotherhood directly. For the first time since the ancient
times, the forces of the Goddess and the Dark One would openly
confront one another. The days of the Sisterhood manipulating
men of power from behind the scene were over. By kidnaping
Laurie's unborn grandchild, still in his Mother's womb, this
new High Leader of the Brotherhood had gone too far.
Lancaster had returned to Jacqui's cell, and was seated across
the room from her, watching Jacqui with eyes heated by
madness. His followers were outside, standing guard around
the perimeter of the factory complex. She felt so bloody
helpless. What was the point of having magic powers if you
could not *do* anything with them?? Nothing Jacqui had been
taught to date by Laurel or by Bronwyn was adequate to the
task of protecting herself or her child, not against a madman
with the destructive power Lancaster seemed to possess.
She hoped that her spell of concealment had prevented her
Mother from finding her. She did not want her impulsive
Mother getting herself killed running to her rescue. What
could she do, anyway? Hell, What could Jacqui do? The only
positive thing in this mess was that Lancaster wanted to make
her conceive a child. Since she was already pregnant, that
gave her at least a month to come up with some way of
escaping, while Lancaster awaited a menses that was not going
to happen. Or at least, coming up with some way of preventing
Lancaster from hurting her child.
"Your child will be great, woman, because he will be my son,
and because I, Lancaster, High Leader of the Brotherhood, will
make him so. I will teach him the power of the Dark One. He
will take my place at the head of the Brotherhood, and he will
destroy your precious Sisterhood once and for all. It is too
bad we did not know of you. You have great reserves of power
in you, but now, it is a pale, weak and useless thing. It
cannot no longer destroy. They took that from you when they
Transformed you, and more. They took from you your will to be
great, your will to conquer, your will to dominate." His
words began to run together, to slur, as his tirade grew.
"Through your son, I will rule the world."
At the very instant of that arrogant claim, the heavy door
exploded inward and first Bronwyn, then Laurie rushed in
followed by four other members of the Sisterhood. Bronwyn
gestured at Jacqui, and the glowing bands that had been
holding her immobile disappeared. Recovering quickly,
Lancaster struck out, sending globules of black light flying
at the six women. Bronwyn, Laurie and two of the women
managed to shield themselves in bubbles of incandescently
bright white light. The globules hissed and sputtered and
then disappeared against the shining globes. The other two
women did not shield in time and the globules struck them full
in their chests. They screamed, hideously, and then simply
dissolved into foul smelling puddles on the floor.
Jacqui tried to move to the four remaining women, but
Lancaster cut her off, grabbing her with a choke hold about
her throat. "We seem to have a standoff, High Priestess. And
I sense that you are the High Priestess. My men have been
dealt with, I assume?"
"Neutralized, High Leader. Unharmed, but the stench of the
Dark One has been forever washed out of their souls."
"Leaving them without power or the will to use it properly if
they still had it. And your Goddess," the word was hissing
curse, "Considers that to be nondestructive, to brutally rip
from a man the very characteristics that first gave him
dominion over this planet. You cannot do that to me - my
power is too great. And you cannot destroy me - your Goddess
forbids it. Sadly, it appears I cannot destroy you either
while you hide behind your cowardly shields. It seems my best
course of action, then, is to take my leave and face you again
some other day." He started to drag Jacqui toward the back
"We will not let you leave here with her, Lancaster. We can
He stopped and regarded Bronwyn. The red haze of madness had
receded from his dark eyes, replaced by animal cunning. "I
suppose you can at that. I don't know how, but your words have
the ring of truth." He shook his head sadly and turned his
head to Jacqui. "This one held the key to our ancient
struggle. Obviously, I will not be the one to use her to
unlock that final victory." The madness burned brightly again
and his right hand rose high above Jacqui. "But NEITHER will
YOU, High BITCH!"
The raised hand turned black and began to shimmer and pulse
with a strange glow that heralded the total absence of light
instead of its presence. The glow coalesced into a writhing
mass above the pair and then it began to beam down onto
Jacqui, who was still struggling to free herself. The instant
the light grazed her, she screamed in utter agony.
"NOOOOOO!!!!" Laurie's scream answered her daughter's and she
reacted without thinking, forging a healing link with her
child and the child in her womb. Her power, backed by
Bronwyn's own, flowed into Jacqui, deflecting the soul-
consuming black light and healing the damage already done.
Lancaster tried to increase the power of his spell, but the
combined power of the Sisterhood and Laurie first deflected
his thrust and then reflected it back into him. The force of
his destructive burst backfired on him, and blew him bodily
away from the reeling Jacqui.
Jacqui regained her senses to see Bronwyn and the Sisterhood
and her Mother. She took a tentative step toward them when
her Mother collapsed to the floor. Instantly, Jacqui tried to
forge her own link with her Mother, but failed. Her Mother
resisted her, and what Jacqui saw in the instant she was in
touch with her chilled her soul. Laurie had not guarded
herself in the link with her daughter. Jacqui should have
died and Laurie had taken the damage done to her child into
herself. Now, her Mother was dying.
Lancaster struggled to his feet. Jacqui saw him gathering
himself, felt the power growing in him again, and wanted to
strike out at him, to turn him into puddles of sewage as he
had just done to her Mother's friends. Her Mother's hand
gripped hers and she knew she could not.
She had to do something. He had to be stopped. What had he
said? "You take from men the power of the Dark One."? The
followers of the Goddess were weak because they lacked that
power? Her soul in torment, Jacqui tapped the full resources
of power she had been told time and again were hers. The most
powerful magic she knew was the one enchantment she still
could not control well enough to use safely on herself, but
she could still use it . . . other ways.
Bronwyn was the first to sense the change in Jacqui, and
fearing Jacqui was retaliating in kind, called out to her to
stop. Jacqui heard nothing save her Mother's scream, and saw
nothing save the man whose lust for power had fatally injured
the woman who had twice given birth to her.
The air about Jacqui literally began to seethe with visible
power and she quietly intoned the words she had been taught .
The world exploded in a cold flash of pure blinding white
light, with her at its fiery center. In the core of the
swirling maelstrom of power, Jacqui sang the song her Mother
and Bronwyn had taught her and bent the fabric of life to her
will. When the storm faded, the power of the Dark One had
been banished from that room.
Moments later, she was kneeling beside her Mother, crying.
"Mother," she begged. "Let me in. Please, let me try to help
you. I love you. Don't leave me."
"No, my love. You cannot help me. There is not enough life-
power in you to heal me without the cost of your own life."
"Bronwyn, help me." Jacqui cried. "Make her let me in. Help
me help her."
"I don't think we can, my love." Bronwyn said sadly.
"Certainly not if she resists us."
"And I will resist, Bronwyn, for even with the combined power
of the Sisterhood, it may not be enough. Bronwyn, remember my
Death Wish?" Shocked, Bronwyn paled, then nodded. Laurie
turned back to Jacqui. "You can be Jack again. The High
Leader's attack has all but stripped me of my life-power. The
enchantment that I put upon you, the magic that forces you to
do the Transformation yourself will die with me. The power is
in you, daughter, and the Sisterhood can help you. You may
never be this powerful again. Don't let me destroy your
Bronwyn sighed. "It may not work, Laurel. She has killed
with the power of the Goddess. She won't have the power to
complete the spell with us."
"I did not kill him." Jacqui snarled. "I Transformed him.
See for yourself."
One of the Sisters, a woman Jacqui recognized as her high
school vice principal, ran over to where Lancaster had fallen
under Jacqui's onslaught. She made a cry of wonder and
returned, carrying a newborn baby in her arms.
"The child is female, High Priestess." Thea said in hushed
"She can't wield the Dark One's power, and she can be raised
again, this time without the Dark Power's taint. I don't have
the control Mother had. I could not focus the spell on just
him. So, I attacked any "Y" chromosome I touched with my
spell. I don't know what the range of the enchantment was,
but whatever it is, there is not a male creature inside of
that perimeter." Jacqui whispered, still trying to focus her
power to pierce her Mother's defenses.
Bronwyn nodded and knelt down beside Mother and daughter. She
rested a hand on each of them. "Then what your Mother said is
true, Jacqui. Her spell dies with her. Given what I have just
witnessed, your power is now so great, that with all of us
acting together, we could reverse your mother's spell
together." she paused, her voice catching, "once your Mother
crosses over, but you will leave here as Jack once more."
That was what she wanted, wasn't it? "But what about Mum?
What about..." She choked back a sob. "What about my baby?"
Tears flowed down Jacqui's cheeks, cutting tracks in the sooty
aftermath of Lancaster's magical attack.
"Your mother wants you to have your dream." Bronwyn said
gently. "She will resist healing if it costs you your dream.
We can do nothing for her without her help. We do not have
the power to overcome the greatest healer of our age. As for
your child, he is the product of your lover's sperm and your
Transformed egg. Two sperm cannot make a child, Jacqui, and
that is precisely what they will become once you Transform
back. Your baby will simply revert into two separate sperm
cells. One which came from the father, and one which used to
be your egg. Now come, the time is short. The optimal time
for the spell is just as your Mother's spell is broken."
Jacqui knew that was a euphemism for "just as your Mother
Jacqui bent over her mother, crying on her shoulder. "Do it,
Jack." Laurie's voice was only a weak, thready whisper as she
called him by a name he had not heard on her lips in over a
year and a half. The end had to be near. "Take this chance
to be your dream again. Let the last sight I see in this life
be the power of the Goddess encircling you. Let me pass over
knowing that the wrong I committed against you will be
corrected in that next instant."
Bronwyn took Jacqui's hand. "One more thing you must know. A
man cannot wield the power of the Goddess, Jacqueline. When
you do this, you do so understanding that you will lose your
powers forever. The Gift of the Goddess is given only once.
I will still love you and watch over you, but you will be as
you were before - a normal human man."
Jacqui did not really have time to consider what to do. It
was all happening so fast, and everyone was doing their part
to help her return to "normal". She watched as the combined
power of the Sisterhood began to light the room above each of
the surviving sisters. Their individual lights then merged,
and continued to grow until their power became a visible,
living thing enfolding the group circled about Laurie's body
on the floor. Finally, the light seemed to move from the
group, to coalesce into a shimmering halo above and about the
High Priestess and Jacqueline.
Jacqui reeled momentarily as she fought to contain and control
the power given her by the other Sisters. "You must say the
incantation, Jacqueline. You must complete the rite to change
yourself back. I give you the power of your Sisters. I give
you my power. Make it one with yours and Make your dreams
Once again, Jacqui murmured words of power, and sang a song of
love. The power seemed to implode into her, filling her soul,
where it resided for long eternities encompassing
infinitesimal fractions of a second. The incredible totality
of the merged power threatened to explode from her, flying out
uncontrolled, in all directions, but Jacqui fought against
that explosion, fought to bend the seething light to her will.
Fought, and won.
With the last vestige of her mental strength, she completed
the incantation and focused the combined power of the
And the world went black.
A Change of Direction
"... wake up. Come on now, darling, you must wake up."
Mum was yelling again, Jacqui thought muzzily. Must have
overslept again. Sleep started to unravel and. . . MUM!??!
Eyes shot open. "MUM, you're alive!" She blinked her eyes
rapidly, trying to make them clear. Her Mother was still
standing there above her. "Aren't you? This isn't a dream or
heaven, is it?"
"I am alive, darling, and you are still my daughter. You took
the gift of the Goddess, the power that could have given you
back your dreams, and you used it to shatter my resistance to
the healing magic, and then, to give me life." Her Mother
gave a huffy sniff of mock disapproval. "In spite of my
decision to keep you from wasting the power on me."
"Dreams change, mum, and my dreams have changed. Besides,
there was no choice. You matter much more to me than a penis.
The comparison is laughable."
Jacqui tried to get up so she could enfold her Mother in a
hug, but weakness dragged her back down. "None of that, Miss.
You need rest to regain your strength. Bronwyn is incredulous
over what you did tonight." She grinned that wonderful,
impish grin of hers. So beloved, Jacqui thought. "Do you know
that when you attacked Lancaster, you also Transformed every
known member of the Brotherhood at the same time?" Jacqui
shook her head, surprised at that. "Yes indeed. Now almost
every Sister has a newborn daughter to raise. Quite a change
for all of us, let me tell you. We have centuries of
experience with boy babies, but absolutely none with girl
babies. Bronwyn took Lancaster, and has named her Lani. She
thinks he, or rather, she thinks Lani has the potential to be
a Priestess, with a lot of love and the right training and
"What happens if they learn the Transformation Spell?" Jacqui
"If you are worried about a resurgence of that faction of the
Brotherhood, don't be. You did your job very well. They were
all newborns. We just did the Birth Rites on them. None of
them will ever wield the Dark Power again."
"You know what is really strange, Mum? Lancaster wanted to
breach the rift between the Brotherhood and the Sisterhood, to
remarry the Power of Darkness with the Power of the Light, and
now he will. Only instead of his son doing it as a member of
the Brotherhood, *she* will do it as a member of the
Sisterhood." She stopped and gathered her courage. "I wanted
to kill him, Momma, but at the last instant, you stopped me.
What I did was all I could think of doing to prevent him from
using that awful power again."
Laurie soothed with a gentle physical and magical touch.
"Hush. You did just fine. What is really amazing is that in
all the centuries of strife between our two factions, we of
the Sisterhood never considered using the Transformation Spell
that way. We always saw it as a gift. I guess it took
someone who did not see it quite that way to find its
potential as a weapon." Laurie checked her daughter's
forehead and found it cool. "Now, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, Mum. A little tired, but otherwise really fine."
A hand went protectively to her stomach and her healer's touch
sought the baby sleeping there. Her child was all right, but
different than before, she was surprised to note. A grin lit
her face. "My baby is fine, too. And *she* won't have to be
Transformed. There will be one more girl baby for the
Sisterhood to raise."
"You think you are having a daughter? Darling, I told you -
our family doesn't have daughters." Jacqui's brows lifted in
mute challenge and Laurie blushed. "Well, our children don't
start out as daughters. Our eggs reject sperm that carry X
"This one started out as a male, too, Mom. But as I told
Bronwyn, every male creature within the range of my spell was
Transformed. Including Junior." she laughed patting her still
flat tummy. "In the end, I did exactly what I told you I
would not do. I Transformed my son."
Both women shared a chuckle at that irony, then Laurie became
serious again. "You know, dear. You will still be able to go
back to being a male. You are still on track to learn the
Control of the Transformation Spell. You can use it on
yourself as those other men in the records did. The part of
my original spell that imposed the prohibition against you
using the Transformation on yourself still stands since you
saved me. However, I would say you will have ample power for
the job once you have satisfied all the experience
"And let someone else raise my kid?" Jacqui's look was
mutinous and her tones were indignant. "Not bloody likely.
We are talking the first female point guard in the NBA here.
She is going to need the proper example. Besides. Marcus is
her father. Since she is going to be a girl all her life, we
can share her with her paternal grandparents. It might make
his passing easier on them."
Laurie raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Are those your only
Jacqui simply grinned. "And I would not give up the love and
loving of the Sisterhood for anything, Mom." Jacqui pulled
her Mother down into the bed beside her for a quick kiss and
hug. "Thank you, Mom." she whispered into Laurie's ear.
"Thank you for loving me that much."
Another thought struck Jacqui. "Um, Mom?"
"What, love?" Laurie murmured against Jacqui's mouth.
"You *are* going to be my birthing coach, aren't you? I mean,
that isn't something a guy should have to face without his mom
there to hold his hand. Even if the guy is a girl, now." And
Laurie burst into laughing, happy tears, and was soon joined
by her daughter.