Part 13 Loving Well is the Best Living

Later, Jane had Eleanora, Caitlyn and Diana as guests in her rooms. "You look very lovely tonight, Caitlyn."

"Thank you, Ms. . .I mean, Aunt Jane," she responded shyly.

"And tell me, how do you feel? Sitting here among women as a woman? Pretty, winsome, demure? The picture of elegant young womanhood? How do you personally feel, right now, as you think about yourself that way?"

No one spoke for what seemed to be a very long time, as they gave the young teen an opportunity to digest and answer the question. Finally, she looked up, her face worried. "I feel . . comfortable, Aunt Jane. . .Happy."

"At peace with yourself, dear?" Jane prodded gently.

After several moments, the girl nodded slowly.

"Let me ask another question then. Suppose I tell you that tomorrow morning Caro and Sandy will be here to change Caitlyn back to Carlton, so that your Mother can take her son home with her."

"But. . but the performance. . ." she stuttered out in surprise.

Jane smiled. "All right. After the performance. Monday, Caitlyn becomes a memory and Carlton gets on with his life."

The three women watched intently as emotions flew across the girl's expressive face. Finally she nodded. "I guess I have to, don't I?"

At that point, Eleanora moved over to kneel in front of the daughter she thought never to have. "No, you don't," She said quietly.

"But what about Dad?" Caitlyn asked through a sob.

"As I *told* you, sweetheart, your Father will love *you*, Carlton or Caitlyn or both. Your Dad loves you, not some male icon, but you, the person that you are." Caitlyn started to protest, but her Mother put a finger to her lips to stem that. "Let me ask you one question. Is it only the dance? Is that what is so important about Caitlyn to you? If we could find a way for Carlton to dance as Caitlyn, would that be enough for you? Not for me, not for your father, but for you?

Again, the silence grew oppressive. In the end, Caitlyn shook her head. "I don't know, Mother. For all the grief I have caused Aunt Jane, I have been . . .well, happy here. The kids at the dance school have become my friends, and Carlton never had very many friends. I like the clothes and all that, but that isn't what's bothering me. . .not really. I feel good doing the homey things that Aunt Jane and Marie have taught me here, but I also feel good about going to a ball game with Dad and things like that."

"That's fair, dear," Diana interjected. "You've only had Caitlyn for a few months and you've a lifetime of experiences as Carlton."

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Caitlyn said, rubbing mascara blackened tears from her cheek.

"And we don't want that anyone to include you, dear," her Mother said quietly.

"Suppose, Caitlyn, that Jane and her cronies do come here next week and bring Carlton back for a while. You've lived here, utterly immersed in a deeply feminine experience for five months, and as you just said, you've been happy," Diana offered gently. "Now, you can go back and reacquaint yourself with Carlton. There's no reason Carlton can't cook, or help your Mother with the house or garden, and my goodness, Rosey Greer does needle point. Carlton doesn't have to lose anything that he gained by being Caitlyn."

"Except dance."

"If you want to dance, dear, and still want to live most of your life as Carlton, then we will find a way for that," Eleanora interposed. "Trust me on that. I still have some connections in the world of dance, and I will use them now that I know how important your ballet is to you."

"Excellent," Diana approved. "And Caitlyn, there is no reason that you have to lose those things you like about Carlton's life if you choose to live full time or most of the time as Caitlyn. It may surprise you to know this, but women *do* enjoy sports, too. The very aristocratic, sublimely elegant Ms. Jane Thompson used to be one of those football fans who put the "fan" in the word "fanatic"."

"I *did* not," Jane said in stilted tones that drew forth the intended chuckle from everyone, albeit a watery one from Caitlyn.

"I promise you this, my son and daughter," Eleanora said with quiet authority. "No one. . . . and I mean *NO* one will ever force you to make a choice between Carlton and Caitlyn. That is your business, your *life*, and your father and I, as well as these other folks who *love* you, will support you and continue to love you."

"Oh, Mom," Caitlyn cried as she threw herself into her Mother's arms.

~----------------~

Later that night, Jane rested in the embrace of her lover, who had finally kept her promise to come to bed in full make up. Spent, the two feminine creatures were cuddling gently - a touch here, a kiss there, a hug - and talking softly about the evening.

"Do you think she will choose to remain Caitlyn?" Jane asked.

"In my experience, love, it is rarely something so voluntary as a choice. For people like Caitlyn, her gender is simply who she is inside, not how she's built outside. But to answer your question, I think it will not be long before Caitlyn returns. She has a lot going for her - much more than many of my patients."

"Oh?"

"Her mom," Diana said simply. "Her support will not inhibit Carlton/Caitlyn the way most parents and family members do to their children with gender identity issues. If Dad is half as open as Eleanora makes him out to be, then I suspect Caitlyn will be back sooner rather than later. Her father's opinions and feelings matter to her as much as her Mother's feelings do, and we already know what she tried to give up for her Mother."

"No wonder I couldn't do much with that child."

"Like I said, it is hard to humiliate a girl by making her be a girl."

"The one thing I don't understand is how someone as gentle natured as Caitlyn ended up charged with assault with a deadly weapon. That makes no sense to me."

"Oh really? Look at her Mother's defense of her child against your evil, uncaring self, darling. See the daughter in the Mother."

"She didn't come after me with a ball bat."

"If you'd continued to threaten her child, and that is precisely now Eleanora saw things, I suspect she wouldn't have hesitated for a moment and might have found something more dangerous than a bat."

"I guess, but that was for her child, and that's not Caitlyn's situation."

"I suspect, dear heart, that when we know the whole story it will it will turn out to be self defense. Those bastards have been working Carlton over for months. Over time, their ability to get a satisfactory rise out of him with their less malicious tricks waned. They needed that rush they got from his fear, anger, humiliation. .. whatever, so their cruelty gradually escalated. Top that off with his father trying to "help" him by encouraging him to take care of himself. . ."

"Sometimes you've got to fight when you're a man?"

"Precisely. Eventually, they'd have to start ganging up on him. That last time, they made the mistake of letting him get his hands on weapon - and paid for it."

"Unfortunately, Diana, so did Carlton."

"Oh, but he gained far more than he lost, dear. First of all, he got you and your family on his side - a prize of inestimable value, I assure you. He came to understand Caitlyn and in so doing, began to face who he, or rather, who she truly is. And he regained his gift of dance. If you asked her, I think you'd find that Caitlyn is more than happy with both the prize and the price."

"Well, if that's the case, then I can happily move on in my life. I will miss the boys, though," Jane sighed.

"Pardon me?" And the voice that spoke was pure Art.

"Well, I can't very well run this program where you live. I won't have the support of folks like Caro, Sandy and Betty who help me set up those terrifying yet safe be-skirted brushes with the general public. Whither thou go-est, beloved-man." Jane said softly. "After all, you *are* marrying me, aren't you?"

"Now you listen to *me*, Jane Thompson, there is NO way you are giving up working with your boys." Jane started to speak but was cut off by Art. "I told you I was at loose ends. That was because I was getting ready to retire from active practice. I still have some cases to transfer to another practitioner, but I am all but done with that phase of my life. My house is already up for sale. I told you that I came here to fix the biggest mistake of my life, and YES, we are getting married, but I am not going to let *you* make an even bigger mistake by depriving yourself of the life and children you love."

"But, Art, a vital part of the program is that the boy thinks he is alone in a house of women - a great, unyielding tsunami of femininity without the slightest masculine safe harbor."

"I don't think anyone except you knew of Art before I revealed myself to Darla and Cait."

"But you'd have to live most of your life as Diana!" Jane pointed out.

"Oh Really? Why didn't *I* think of that?" Was that a hint of mockery in Diana's voice? Jane wasn't quite certain.

"You mean wearing skirts and makeup, and having my hair done up? Go to the beauty salon with you? All that kind of thing?"

Diana's perplexed tone had Jane wondering if she'd misread the first response. "Well . . . Yes . . . of course. We can have only *women* here when there are students about the house. At least during those first critical weeks of a student's tenure here."

"Oh. Well, that's different. I'll really have to think about that . . ."

Jane stifled a sigh of disappointment.

"Janie?" Diana returned, bearing an impish countenance, "Is that a promise?"

"But . but. . but. . "

"I can live as either Diana or Art as long as I have you, and I think helping you with your boys would be a wonderful way to spend our life together. So, what else is the matter? Afraid to be known as a lesbian?"

"Oh, you," Jane growled, as exasperated as she was exultant. She made a snatching grab for a pillow, but was too slow.

Diana was on her before she could get a grip on her fluffy weapon, and was kissing the breath out her. When the kiss finally, reluctantly broke, Art/Diana looked into Jane's eyes. "Are you really worried about such things, Jane?"

"No, I guess I am not. All right, we'll try it. All I ask is that when you reach the point where you cannot handle it anymore, you go on a trip until I finish with whatever boys are in the program. I don't know what damage it might do to them to discover that Dr. Philips is a male during some of the more. . .difficult phases of the program.

"I think it's more "if" than "when, darling, but all right, I promise. Now, will you marry me, Jane Thompson?"

"Who gets to wear the wedding dress?" She asked pertly.

"We'll get married twice so we can take turns. Although I think you'll need a corset to fit into my dress, darling."

"WHAT???? Why you. . ." Precisely what Jane would have said will never be known as her unpredictable mate started beating her with the very same down pillow that Jane hadn't quite managed to get to first.

Much later, basking in the warm afterglow of the loving their play had sparked, a voice said drowsily, "Yes, my darling, I will marry you."

Only a soft, purringly feminine snore answered.